Tent shagging etiquette

[Canvas]

Erm, yes. 2 weeks coming up in a tent. DCs in pup tent. Family in tents nearby. Does this mean 2 weeks of celibacy? Even if super quiet, the possibility that my mother in law might hear or even just suspect fills me with horror. What is the etiquette?

I remember my parents coming home from a night out and going at it, in a Eurocamp tent (had "rooms" but all under the same roof)
I had been babysitting but wasn't asleep. I was quite a devout teenager and had my Walkman on. When the squelchy noises started, I turned it up to full volume and can only imagine their dismay when a tinny refrain of "Shine Jesus Shine" blared out through my Sony walkman's earphones.

Scarred for life.

Surely DH's libido is going to take a knock when he realises only a thin bit of canvas is between him and his mother.

You have to send the kids on an errand.
Give them a pile of loose change and send them to the camp shop.

Job done.

I love camping sex.

It's fucking intense.

Polly, lol

Yvaine good one!

Max is right

Just blame any noise on others...

Goodness it was a bit noisy last night - type of comment

Just don't do what a friend once did when he and his then girlfriend nipped into their tent for an afternoon 'nap'. Somehow he was completely oblivious to the fact that his head was touching the wall of the tent and making the whole thing move with every thrust

Camping? In a heat wave? For 2 weeks?!

Don't attempt it in a one man bivouac while everyone else is outside frying their morning bacon.

Arrived yesterday. Quick update. Everyone above was right. It's 40 degrees. Ain't gonna happen. :)

'It's too hard. Celibacy seems much simpler.'

Yes, it will be too hard after two weeks of no shagging.

I shall be having this issue in August but thankfully only 1 week. I have had plenty of tent sex but only in a little 2 man pre dc. Also done the alfresco sex in obliging field near campsite for fear of tent being too obvious. Neglected to remember midges. Dh had circa 200 midge bites on his arse.

Oh god, this has brought back memories of lying in a tent trying to block out the sounds of the couple shagging in the next tent. You could hear everything. They weren't being particularly loud - no gasping or grunting - but oh, dear god. The squelching noises. The slapping sounds. It was excruciating.