GP raised safeguarding concerns over daughter’s periods, itching and distress at appointment

[MyDearLeader]

DD age 10 under assessment for potential adhd (emotional dysregulation, sensory issues, sleep issues) has been showing signs of puberty for a few years (breast puds, hair etc) she is tall for her age. Anyway.. she started on what I believed to be her period on the 4th of July... we had been preparing for it but she is extremely private e.g when we went shopping for her first bra was extremely embarrassed and upset.. when she asked me to shave her armpits then got upset when I said she couldn't do it herself as needs supervision. She has big meltdowns shouting no no no over and over, i still sleep in her bed as she cannot sleep. Anyway the bleeding was very light lasted only a few days then went, it returned on the 19th unexpectedly.. 4 days very light. Anyway on the 1st it started again but this time heavier and bright red, she has also had intermittent itching on and off relieved by sudocrem. Due to all this I booked a gp appointment 1. To be sure this is actually start of period and not something else.

1. To investigate the itching and see if this was related to the bleeding.

My daughter initially refused to go crying hysterically (she wont even let me tell any family what is happening including her dad) I got her there i asked her should I speak or her she said me.

We saw a female dr, I explained everything she kept asking my daughter questions to which she kept hysterically crying shouting no no no.. the dr told me she was concerned at her distressed reaction I explained her history (which is all documented on her record including a diagnosis of anxiety disorder and camhs involvement) she said she was worried it was a trauma response? I informed her periods have been very much normalised in my house I have endometriosis and that she has emotional regulation problems never mind now with new hormones and she feels embarrassed.. she asked me to step out to talk to her alone, my daughter refused did not want to.. she wanted to swab her vagina.. my daughter went into meltdown screaming no no no, the dr said this was a concern?

She agreed it is likely period and the light bleeding were "test runs" gave me a swab to try at home but blindsided me by saying she has safeguarding concerns!!? I was absolutely blown away, I asked why she said the abnormal bleeding and itching.. said if her swab comes back as having thrush she will be formally reporting it? I said due to sensory issues she vigorously Wipes on repeat and I suffer with thrush frequently could she catch it from me? She said no.

Honestly i feel sick to my stomach. My daughter refused the swab by me and has let me supervise her doing it (very traumatic for her)

I just cannot believe it, i am an nhs professional and feel sick that I might need to report this to my line manager that I am being investigated.. my husband is distraught. I was just trying to ensure my daughter is definitely starting periods as mine did not do this and investigate the itching, she doesnt stay out and I sleep with her every night...

I understand processes need to be followed i am just so upset😥

GP doesn’t know much about neurodiversity, clearly. Not your fault OP so try not to worry.

You sleep with her every night? Your 10 year old?

What if someone is sexually touching her?

I think it was possibly the distress that raised alarm bells for the GP.

Try not to worry easier said than done I know. You don't have to inform your work. Soon the tests will come back and you'll know more then and can come up with a plan going forward.

You’re a HCP and can’t see the red flags here? That’s concerning in its own right. The doctor has justified concerns as she can only go on what she sees, not on what you say.

at the appointment your child demonstrated several of the tick box symptoms of sexual abuse.
these were:

unexplained irregular bleeding
itching
parent sleeping in the same bed as them
extreme emotional reaction to gp discussing these issues
extreme emotional reaction to a swab.

many if not most safeguarding referrals are not cases of abuse. But your daughter is showing a number of signs in common with it.

Yes, we went through camhs who tried everything they could to resolve her sleep issues but in the end the only thing that ever worked was someone staying with her

Yes I said I understood but I am upset

Surely in a girl who already has sensory issues, and is new to periods, the soreness and sensitivity you can get during a period in your vulva she would find very distressing and explain as itching.

Appreciate the doctor has to be alert for safeguarding issues but a child already known to be neurodiverse and to CAMHS is not likely to take kindly to the idea of a swab.

To be fair at 10 I had
hormonal outbursts
irregular bleeding
and I would have cried at the thought of a swab and refused it as I would have been embarrassed

This. Sorry, OP.

i appreciate this isn’t the point of the thread, but is she using sanitary towels? I find sanitary towels make me feel itchy so add in sensory issues and perhaps that is why it’s so uncomfortable for her.

Sorry to hear that your daughter is distressed

OP the GP is doing their job. A lot of what you said here is a concern on the surface.

Hysterically crying and refusing to communicate with GP, as well as screaming to get away from her vagina that she’s bleeding from are massive red flags. I’d raise this as a safeguarding concern myself and I’m not trained to spot this.

Further investigations will likely clear you, unless something else is going on you’re possibly unaware of. Let them do their jobs. The alternative is that kids slip through the net.

Though I do think the doctor seemed heavy handed with her. She was clearly very distressed, poor thing.

Op you need to have a look at who else sleeps in her bed at night. This is all very worrying.

It not unusual for a ND child to sleep with a parent.

I understand your distress OP and I’m sure all parents would feel the same way but look at this with your professional hat on and you must understand why the GP has concerns. I’m surprised the GP said she would only raise concerns if the test showed thrush.

In the mean time I would ask DD to just do the swab herself without supervision.

That’s a nightmare, it’s amazing how little GP’s understand about ND girls. My daughter is autistic and it’s sometimes been a complete pain dealing with GP’s who just don’t get her problems.

As to your daughter’s issue have you checked her for worms? My daughter used to get vulva itching and it was always worms. Weirdly did sometimes coincide with periods. If she won’t let you check, maybe just give her some worm medicine anyway just incase. It’s liquid so easily taken and boil wash all her bedlinen and PJ’s/knickers.

My other tip period pants now are really good, aren’t as itchy/sweaty as pads and there are less sensory problems with them wearing them.

It is just me every night

I think it’s difficult for a GP who has ten minutes -it’s better to get someone paeds-trained/ND sensitive along. I’m sorry that you and your daughter are in the middle of all this. Your daughter may have other infections (non sexual) and a swab is useful for them too. I think its reasonable to check whether a child is vulnerable to sexual abuse- your daughter has sadly presented the same way as many others (even if this isn’t the case).

Sorry to hear this OP. Having been professionally involved with safeguarding services I think it's unlikely this will be escalated.

I have two autistic DDs and periods can be very difficult for them, especially as your DC is still so young. I completely understand why she refused a swab and it is true that many GPs don't always deal with neurodiverse children in an appropriate way.

I also agree with PP that using sanitary towels or period pants can bring on itchiness and soreness. I used to sometimes get thrush after prolonged use.

It's also not that unusual to have to share a bed with an ND child. I currently have to share a bed with my DD who is older than yours as it is the only way at the moment to alleviate her OCD symptoms. Her therapist is aware and supports it as a strategy while working on her sleep anxiety.

You understand that the Doctor was doing the right thing, however upsetting it is for you. No ten year old would be comfortable about a doctor taking a swab for thrush but there are definitely other things that the doctor is right to be worried about.

On the more practical side, I’ve got two daughters and we never went shopping for first bras as I know they would have absolutely hated it. I just bought a load of options and they chose what they wanted from a selection so maybe you could try something like that next time.

I can recommend the Wilkinson Sword Quattro razor which has a ‘cage’ so it’s a safe option.

https://www.boots.com/wilkinson-sword-intuition-quattro-womens-razor-and-8-blade-refills-10387904

Just a quick suggestion regarding the itching- has she been using sanitary pads? I’m allergic to certain brands, (mainly always), and using them gives me an itching burning sensation where the pad comes into contact with my vulva after I wear them for a while, it feels like my entire private area is on fire. If I persevere with them I end up very red and swollen. I just wondered if the itching that she is describing could be caused by something like this (assuming she has been using pads)?

Reading this made me concerned if I’m honest. I think the GP done the right thing.

Let’s imagine every child who presents in a healthcare setting hysterical got totally dismissed without any investigation. How many would slip through the net?
The GP is doing her job.

I sleep in the same bed as my 11yr old autistic DD, she’s terrified of sleeping alone. Have you ever met an autistic child?! You don’t appear to know anything about neurodivergence in children!