Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

[msn1946]

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

Ask which undertakers and crematorium/church they are using ? Then do some detective work.

Irish here and we bury the dead on the third day. So Tuesday funeral would be totally normal here.

I'd be asking why the cousin's parents/partner/children aren't making the arrangements.

Are they sitting shiva?

This is absolutely bonkers. It doesn't take both parents to help with one cousin's funeral. My old commute was 35 miles each way - many people commute much further. It's crazy they're expecting you to do this.

There are numerous religions where services typically happen very quickly, ie within a few days (eg Jewish).

Not that this excuses what sounds like really odd behaviour. I can't imagine ever doing this, or any of my friends or acquaintances ever doing it to me.

can people stop stating as fact that u cant have a funeral in two days when you can

Yes, they do have a tragedy in their family, I know that for a fact. And the services are on Tuesday. That is the truth.

MrMoastyToasty maybe they are too devastated about losing their son/husband/brother so close to christmas?? They seem like a very close, helpful family.

Did the parents return OP? I hope your ok

I had a chat with the mum yesterday morning and let her know that her kids are really missing them and asking for them a lot and all of that. In spite of me saying that, they only came this morning and picked them up. Apparently they were making arrangements for thr services today and hence couldn’t come yesterday! Anyway, what’s done is done. I have learnt my lesson to not say yes next time. Thanks all for the support.

Poor kids. Your an absolute star doing what you did.

Poor kids. Good on you for looking after them but let them parent their kids in future.

That would be a no from me

Poor kids! My FIL died last month. Cannot imagine abandoning my kids at such a time. Please learn to say no to her. She's a real user.

That is an awful lot they've asked of you op. That's breakfasts dress them get them to school. Go and collect them give them tea. Baths? Reassuring them? Bed time. For days on end?

Even if it had been a parent ... one day of them both being away would have been generous of you then they would have had to take turns with their support. People have to take turn and turn about with stuff like this if close relatives are in hospital ext without expecting others to take over parental duties for a whole week.

I hope you next post that they have been around to thank you with flowers, wine and chocolates which would be the least they could do. Better still a voucher for a meal out with babysitting provided. Please keep us posted if this happens ...or if it doesn't.

Was she appreciative?

Did she bring you a present to say thank you?

When they came to pick up the kids for the funeral service, I believe they said thank you to my husband, didn’t say anything to me. But maybe they were too pre-occupied at that time. She later sent me a message saying thank you is not enough for what you did. So that is something, I suppose. I for one am very glad to have my house and my routine back.