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Due April 2009: Episode 17 - We're off of work and ready to push, time for DH's to attend to that bush!!

1007 replies

BabyBolat · 04/03/2009 16:06

Inspired by our Smutty x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:51

hooray lol tell him to keep it up for a little while at least xx

BoffinMum · 06/03/2009 15:52

Oh Nutty that is truly excellent. I shall boom into the phone.

Re: DH's, I have to say mine is brill but he does scurry a bit too much for my liking, getting tea for mws and so on, and doing the mein host thing too much, just like when we have a party. I have got him working on the hypnobirthing scripts this time instead, and told him not to scurry so much. It will be interesting to see what happens.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:53

now, i dont quite know how that would work......... surely a nostril is too small

SpringySunshine · 06/03/2009 15:53

I like the word 'scurry' applied to a grown man

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 15:54

Great! I had wiped that image from my brain, and not its back!

SpringySunshine · 06/03/2009 15:54

Perhaps if it was Daniella Westbrook?

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:54

Boffin boom away

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 15:55

What is 'essential' in a nappy bag?

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:55

ROFL springy hahahahaha you are BAD hahahaha it would work then though

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:56

Bleu - a nappy filled with poo

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 15:58

Hmm where do you find one of those
? Boots I suppose too?

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:58

maybe you just have to ejaculate into the nostril for it to constitute as nostril rape??

Boffin what do you think?

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 15:58

I see my distraction did not work... sigh

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 15:59

on your baby's bum post poo generally

SpringySunshine · 06/03/2009 16:03

DH is trying to piss me off by putting a Welsh channel on the television?! He's just sitting there staring at it, as if it's totally normal. Isn't that the most hilariously childish & pointless thing you've ever heard? I'm just pretending that everyone's a member of Nutty's family & therefore enjoying it way more than he can be

& I don't suppose that ejaculation would be necessary. I bet if you did, it'd trickle down the back of your throat, though - no choice but to swallow!

& Bleu, I don't really know about nappy bags & stuff. I'm a total ignoramus about baby things & am intending to completely fluke my way through the first few weeks.

Juwesm · 06/03/2009 16:03

Nope, sorry, rape is definitely with a penis. Without it is...something else, cannot remember. DH was teaching it all to me.

Hmmm. That is not very entertaining or smutty. Bit serious really.

WILLIES!!!!!

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 16:03

Babies Poo?!?

Bleuravin · 06/03/2009 16:05

DH was teaching you about Rape?! Not sure I'd like to be you Ju...like something out of the horror novel...

Juwesm · 06/03/2009 16:07

Only the legalities thereof! For example, a woman CANNOT rape a man, because it doesn't involve said penis. Though it clearly does, if you think about it. Anyway, is a different offence.

SpringySunshine · 06/03/2009 16:08

It was probably the lesson on contraception that led to us ever meeting Ju

SpringySunshine · 06/03/2009 16:09

What about date rape? I'm sure you could date rape a man, never mind any of the other grey areas...?

Juwesm · 06/03/2009 16:09

"This is how not to do it...."

Carameli · 06/03/2009 16:10

just read what Boffin has said about undercarriages, agree with everything there. There is NO way I will be using moist toilet wipes. A spray bottle or used a jug at home.

I also took loads of shallow salt baths with tea tree and lavender oil and it really helped things heal and made me feel more human doing this.
I have the helios childbirth kit which has a load of homeopathic remedies that really helped me after ds. Never knew anything about them with dd. I have re-stocked to make sure I have lots of afterwards. They are just little tablets you slip under your tongue. I know some people thing the whole homeopathy thing is just silly but quite a few of these really seemed to help me so I am going to beleive in them again whether its the tablets or them just convincing my brain I feel better, who know but it works for me.

With regards nappy bag---I always keep one of those little bottles of hand anti-bac gel in there, so that if I am not near a proper changing facility(i.e out in the park/woods) my hands can still feel nice afterwards.)
Waitrose bottom butter--fab stuff!!

Juwesm · 06/03/2009 16:10

No, it would be 'Date Something', not rape. Clearly I am not a good learner.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 06/03/2009 16:11

just date shagging i guess

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