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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jeffacake · 02/12/2018 15:49

You need to just say no. Tell them you were willing to step in at short notice but that then need to make alternative arrangements for the rest of the week.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 15:51

Say absolutely not. Unless the family emergency is absolutely Shakespearean in its tragedy, then the answer has to be no. They are CFs of the highest order.

ItIsChristmasTime · 02/12/2018 15:51

I think it comes down to how good a friend, how much of an emergency they have and how much of an inconvenience it is to you.

DelphiniumBlue · 02/12/2018 15:51

What is the emergency that they both need to be there?

Littlelambpeep · 02/12/2018 15:52

No one of them needs to come home

Acopyofacopy · 02/12/2018 15:53

What? Message them now, kids need to be picked up today or you’ll hand them over to SS!
You have been very kind helping them out over night, but looking after somebody else’s toddlers for a week is taking the mick, emergency or not!

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 15:54

But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week!

Since when did you allow them to become your boss? FFS, grow a spine! 'I'm sorry but we can't do that. One of you needs to come and get them. We cannot keep them for a week. So either one of you comes over here to get them or I'll be heading over to where you are to drop them off, which is it going to be?'

OurMiracle1106 · 02/12/2018 15:54

Message and say “sorry that’s not going to be possible”

FitzChivalryFarseer · 02/12/2018 15:55

What kind of emergency requires both parents away for a week but only 40 miles away. One or other could come back, look after the kids overnight and return during the day.

Cheeky fuckers.

Mumshappy · 02/12/2018 15:56

This is too much to expect of you

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 15:57

I bet they are on holiday!

pinkyredrose · 02/12/2018 15:57

How can they be at school if they're toddlers? Anyway yanbu.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 02/12/2018 15:58

That is ridiculous, they need to come and sort out their children!

Ring them now and say they need to come and collect their children now as it's not possible for you to look after them any longer.

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 15:59

Don't fall for their excuses, either. My guess is they fancy time away. If you're too much of a wet lettuce to be firm with them then get your spouse to do it. But seriously, why are you letting them boss you about and dictate to you?

BeekyChitch · 02/12/2018 16:04

No way - I don't think an emergency requires two grown adults to be there 24/7 when it's only 40 miles away. You helped them out for the first night which was really kind of you but a whole week is unacceptable especially at such short notice.

stayathomer · 02/12/2018 16:07

The only way Id consider it is if it's a child in hospital and they need both parents there, or maybe one has a health issue? Saying that the other could still go backward and forward. A week is ridiculous otherwise

Original poster

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 16:07

The kids are 4 and 5.5. So technically just over toddler age. They are in preschool and kinder. The emergency was that one of the guy’s cousins passed away which is very unfortunate. So they said they have to be there for his wife and kid and the rest of the family to make arrangements.

OP posts:

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 02/12/2018 16:13

Just tell them to come and get their kids.

A cousin dying is not enough of a reason to abandon your children for a week!

Jackshouse · 02/12/2018 16:13

That takes one adult not two. Either one of the adults comes home or they come and collect the kids and take them with them. It’s their choose to make.

Definitely CF and poor children.

Polkadotdelight · 02/12/2018 16:17

That's balls. When FIL passed away we drove up to MIL every morning and back home every night as we had a young DS. It was more than 40 miles.

vixy1988 · 02/12/2018 16:23

No excuses. I moved 55 miles away from my family and friends to live with my husband and since Thursday and up until this Thursday I would have driven up there 4 times (and back) due to Christmas commitments.

They can come back.

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 02/12/2018 16:25

40 miles isn't very far, I'm confused why they can't tag-team, or the guy can't stay and deal with the family emergency whilst the wife parents?

howabout · 02/12/2018 16:26

I would be wondering why the well being of a cousin, supported by other family, was more important to them than their DC. Do you regularly babysit for them already. I don't know any parents who would dump their 4 and 5.5 year old in this way.

Are you able to deliver their DC back to them?

Serialweightwatcher · 02/12/2018 16:27

Very cheeky - not at all fair on you

FishesThatFly · 02/12/2018 16:29

Crock of shite! They have gone away! Tell them that they will be dropped at school in the morning and you won't be collecting them later

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