Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

I like the sound of your white christmas tree Roadie, and I know what you mean about the xmas pudding. Nobody really likes it here either (including me) but rather stupidly I feel its not christmas unless I make one (cos, you know, I really have the time to waste making stuff nobody eats ...). Yeah, shopping with a little one can be very, um, character building?! So I totally get the online thing but if I'm out and about for whatever reasons, I try to look in likely places.

I took ds7 to see Lion King (in the cinema) today (brought a tear to my eye and took me right down memory lane because ds1, now 18, used to love that film and could virtually recite it off by heart). Anyway, on way home, I passed a garden centre that generally does nice christmas decorations, so swerved in and had a quick look. They did have their decorations in, but I wasn't inspired in the least (unlike ds, who I had to drag off the life sized polar bear several times).

Not too late to join in is it?

Was going to soak fruit for cake this weekend (Delia's recipe) but don't have brandy...can it be done with rum or whiskey instead? (Have copious amounts of both in cupboard).

Hoping to move into our new house just before christmas so need to get organised now... DH can unpack our stuff and put furniture together whilst DS and I decorate the house!

Sheesh couldn't find the thread. Palpitations,man.

Important news! Sarah Raven Christmas stuff out!!!Here

Some lovely stuff as always, but this year seems littered with a little more sawyoucoming stuff than the norm. I mean, £20 for a bunch of mistletoe???

After last year's thread I have been so ready for a poncetastic Christmas...until I got a BFP in March and am now due in 4 weeks.

Have made a Christmas cake, one for us and one for the inlaws. Card hangers have been made, jars of glittery jam for my ds on Christmas morning has been done and enough gingham has been ordered should I need to make biscuits in jars as emergency gifts.

If I'm honest, I just can't be fucked...I'm utterly exhausted. Get this baby out and I'll have about hmmm 3 weeks (if it's on time) to organise my life.

How soon can I order a tree? The more things ordered and ready for delivery the better for me really as I quite clearly cannot depend on dh. He will return with an armful of tinsel and multi coloured lights. It will look like Chinese New Year.

Glittery jam? Glittery JAM?! How do you make this?! I NEED GLITTERY JAM!!!

Do have Nigella's Christmas Book?

Right then....
Family has been marshalled, the plans have been made. Here is the grumpy festive spread for you to um over, what have I forgotten?

Christmas eve, coconut duck curry and pullau rice followed by baileys profiteroles.

Christmas morning, champagne and croissants with jam off the allotment.

Christmas dinner, Home made (by my talented brother) cubbington ham (like parma) with buffalo mozzarella and spiced fig compote

Roast goose with all the usual. Roasties, parsnips, glazed carrots, red cabbage, pigs in blankets and gooseberry sauce.

Christmas pudding (made last year a la Delia) with ginger and brandysnap icecream.

Boxing day, Home made hot smoked salmon (brother again!) with capers and blinis

Roast sirloin of beef with all the trimmings

Epic tasteless 70's style trifle with silver balls.

Interspersed with numerous pates, cheeses and other tasty comestibles.

This year has been twattery, I am SO looking forward to Christmas!

Ahem. Can I come in?

I finished putting up my Quince Gin yesterday, the Sloe Gin has already been marinating for a couple of weeks. Though I am going to be pregnant over Christmas so unable to enjoy more than the odd thimbleful

Any ideas for tarting up bottles to make them look really splendid? I've been hoarding the Fentimans ones. Would glass paint be naff? Not sure if it would show up on the sloes?

coconut duck curry????? I need that recipe pls

YY, I need it too! Hello fellow ponce. I'm sorry to have neglected you all for so long but I have been very busy with moving abroad so I hope I am forgiven. I have much cathing up to do, although I have lurked on and off, but not got drawn in, due to other commitments. But I am all yours now, just give me a couple of days to get up to speed.

Grumpybat I am loving your poncetastic credentials - or your brother's at least. Very very impressive.

Sorry, I meant fellow ponces. I realise there are more than one of you.

You're sacked, collect your p45 on the way out.

I will be holding elections for chief ponce this year. Be prepared to pass over your crown to the dedicated and beribboned ponces.

:o :o :o :o

Oh. Is this a coup? Am I to be overthrown?

There is no hiding place, I've taped up all the drains, sewers and rat holes within a 5mm radius of Aibu.

Last chance, stop prioritising rl (and zombie parties) over ver portant poncing and your loyal followers might, just might welcome you back.

How do you know about my zombie pary habit? Who are you? A spy?

party sorry. But anyway, who are you - a spy?

Oh. I've just realised. It's your halloween name. Doh.

It's me, Ruperts Mum :o

Bit late for you! I usually wake up to a page full of FN musings, thought you'd given up on the drunk late shift.

Well I'm up by 5.30 here, plus we are two hours ahead of you (actually it's three now if your clocks have gone back) so most of my best work is done early.

Grumpybat is your brother married?

GalloweesG that explains why I've been stalking searching for your posts and coming up with nothing recently! I thought you'd flounced or got bored and wandered off.

Another 48 hours and I'll be back to the usual name. Although I am feeling it might be time for a change! Will be sure to let you know.

Sorry Barry, brother is indeed newly married but no dc yet hence all the time for curing/smoking/poncing in the kitchen. It is a vair good thing to have our own producer of ham and saucisson in the family, long may it last!

I'll dig out the coconut duck curry recipe this afternoon. It's bloody lovely and just the right amount of festive vs curry for Christmas eve.

HitTheRoadJack, yes, I do have Nigella's Christmas book and I love it - can't believe I missed that recipe in there!! I will have a look later, thank you!