The teacher pushed my child

[NaziaN]

Hi, a teacher used abusive language and then pushed my child out of her classroom in front of my daughter’s friends. My daughter then argued with the teacher for pushing her. My daughter is now suspended from school because the head teacher did not believe her or her 2 friends. The school cameras cover outside the classroom but not inside the classroom. I have contacted the police and they said that they will visit me in 2 days. My daughter has been upset and been crying ever since, because it was her last day in year 8 in school and they were going to have a party. I feel that the staff at school are covering for the teacher’s behaviour to make they school not look bad.
Im just confused, how school has been very unfair with my child.

Your dd hasn't been suspended for nothing. I think you've omitted a massive part of the story! What was your dd doing before being pushed/ushered out of the classroom?

The teacher should not have touched your child unless your child was doing something dangerous.

It's hard to know what happened isn't it?

You don't know that the staff of the school are covering for the teacher because they don't want the school to look bad. That's a conclusion you have come to.

Has anyone in the school met with you to go through what happened?

A teacher wont walk up to a child swear and push them.

There is a huge chunk on this story missing.

Why was your daughter with friends in an emoty classroom?
What were they doing?
What did your daughter say?
was she asked to leave the classroom?
Why Didnt she?
Was she doing or trying to do something dangerous?

Hmm.. I’m finding this version of events hard to believe. Children lie.

I would love to hear the other side of this.

This didn't happen out of the blue. Would make sense to support the school and get your daughter to improve her behaviour.

teachers dont randomly eject children from classrooms. Each school will have a procedure to follow to get a child out. Whatever lead up to your daughter being removed would have most likely satisfied the conditions for child removal from room.

I think you are wasting police time. I hope you get charged for it.

Was your daughter actually hurt? I feel like there is a massive part of the story missing, and I would not believe your daughter’s version of events. Going to the police seems a bit of an overreaction.

Yes what was your daughter doing to have to be removed from a lesson? You didn’t mention that very significant detail.

Yeah, this isn't the whole story, she needs to be honest with you.

I work in a school, I see children doing something wrong, I pull them up on it. They deny it, despite me seeing it with my own eyes and usually hearing it too 🙄
It is very rare you get one that just says "sorry miss" so I also discuss the merits if that approach. They love me 🤣

Obviously if a teacher really did push your child that would be terrible.

However, as a teacher I urge you to consider that your daughter and her friends have concocted this story between them. I have been on the relieving end of malicious accusations before and thankfully the cctv has proven what really happened was the student barged into me as I was rapidly stepping backwards to avoid contact. Even with cctv evidence the child in question continued with her very convincing story, although her friends did admit to the lie.

Even the nicest kids can back themselves into a corner and then not have the maturity to admit they were wrong.

What's exactly happened?

What happened before?

Also why did your dd 'argued with the teacher for pushing he'? That's not normal behaviour for a 'good student'.

No good student arguses with their teacher. Sounds like your dd has misbehaved and is now crying crocodile tears. Also, your re wasting police time.

Tell your dd not to argue with teachers, job, done.

So that's your child's account of what happened.

What's the school's account?

No teacher wants to sanction a student. We are too busy and it causes us more work.

You don’t go from ‘following instructions/doing school work to being asked to leave the classroom.

Your daughter is crying because she feels some sense of social shame and is blaming the teacher.

You will have a better time at her next school if you stop ‘blaming’ the school, teachers and/or the unfairness of having to follow or conform to school rules.

Right now you should be punishing her for her behaviour and getting her to take responsibility it by writing an apology.

If the teacher pushed your daughter you should be asking what had my daughter been doing to push a professional educator that far?

I highly doubt that a teacher pushed her. It's more likely that she shepherded her out of the room and her friends concocted the story.

The number of times I head "she pushed me" and witness no teacher touching anyone.

Your daughter was obviously playing up to have been removed from the class. If mine had come home and told me that I would give her another push tbh and told her to stop misbehaving at school but that would be classed at abuse these days. Exactly how we are where we are and kids have no respect for anyone or anything. By the way calling the police is utterly ridiculous I'm sure she's not hurt and quite pleased with herself and the circus she's made.

It's going to be hard to get to the bottom of it but presumably there is some of the incident on cctv. I'm wondering if the part that could be seen did not tally with what your daughter said.

Yesterday one of my class took the one ball we have out at playtime and carried it around with him. This was incredibly frustrating for the ten or so children who had been playing with the ball when he lifted it up. He would not play with it himself other than carrying it and he would not let the other children have it either so I bopped it volleyball style.

He was absolutely furious. 'You have snatched the ball. Grown ups shouldn't take things from kids. I was playing with it' etc. I was thinking that if anyone complained about this I probably wouldn't have a leg to stand on. That's the situation we are in now working in schools. Children who have been brought up to believe that they should have their own way absolutely all of the time and parents who will back them as they are the ones who make them think this.

If she was "pushed out of the classroom" the corridor cameras would have caught this violent expulsion. Surely.

Also: the police are coming round in 2 days? What did they say?

My friend ruined my dinner party. He was being disrespectful, wouldn't sit down or eat the food and was ruining it for the other guests. Eventually I asked him to leave and he carried on smirking and saying "what? What?!" Like he hadn't done anything wrong. I saw red I am afraid, called him a name, and gently pushed him on the shoulder to steer him out of my house. At that point he tried to DARVO me and make out that me pushing him was an assault, as if he hadn't been doing anything inappropriate beforehand that caused the situation. Then he said he'd make sure I lost my job and that he would get the police on to me.

Do I deserve to lose my job or have the police called on me? Was it really me that was worst in this situation? I know I should have kept my temper but I am on my knees with tiredness and about to go on my holiday and probably not quite as resilient as usual....

Is there any history of previous behavioural issues with your dd at school or has she been a good student with no blemishes? If the latter then the teacher’s actions do seem questionable, if the former then I think a fuller picture is needed.

Well done for doing that. And if my child done that I would have thanked you for it. Kids have a massive sense of self importance these days because their parents instill it in them. It's ugly sometimes. I don't know how teachers dont lose the plot on a daily basis The biggest problem is the parents.

Are you going to tell us the rest of the story?

What were the events surrounding the alleged pushing? What do you mean by abusive language? Is this the first time that your daughter has been in trouble at school? Was it an actual push or a hand on the shoulder to guide her out of the classroom?

I work with teenagers and am careful not to touch them other than the odd fistbump. But occasionally I've had to put a guiding hand on their shoulder to usher them away from a situation or stop them from bumping into someone etc.

What was your DD doing before being asked to leave the classroom? And i bet my house, unless she was doing something dangerous, she was asked to leave before being removed. Was she disrupting the class or was she hurting another child?