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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Youmadorwhat · 02/12/2018 19:04

MadMum5811 it depends on where she is here in Ireland when someone dies they are buried usually within 3-4 days

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:11

But in England there is no way a funeral would take place so quickly.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:12

Something's going on, OP. There's no way their cousin died. They're on holiday.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:12

Why would both of them be needed, anyway? Have you seen their FB pages?

Jaxhog · 02/12/2018 19:14

Good for you Op!

I suspect you'll also be quietly dropping them as friends too.

Original poster

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 19:16

That’s the thing though. I think if I had asked she would have done it for me. But I have never asked her for anything ever. Whereas even in the past she used to ask me if I can pick up her kids from daycare ( I used to be at work) because of really flimsy reasons( one time because she hadn’t finished shopping for a trip and she was still at the store!!) I always always said no to each of those instances. But since this was an emergency situation, I said yes and this is what happened.

OP posts:

Ginger1982 · 02/12/2018 19:17

Wow...they couldn't come back in between him dying and the funeral? What have they been doing???

sheswhat · 02/12/2018 19:23

He was critical on Friday and his funeral is on Tuesday? In December? Something isn't adding up here.

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:24

What have they been doing???

Having a nice long weekend somewhere and thought they'd squeeze the OP for a little extension on that.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 19:26

as much as i think theyre cf there is certain religions where u get buried within 48 hours my dm died on sunday was buried on tues at this time of year

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 19:27

but i forgot to say they should have come back or one of them could until tues

halfwitpicker · 02/12/2018 19:29

Talk about being a door mat!

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 02/12/2018 19:47

Why don’t you ask her to help out sometimes then? You say she would do it. I don’t get this, I would help out friends in their hour of need and I would seek help in mine. But why bother coming here to complain? I thought that is what friends do?

titchy · 02/12/2018 20:36

Amazing to be able to organise a funeral at the weekend - and to take place within 48 hours....

Calzone · 02/12/2018 20:38

Unless it’s a particular religion, it’s highly doubtful that a funeral could take place this quickly.

I really think you have been duped OP.

Topseyt · 02/12/2018 21:01

I think you have been too soft here. I would have stuck with having said that she would have to collect her own children from school tomorrow.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 21:12

I would do what Topsey says. Tell them they have to pick up from school tomorrow. Tell the school what's happened and say you won't be picking up. If they're abroad, they have less than 24 hours to get back

Borderterrierpuppy · 02/12/2018 21:26

Absolutely no way an unexpected death could possibly happen on a Friday and be buried by then. They are totally taking the piss. I would ask them for details and watch them squirm.

LegoAdventCalendar · 02/12/2018 21:36

There was no postmortem? Yet he took ill and died very suddenly? You can't even register a death at the weekend. They are so full of shit, OP! And then when you told them 'no more' she still didn't respect thta and tried it on for another couple of days. What a user. I'd send her a text and say sorry but your child has become ill and you can't do another 2 days for her. What a cheek!

Mumshappy · 02/12/2018 21:38

Tell her to bring you some duty free perfume back.

LegoAdventCalendar · 02/12/2018 21:41

There's no dead cousin. They have had a nice childfree break with free childcare. I'd actually ring their work tomorrow and ask for them. If you're told they're not there, say, 'Oh, when will he/she be back from holiday?' and see what response you get. Who does this to their kids? What shitty parenting.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 21:50

like i said is possible but if it was suspicious there would be a post mortem

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 22:07

This is really bugging me. OP, you have to do something!

LizzieBennettDarcy · 02/12/2018 22:11

It took 6 weeks to arrange my FILs funeral - it took nearly 2 weeks to get the death certificate from the hospital and register the death, let alone get a crematorium slot.

You've been royally had OP.

rosablue · 02/12/2018 22:14

I’d try and have a snoop on both their Facebook pages to see if any of their other contacts have mentioned anything about a funeral... and maybe put on a quick post to say that their phone wasn’t on but to let them know that the dc were hoping to say goodnight to them but are now asleep so you’re all thinking of them and hope that the funeral arrangements are going well, see on Tuesday but speak to you beforehand.

And have they told the dc or are they keeping it from them so as not to stress them or something similar?

I would definitely try to figure out if the funeral is real - there aren’t that many crematoria near to places that it would take long to track them down as you know the day it is happening. Having had to do some detective work to track down a funeral recently, the people who worked at them weee very helpful so it would be easy to say that you’re looking after the deceased’s cousins dc and what time is the funeral in order to work out the time of the wake and when the dc will be picked up. Perfectly legitimate enquiry.

And any other mutual friends —particularly those wired in to any gossip— to find out if others have also looked after the dc when other cousins have died (!) or can see their location on whatsapp or Facebook or whatever as Barcelona rather than just up the road...

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