Tent shagging etiquette

[Canvas]

Erm, yes. 2 weeks coming up in a tent. DCs in pup tent. Family in tents nearby. Does this mean 2 weeks of celibacy? Even if super quiet, the possibility that my mother in law might hear or even just suspect fills me with horror. What is the etiquette?

Haha not a chance you'll want a shag! You'll both be too smelly, cross, back achey and stinky. Not something you'll need to worry about, trust me!!

Will it be that bad? DH has been telling me how nice and cosy the tent will be...

I'm sure I've seen ads for (ahem) day hotels recently.... Just think, an afternoon in bed, privacy, nice private bathroom, carpets, privacy, room service, minibar (or at least a tea/coffee tray) privacy....
Think they might only be in cities though , unless you're near a large town or city and can go off 'shopping ' for the afternoon?

Two weeks in a tent nice and cosy, mmmm your see OP

I wish you luck

If cosy = " intensely hot, cramped, uncomfy (unless pissed) and blinding bright at break of dawn" then yep, you're good to go.

(Disclaimer; I do like camping. But there is a reason (many) I only do 2 nights on the trot.)

www.between9and5.com

THIS is why I refuse to camp.

What kind of holiday is it where sex is difficult/impossible?

Spain. And 'day hotel' = understaffed brothel, surely.

There is a pool

Based on the fact that you have kids you do realise that your MIL already knows that you have sex and on that basis I think you should just ask her to take the kids for a walk as you and your DH fancy a quick nap

Problem solved.

I fully expect she assumes we have had sex twice, just like the kids.

The pool, by the way, I mean for actual swimming and keeping cool. Not conjugal visits.

Well, needs must etc
This one is 4-star, apparently, and $60 , (basically euros), for the day....

I mean just like the kids assume

Two weeks camping in a heat wave bloody hell woman are you a sadist? Tell MiL dp can hear a funny knocking noise in the car that needs looking at and go into town and find a travel lodge and book a room for a few hours.

Sorry, forgot link
www.between9and5.com/en/h2276/day_rooms_BAH_Barcelona_Airport_Hotel/

Gah!

Zip your sleeping bags together.
Go at it like rabbits.
Everyone ignores each other next morning and acts like nothing happened.
Repeat ad infinium.

Worked for two summers in a campsite in France when I was a student. Judging by the amount of condoms I cleaned up in the shower blocks I say it is common practice to have sex in the showers. That was my 5am shift - lovely! The best advise I can give you is wait until someone else is bonking, join in and then blame it on the noise from a tent further away! You can always hear someone at it. Either that or drunken people carrying on but then it sometimes hard to concentrate on your own business IYSWIM!

Buy a double sleeping bag. No PIV. Just do Other Stuff. Or you know, don't. Two weeks with minimal sex time isn't going to be the end of the world. You will all likely be worn out/sure burnt/heatstroke/a bit whiffy anyways.

Or go for a nice long hike in a secluded area.

Go into nearby bushes.

Apparently after hearing about this subject on a facebook camping group quite a few people have heard people having sex.So its the kind of thing you do if you have no shame

Another thing to add in the uk in regards to the law its a grey area but its illegal to have sex in a tent but only if it can be seen or heard.Sounds very romantic lol

personally my guy and i will be cuddling nothing more on our camping trip lol i think i would die of shame if someone heard