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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

OP posts:

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FallenSky · 02/12/2018 16:30

So they are roughly an hour away? My DH travels an hour to work and back each day. There is absolutely no reason why they both need to be there constantly for a week. You need to tell them you were happy to help out for a night but no way can you have their 2 small children for a week!

LizzieBennettDarcy · 02/12/2018 16:32

They're taking the piss out of your kind nature. Text to say "Sorry we've been really happy to help you out under such sad circumstances but something has come up, we need the children collecting by midday tomorrow, we are sure you understand"

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 16:36

If there is a cousin, then I bet their family are pissed off that those two have landed on them for a week.

aModernClassic · 02/12/2018 16:37

WTF? It's only a cousin who has other family members there to help. Tell them now, to come and collect their kids. That's outrageous and takes the CFuckery to another level. If you don't put your foot down, you'll have to do the same for the funeral too. No way.

Mamaryllis · 02/12/2018 16:38

Mm they could probably figure this out. That said, my cm looked after my 15mo for a week when dh got blown up. We were only an hour and a half away but they weren’t sure if he was going to survive - had brain surgery to stop the bleed and was on a neuro unit with no under 12s. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I left her there thinking I was going to collect dh from hospital after getting checked over (after a miscommunication - he’d actually arrived unconscious in a helicopter leaking from a hole in his skull). We were living in a different country so no relatives who could help out.
But two healthy parents and someone else’s bereavement? I think they need to make arrangements to look after their own child.

Holidayshopping · 02/12/2018 16:38

Blimey-what piss takers!

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2018 16:39

That's the lost pathetic excuse ever.

Japonicaisstillahorsygirl · 02/12/2018 16:39

40 miles that’s ridiculous of course one of them can come home

Topseyt · 02/12/2018 16:39

They are taking the piss.

We had the occasional death of a family member when the children were small. One was DH's Dad. I stayed at home with the kids and took them to school etc. DH went on his own to stay with his Mum. We joined them at the weekend and also for the funeral.

Absolutely no need at all for these two cheeky fuckers to both be away for the week. Text them and say that you will drop their kids off at school tomorrow but you will not be picking them up.

titchy · 02/12/2018 16:41

Ffs grow a backbone. 'I'm sorry to hear of your family difficulties but am up able to look after your children any longer. Please arrange to pick them up by 8pm or I will have to ask Social Services to arrange emergency foster care.'

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 16:41

So they said they have to be there for his wife and kid and the rest of the family to make arrangements.

Oh, bullshit! You don't get to abandon your two young kids for that. Are you actually going to tell them NO or just let them get away with CFery? If you dropped them off at school then you've already had them since Thurs.

'Sorry but that won't be possible. You need to come and get them.' 'But we can't.' 'We've had them 4 nights already. You will have to make other arrangements.'

If they pull a stunt where they don't show up, I'd take them to school the next day and tell them 'I will not collect them. I have informed the school that I am not a contact point and am unable to care for them further.'

And then do it or let them rip the piss out of you.

My DD was long-term in hospital one time and I had to go and stay with her in there but DH had to stay home with our son.

Frazzled2207 · 02/12/2018 16:41

Absolutely not on. Maybe one of them needs to be there some of the time but not both of them all week.

SevernWye · 02/12/2018 16:42

If you had them for a night and then took and picked them up from school the next day then this must mean you’ve already had them since Thursday.

As Fishes said, take them to school Monday and inform the parents they will need to pick them up.

Mamaryllis · 02/12/2018 16:42

(I realise that sounds weird - they then air-ambulanced us both to a different city with neuro surgery capability, so I was in a motel next to the hospital with no car, and had to call the cm and say ‘can you keep my kid? They don’t know if he’s going to make it and I’m in x’

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 16:43

That's a totally different scenario, Mamary.

CrabbityRabbit · 02/12/2018 16:45

No way!

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 16:45

Also cannot think of an employer that would allow so much time off for the death of a cousin, which makes me think one of them is still going to work and just want a break from the kids. Well, wouldn't we all? Tough shit.

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2018 16:47

Yes one if them is off work because if the death of thd cousin of a spouse..

ItIsChristmasTime · 02/12/2018 16:47

I would say no to this as well. They are children, not toddlers and much more easily able to be enetertained/distracted so able to be with their parents.

ThanosSavedMe · 02/12/2018 16:50

I also think they’re taking the piss

JaniceBattersby · 02/12/2018 16:54

Yeah I reckon they’ve gone on holiday. Just politely say you can’t do it and they’ll have to make other arrangements.

puppymouse · 02/12/2018 16:56

My commute to work is about that

I think you need to say no.

EdisonLightBulb · 02/12/2018 16:57

I also reckon they have gone on holiday! You mention kinder, are you in Australia?

I'm in the UK and drove 40 miles each way to a shopping outlet today and was back home for 2pm! For an Aussie 40 miles is surely a trip to Coles?

They are taking the absolute

bimbobaggins · 02/12/2018 16:58

It was good of you to help on the first night but there is no need for both parents to be away from their kids for this length of time.
I don’t understand how people end up in this scenario, they are not your boss or parents, people can ask you but you can always say no. I

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 02/12/2018 16:58

A cousin????!!!!!

They're taking the piss.

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