Tent shagging etiquette

[Canvas]

Erm, yes. 2 weeks coming up in a tent. DCs in pup tent. Family in tents nearby. Does this mean 2 weeks of celibacy? Even if super quiet, the possibility that my mother in law might hear or even just suspect fills me with horror. What is the etiquette?

I've been camping for two nights during a heatwave in Spain. It was horrendous. The tent heats up like an oven first thing in the morning and you're up from the crack of dawn as it's so hot. Then there's the mossies at night. I couldn't do two weeks of it. It will probably kill your sex drive though.

I've stayed in "motels" (hotels by-the-hour) in Brazil - both as a shower & sleep stop while travelling, and for the intended purpose. Some of them are insane, with red satin everywhere and non-stop porn on the TV. Others are more normal I've always been surprised you don't see them in Europe. Looks like they'd do a lively trade near camp-sites!

Yeah, see I like camping. But having done it weeks at a time I'll only do weekends now... Your DH is right, it is cosy, when you're in England and it's raining. I'm afraid camping abroad means hotter than hell tent from the second dawn breaks so definitely no sneaking back to the tent for 'a nap'...

Quietly. Never had a problem dd2 is a result and on that one we had other people in the other pods

One word of warning about early morning shags. Freinds where getting at it they thought quietly whilst others where sleeping by the round of applause from the tents near suggested otherwise.

We're also camping for two weeks, with friends, so reading in interest. I'm loving the shower block suggestion, although I think the stool we would have to take to account for the height difference would lead to questions.

The PP who was scarred at a festival years ago. If it was T in the Park circa 2003 I'm sorry.

Dh and I arrived mid afternoon,pitched our tents and being the excitable 18 years olds we were,all hopped up on warm cans of tenants, got busy. It was only as we were walking around the campsite a few hours later and saw the shadows of people in their tents that we realised what we'd done.

This thread has entertained me but has confirmed my belief that camping is far worse than staying at home and not having a "holiday". Canvas will you have wifi? I am looking forward to hearing your daily updates.

Yes to wifi, but no idea if that means from the tent or hanging around some kind of ping pong bar...

I wouldn't do it. Never do it if we stay over at PIL which rarely happens now we've had tonnes of kids .

But yes, book a pitch a few hundred metres away.

It could be worse.

You might hear your MIL getting it on....

prof wins the thread!

Experienced camper here.... hat hanging on tent equals sexy tent. Drink lots and you'll not worry about who hears. If anyone complains explain that you wanted to be at one with nature.

Can't you go two weeks without?
Or have I just been married too long....

I'm going to be keeping an eye out for hat-wearing tents now.

demented that is the current plan (not yet made DH aware of said plan).

Now I am feeling a bit nostalgic for our 3+week trips when the children were small.

Big tent - DC at one end, "lounge" in middle, DH and I in double sleeping bag on double airbed at the other end. Friends for DC to play with during the day. No PIL.

You absolutely MUST use condoms.
End of.
Prevents so much mess and clear up.

Regarding times of day... I can't help. Only tent shagging DH and I enjoy is at festivals. And it's not really an issue. Thank Christ!!!

I am totally with you however OP. I am paranoid about MIL/FIL or even my own parent suspecting that DH and I are DTD. They know we do, I'm pregnant ffs!!!

This thread is SO FUNNY! Am laughing so much I'm crying. I want to send it to my friend - how do I do that from my iPhone?

Is this thread reminding anyone else of Julia Davis in the bleakly funny Camping that was on recently? The campsite owner would put anyone off sex and canvas.

As someone of Granny age - I'd make sure that you & your DP had plenty of 'quality' time & would arrange 'exciting' adventures for the DCs to which parents were not invited.!

Might your DP be able to 'have a word' with the other adult males? I have no doubt that they're in the same position of being in danger of a nookie-free holiday. You can guarantee that they will be having similar concerns from their partners(!))
You could have a kind of 'rota' for organising expeditions involving the whole camp but leaving a 'nominated' couple behind for some 'private time'.

You could develop a 'headache' which means everyone has to leave the camp so you can have peace & quiet. Naturally your DP would need to stay behind to tend to you.
Personally, I've found the whole idea of 'doing it' with only a covering of canvass between me & total exposure kills any desire. I think that's why DH & me only went camping the once! LOL!
Good luck - hope you have a good time.

The prospect of DH asking his dad for stealth shagging tips is somewhere between hilarious and frightening.

This reminds me of a suggested holiday from my parents. I know I can be quiet if required but know dear mother can't!!! Lets just say we made our excuses. Hope you find solutions and you must let us all know how it goes.

Shagging rota suggested above is just not going to happen.