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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bimbobaggins · 02/12/2018 16:59

If you don’t like being put on the spot just say I’ll need to check and get back to you and then it may be easier to say no

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 17:02

My guess is the cousin doesn't exist and they're on holiday. But hey, looks like the OPs going to let 'em away with it so they chose their mark well.

Calzone · 02/12/2018 17:02

Agree with everyone else.

And they cannot have known they would be away for so long so surely they have been home for clothes and things.

RedSkyLastNight · 02/12/2018 17:02

Leaving aside whether OP is BU (not in my book), unless the DC know her well and are used to being left, aren't they likely to get very upset if they don't see either of their parents for a week. Why aren't their parents remotely bothered about this??

DishingOutDone · 02/12/2018 17:03

Um, yes they can help the cousin's wife etc., but not at the expense of their own children! They don't both have to go; there's something fishy here OP.

bimbobaggins · 02/12/2018 17:06

I have just realised this is posted in childminders as it showed up on trending, are you a childminder op?

Jaxhog · 02/12/2018 17:09

A cousin dying is not enough of a reason to abandon your children for a week!

Quite. Tell them someone needs to come home to look after them, as you can't.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 17:11

sorry doesn take two to console someone for a week its his cousin then she shold come back for her children

BabiesComeWithHats · 02/12/2018 17:14

Mamaryllis that is absolutely the kind of scenario when I would drop everything I could like a hot rock to help a friend with her childcare. It sounds terrifying. I hope your DH pulled through? x

purplecorkheart · 02/12/2018 17:17

Sorry it sounds like they are gone on holiday. I would phone them and tell them they need to return tonight.

Miscible · 02/12/2018 17:18

Have they left enough clothes etc for the week?

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 17:20

Bet they're clinking their glasses together and laughing their arses off at your, OP.

AfterSchoolWorry · 02/12/2018 18:10

Op, don't be gullible.

There's no dead cousin. These people are not friends.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 18:23

I think this is a situation where, if they didn't respond to messages and calls, I'd contact social services.

Jaxhog · 02/12/2018 18:40

they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week

This isn't 'asking' , this is 'telling' and taking the piss, quite frankly.

Original poster

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 18:50

I suppose what happened was I was totally caught by surprise. When she originally dropped off the kids for the night, the cousin was critical and I didn’t mind taking care of them at all. But I thought she would pick them up by Saturday. But the couple dropped by on Friday night and kind of sprung it on us that they would need our help for a few more days. It came as such a surprise, I tried to say we have some plans for the weekend, we’d have to take them along and all of that. But they didn’t seem to get the hint. I thought I was being petty and not being helpful when they needed it. But after reading all of your comments I realize what they asked is highly unusual. The kids know us well and they were upset for the first couple of days but now have adjusted. I finally told the friend that I will drop them to school tomorrow but she’d Have to pick them up because I can’t.

OP posts:

Holidayshopping · 02/12/2018 18:53

Has she responded?

Youmadorwhat · 02/12/2018 18:58

No a cousins passing dies not been they get to abandon their kids for the week. Tell them it really doesn’t suit and one of them will have to return

Youmadorwhat · 02/12/2018 18:58

A cousins passing does not mean *

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 18:59

She was having you on. Twats like this use the element of surprise to get away with their pisstaking. Please do yourself a favour and look online for some ways to become more assertive. The whole 'tried to tell them we had plans but they didn't get the hint' - bullshit, they know exactly what they were doing, they don't give a shit.

TELL the school when you drop them off that you will not be collecting them, their parents have been told to do so and they are not to call you if their parents don't appear, in fact I'd block the school's number.

Don't fall for any bullshit, bogus excuses or guilt trips from the parents. 'I told you I can't keep them any longer. You need to collect them from school tomorrow.'

And that's it.

Original poster

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 19:00

Yes, she did. And asked if I could do it till Tuesday because the services are to be held on tuesday. I know I am being a pushover, but I said yes to taking care of them till Tuesday evening. I don’t care for her but the kids are really sweet and I am telling myself I am doing it for their sake. But after this incident, I realize this whole friendship has been an emotional drain on me right from the start. And I need to figure out a way to cut off.

OP posts:

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:02

She chose you well! Nearly a free week of childcare! Bet she never offers you a bean. What a twat to do this to her kids.

You don't need to figure anything out. After this you just start fobbing her off every time she contacts you.

I'll bet you London to a brick she's been using you for years.

madmum5811 · 02/12/2018 19:02

They managed to get the cousin buried on Tuesday, at this time of year, wow took us three weeks nearly when we lost family in the winter. You are a softie.

Iloveacurry · 02/12/2018 19:03

That’s a bit much. They both don’t need to be with the cousins wife and kids for a whole week. That’s just ridiculous. How can they get the time off work for a week at such short notice? It’s not like it’s immediate family either.

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:04

Exactly, madmum. Bet they've had a lovely long weekend away. And they're laughing at you, OP.

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