Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

I once used cranberries as fake holly berries. Usually a packet of cranberries has a few that are bright red. I dipped them in school glue and that served to attach them to the holly too.

weezl, I think it's too early to gather fresh holly. Won't the silica gel just dry it up and shrivel the berries? If you have your own holly bush, you can protect it from the birds to prevent them scoffing all the berries.

I made a fresh wreath with berried holly on it one Christmas, and the birds picked all the berries off anyway as it was outside. You can't win!

Who wanted a mincemeat recipe? I've got an alternative to the usual: Fig and sherry. It involves dried figs and apricots, vine fruits, cherries, brown sugar, vegetable suet, ground cinnamon and grated nutmeg, zest of an orange and a lemon, and dry sherry (Fino) No cooking involved until you bake the pies.

That sounds familiar girlywhirly that might be the one I used last year. I think I am going for the easy option this year and buy mince pies - I'm trying to ditch some jobs and save my energy for essential poncing only

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/1324954-My-turn-to-host-AGAIN-ideas-for-making-life-easier

Ah early berries: means a cold winter with potential for laods of snow (tip from ancient Grandad who was a Pembroke farmer but a tip that is almost always right)

Best get freezer stuffed before big rush then!

The house is full of the smell of mince pies

The plan is to have all my sweet things cooked by the end of October. So far my cakes are baked, my puddings are steamed, my cranberry and white chocolate cookies done and my chocolate shortbread cookies not only baked but also iced. The cakes and puddings are wrapped, the cookies are frozen.

Mince pies are batch one of four (25 for the freezer, a few for DP and the builders)!!!

I've also had my decorations out and split them between the rooms/marquee they'll be going in. As the rooms aren't painted, I'm using paint and fabric swatches.

I forgot to put sugar in the pastry for the mince pies

The builders insist they taste great so I'll just serve this batch last once I've got everyone sozzled merry

Woo hoo, just ordered my craft supplies to begin the gingerbread man garland thingy I pinched from Squitch's pinterest. Will have a go and report back, looks easy but.....

Limoncello is coming along nicely too.

Any tips for places to buy cheap fake green garland stuff (not explained well, but stuff I can dress up with fairy lights and berries and ribbon to look beautiful and festive)?

Beyond delighted to have discovered this thread! I revel in a truly Poncetastic Christmas. I have just done a wreath making course, so plan on making a number of wreaths this year. Mincemeat is being made next week, as are chutneys, homemade salts and cake. My Ocado Christmas delivery slot opens next week and I'm contemplating the Heston pudding. Not sure though! Most certainly will not be ordering the dire three Bird roast again shudders at the memory. Might go for a wing of dry aged beef. Goose is also a possibility. Cheese Fondue is a tradition on Christmas Eve. My favorite tradition is putting out a bottle of Champagne with the mince pies for Santa. DH and I get to drink it while wrapping the last of the pressies when the DC have gone to bed!
Decorations are the same every year, with a strictly enforced no tinsel policy, to which I would like to add, no multi-colored lights either. I put up three trees. The DC have their own to decorate. I decorate the main tree. Always have a garland for the bannister and twinkling white fairy lights in as many places as possible.
Getting beyond excited! Wrapping paper themes is my current mission! Loving the ideas I have read on the thread. Can't wait to hit the craft shop!

billgrangersrisotto the garland is REALLY easy to make, i just used scraps that I already had so the connecting hearts are pink gingham rather than red but it still looks REALLY good (if I say so myself)

I have nothing to add with regards to poncetastic crafting/baking but I am going Christmas decoration shopping today so am a little bit over excited.

I too am looking for garlandy green stuff so will report back if I find any. I have found myself surreptitiously photographing felty/scandinavian/folk arty decorations on my phone as they are SO easy to make, saw a lovely heart xmas garland in a garden centre the other day that I might try to recreate. Can you have too many garlands?

Just posting so I can find you again. Things have become decidedly disorganised and non-Christmassy around here over the past couple of weeks and I am now feeling panicky and stressed about how much I have to get done.

I think I have just found my spiritual home . Poncetastic ponciness. Get in!

Right, have had a windfall (if you'll excuse the pun) of bags and bags of apples, both cookers and dessert from a friend, so that has helped make up my mind about what gifts we are going to make.

Am going to do a christmassy apple and cranberry chutney, chilli jam/jelly, onion marmalade and possibly one other type of relish/chuney. Have found some nice mini truckles of cheese and will make some home made crackers-for-cheese.

So, onto my next question. Does anyone have any really nice savoury biscuit/cracker recipes? I have googled and found a few, but a recommendation would be really appreciated.

Right, off to search for suitable packaging now.

Bought some lovely and much needed decorations yesterday - just thought I'd post and say that Leicester TK Maxx has the Sarah Raven book in for £5.99 in case anyone hasnt actually bought it yet :)

They also had some lovely (can't remember what they're called) Christmas stocking hanger things.

John Lewis didn't seem to have the full range in yet (although that could be because I was so over excited that whatever they had in would have been a bit of a let down) though I did buy a few bits (including some lovely felt place mats shaped like snowflakes)

I think though that i have actually reached the point where I have all the decorations a house could need - anymore and i suspect I will tip the balance from poncey to cluttered. Suppose I best start thinking about presents now.

Just done a supermarket order and planning on making mincemeat (delia but with pears as ds1 allergic to apples), pickling pears shallots and eggs and another cake this week.

Luckily the boys are very fond fo cooking so can help (half term)

Having had one of M&S's delicious wenslydale and caramelised carrot chutney sandwiches today, I've decided I have to try making the chutney this year. Any recipe suggestions would be appreciated.

Moosemama, this sounds strange but nigella's recipe for childrens cheese stars is delicious and super easy. It's in the How to Eat book, I can post if you need it.

Squitch, I have everything I need now, after a trip to dunelm this afternoon. Looking forward to starting! I noticed on the notonthehighstreet website there are also individual gingerbread men on red satin ribbon and they look rather fetching! I may make a dew of those as well as the garland, to continue the theme into other rooms (true ponce!!). Looking forward to getting going.

By the way all, wilkinsons has lovely decorations. I was really impressed and bought quite a lot. Also picked up some sticking filler type stuff, seemed much better than other years (a lot less tat).

Thanks billgrangersrisotto, I think my sister has that book, so I will ask her to lend it to me.

Dearprudence, we made this apple and cranberry chutney last year and it went down really well. Lots of people asked for the recipe and others if we had any of the batch left as they'd scoffed it all in a week! We ended up with a paltry half a jar for ourselves, which was a pity because ds1 loved it and he can't have most chutney's because they always have vinegar in that's not gluten free. Am determined to make a couple of batches this year, so that there's plenty left over for us. It looks lovely and christmassy as well, as it goes a lovely red colour, which matures the longer you leave it.

We braved Ikea today. We actually only went to get some of their soft-toy food baskets for dd for Christmas, as they're a bargain compared to most I've seen, but I also managed to pick up a couple of rolls of their brown craft-type wrapping paper and some more of the red and white striped paper along with some hemp-ish twine in red and white. Just need to get individual papers for the dcs now and the wrapping is sorted.

Thanks moosemama for the chutney recipe. Looks delicious.

christ on a bike! what have I been thinking, can't believe I'm so late to the poncetasticness. But can't think about it till after Halloween I'm up to my eyes in pumpkin crafts at the minute. Keep up the good work men and I'll see you all on the 1st Nov

Just going through this thread again to get some more ideas. This week am planning on drying my oranges and have ordered some snowflake cookie cutters (amongst other stuff - went a bit mad in Cox&Cox with the 25% discount code). But I seem to have run out of things to do at the moment.

Am going to make salt dough decorations with my nearly 2 year old but I want to do that nearer Christmas (ie December) so she can hang them on the tree. Same with snowflake cookies. (Suppose those could be made and frozen)

Also need to make stuff to go in hampers - have done salt and vodkas/gins and chutney. Am going to add shortbread or truffles or parmesan biscuits or fudge, but these can't be made for ages. Talking of which, has anyone found any good hamper "receptacles"?

Mincemeat done, cake done. Any obvious ideas of things I have forgotten my poncey friends?

Found a great wreath idea on another thread - most of you have probably seen it Rag Wreath

Hate to mention but B & Q also has some nice Christmas decorations. In among the flashing snowmen and tinsel wreaths nestle some beautiful felt bits and pieces - hearts, stars and gingerbread men among others. Very similar to Cox and Cox poncery, but cheap and on 3 for 2 at the moment. I bought several and cannot wait to put them up. Roll on 2nd Dec (1st is my son's birthday so need to get that out of way first).

I have just made the gingerbread man garland from not on the high street too. My local fabulous fabric shop even had the twine for hanging it. It was easy, made most of it whilst watching television. The kids now want to play with it so have to hide it up.

Evening everyone. Like the Rag Wreath you linked too Kings. You've done loads, have you done your pudding yet?

I'm feeling thwarted (not a nice way to feel!) Everywhere round here seems to be holding off on Xmas decs until Halloween is over - here I am, itching to add to my vast collection, and can't find anything. Hadn't thought about B & Q though, will have to try and get over there. I did find some blue, green and gold peacocky type print ribbon in Wilkinson's, which I thought might look good for poncey swaggy type bows on the bannisters?

It looks cool doesn't it? Although think outside it might get a bit destroyed, so maybe an indoor one. Have cheated and ordered a wreath online (Cox and Cox, red berry one) - it's really plain but really nice actually and I can always spice it up with some dried oranges/holly etc. Actually i confess I have not made a pudding - I was going to but my family aren't massive fans so it seemed a bit of a waste of effort. I have actually bought a couple of Heston clementine ones (they had run out of large ones already) so was going to use those. I sort of feel like making one but it seems a bit silly. Ha - I feel like I haven't done that much - perhaps I need to concentrate on the house decoration ideas! Have also got a white wood slotted christmas tree for the kitchen/dining room (it's about 1.5ft tall so a decoration) and planning on just hanging edible/ex-edible stuff on it - dried oranges and cinnamon (obv not actually edible) and possible some snowflake cookies.

Ooh that is annoying re Christmas decs - I seem to do most of my shopping online anyway (or at least find what I want first) as shopping with a nearly two year old isn't always pleasant! Although might do a trip to Peter Jones with her in the near future - she might enjoy it more now...Anyway there is already lots of stuff online which is good. Those ribbons sound lovely!