GP raised safeguarding concerns over daughter’s periods, itching and distress at appointment

[MyDearLeader]

DD age 10 under assessment for potential adhd (emotional dysregulation, sensory issues, sleep issues) has been showing signs of puberty for a few years (breast puds, hair etc) she is tall for her age. Anyway.. she started on what I believed to be her period on the 4th of July... we had been preparing for it but she is extremely private e.g when we went shopping for her first bra was extremely embarrassed and upset.. when she asked me to shave her armpits then got upset when I said she couldn't do it herself as needs supervision. She has big meltdowns shouting no no no over and over, i still sleep in her bed as she cannot sleep. Anyway the bleeding was very light lasted only a few days then went, it returned on the 19th unexpectedly.. 4 days very light. Anyway on the 1st it started again but this time heavier and bright red, she has also had intermittent itching on and off relieved by sudocrem. Due to all this I booked a gp appointment 1. To be sure this is actually start of period and not something else.

1. To investigate the itching and see if this was related to the bleeding.

My daughter initially refused to go crying hysterically (she wont even let me tell any family what is happening including her dad) I got her there i asked her should I speak or her she said me.

We saw a female dr, I explained everything she kept asking my daughter questions to which she kept hysterically crying shouting no no no.. the dr told me she was concerned at her distressed reaction I explained her history (which is all documented on her record including a diagnosis of anxiety disorder and camhs involvement) she said she was worried it was a trauma response? I informed her periods have been very much normalised in my house I have endometriosis and that she has emotional regulation problems never mind now with new hormones and she feels embarrassed.. she asked me to step out to talk to her alone, my daughter refused did not want to.. she wanted to swab her vagina.. my daughter went into meltdown screaming no no no, the dr said this was a concern?

She agreed it is likely period and the light bleeding were "test runs" gave me a swab to try at home but blindsided me by saying she has safeguarding concerns!!? I was absolutely blown away, I asked why she said the abnormal bleeding and itching.. said if her swab comes back as having thrush she will be formally reporting it? I said due to sensory issues she vigorously Wipes on repeat and I suffer with thrush frequently could she catch it from me? She said no.

Honestly i feel sick to my stomach. My daughter refused the swab by me and has let me supervise her doing it (very traumatic for her)

I just cannot believe it, i am an nhs professional and feel sick that I might need to report this to my line manager that I am being investigated.. my husband is distraught. I was just trying to ensure my daughter is definitely starting periods as mine did not do this and investigate the itching, she doesnt stay out and I sleep with her every night...

I understand processes need to be followed i am just so upset😥

That is awful, and could put people off seeing a doctor, or at least not new ones.

That was a rather strange comment 😂 I think op might notice if someone else was in the bed

I agree with op the gp sounds very heavy handed with it all

That’s irrelevant though.

Also not the point of the thread but I am allergic to pads and some are so heavily perfumed they feel like they are actually burning me! Could she try the pants or the natural brand pads? (If you’ve not already)

So if OP is SA her daughter like you’re clearly trying to hint, do you really think she would be taking her to a GP to be examined?

A little common sense wouldn’t go amiss.

I can imagine a pubescent ND child who has just started her period and subjected to an intimate medical examination would be distressed. I’m NT and was in pain when I had my smear last week.

It is annoying, but as you did nothing wrong, they will have a chat and leave you alone - don't worry.

I would think very carefully before sharing this at work in case they also raise a referral. I feel extremely sorry for you.

has the gp breached safeguarding themselves by sending you out of the room?

I think you need to think very carefully before getting advice from someone and choose carefully making sure theyre ND aware before you seek support. Is there anyone that knows your family well that you can call on.

some of what she was saying was clearly ridiculous- I can’t imagine that thrush in children is caused by abuse! Thats terrible thing for go to say

Yes, perhaps it is a mild allergic reaction down there. The brands that have cotton or bamboo can be a bit easier on the skin.

I wonder if you can just say your daughter didn’t feel comfortable with swab so you didn’t swab at home! (Then you can worry about thrush further down the line in a week or so).

You sound more concerned about yourself than you do about your daughter’s mental health and distress….

Yes, that’s more usual when dc has autism.

The mistake here was possibly booking an appointment for a fairly mild symptom and to "confirm" whether a period started? Maybe the GP thought that was odd. How can doctors diagnose a period? The obvious thing is to wait a few months and if it happens again, it's clearly a period. Same for itching, wait a few weeks and see if it goes away. Try some different brands of pads or period underwear. None of the symptoms are red flags for anything sinister or life-threatening.

Most girls, ND and NT, would be utterly mortified to have a doctor examine them to confirm their first period. Obviously that's going to entail to some horrible violations of privacy. The daughter here seems very distressed at the whole idea of puberty (bras etc) so getting a doctor to look at her private parts seems like an unnecessarily invasive intervention that would almost certainly lead to a meltdown.

And in OP's own words, she wanted to appointment to see if it's the start of a period or something else. That would have raised massive alarm bells for the medical staff, because at that age, what else could it be?! They may have felt she was opening the way for safeguarding concerns because there are obviously no other explanations for bleeding in a pubescent young girl aside from a period, which is something most families do not make doctors appointments for.

Those are alot of red flags for sexual abuse so the GP would have a duty to report that. It's not the same as 'you being investigated' and you would not need to discuss it with your employer.

Can you imagine what would happen if professionals ignored signs of abuse in a child just because of neurodiversity. It's a group that are more vulnerable to being victims!

The professionals who speak to your daughter will be experienced in this type of thing & will be aware of neurodiversity.

It might open doors to support for both of you.

I Have a disability & also a DA survivor and have had many safeguarding referals for myself & my children. They are just that - Safeguarding & are not judgements or investigations into your parenting.

Oh give over, op is understandably upset that her attempt to help her dd has started such a situation when she knows the behaviour is linked to her DD’s normal - which she’s also concerned about separately.

She’s autistic with anxiety. Another person that clearly doesn’t understand autism, maybe you could team up with the GP

You're very lucky you don't have an ND kid then aren't you ?

Very common with ND children, despite you thinking it is unacceptable.

I had my own bed in my dd's room until she was 12 and she said she'd try and sleep on her own.
For everyone's sanity, sleeping with an ND child isn't something to be concerned about.

We have been through something similar with a social worker rather than a GP who didn’t understand neurodivergence.
Even though thinking rationally I can see the issues that were red flags to the outside world, and yes things needed looking into, but knowing what I know now and how common her behaviour is for other autistic children, I am appalled at how these ‘professionals’ are allowed to practice.
To social services, there was absolutely no other reason for her behaviour other than my neglect. No ASD specialists were consulted.
I still struggle with the trauma of it all 7 years later.

The GP has done the right thing because she has made observations which could be indicators of SA.

The observations could also be indicators of a ND child with sensory issues and anxiety experiencing their first period.

The only thing the GP did that was poor was asking OP to leave the room when the child was so distressed. Because the child was distressed, the GP should have asked for another HCP to attend as chaperone.

Please check her ferritin and iron levels. Low iron and low ferritin can cause a lot if distress for neurodivergent kids. Low iron can cause insomnia and itchiness, also if not enough oxygen us getting carried to the brain that also causes distress. Please check especially ferritin

On a practical note, many brands of pad are perfumed and cause itching and toilet paper imbued with lotions/ aloe vera etc causes discomfort. My autistic DD found periods and puberty highly distressing and went onto a programme of menstrual suppression on the advice of CAMHS. I was told that the level of distress is quite usual with ASD girls. There is absolutely no way that she could tolerate a swab now, never mind at ten.

I know this is very upsetting for you but the GP has got to do their job and unfortunately, some of the symptoms are part of a check-list of concerns that they are trained to act on. I am sure that this will be resolved soon but it’s worth asking for future appointments to be with a GP who has experience with ND girls, if at all possible.

Oh OP, I can understand why this has upset you. It sounds like a really stressful experience and your poor daughter must also be very upset and overwhelmed. I think the GP has done the right thing professionally, as she has a duty to refer any child exhibiting red flag sympoms of abuse. However im sure this will go away as soon as social services have spoken with you. In terms of the itching, I bet this is caused by sanitary pads. Its really hard to find unscented ones in the shops and they always give me thrush within a day of using them! Try to buy some online ie plastic free and scent free, they will he much less irritating.

What about the strange thing GP said about thrush?

plus GP said “If her swab comes back as having thrush she will be formally reporting it”.

sounds like GP handled it quite badly. Is it best practice for GPs to bring up safeguarding concerns with child present?

I get thrush if I use scented sanitary pads, after every period I had it for years until I used unscented, the blood changes your PH as it is and the scented stuff just makes it all worse so please get them if she does have thrush it will help.

I think the gp is just doing their job, it's understandable it isn't nice for you but it's good we investigate when there are signs a dc could be experiencing abuse. They aren't doing anything wrong.