October Babies #2 - midwife appointments and "scanxiety"

[TinySalmon]

Last thread was filling up so I thought I'd start a new one

Link to Thread #1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2832732-October-2017-come-one-come-all?

Current October babies list:

Puttingourhoodupdown – EDD 23rd September. Team yellow
Piraterach – EDD 27th September. Team yellow
NotMyPenguin – EDD 27th September. Team yellow
mandScookiesrule – EDD 29th September. Team yellow
jeneral – EDD 29TH September. Team yellow
Presh88 - EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Mulberry2627 – EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Dinosaurkisses – EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Stickaforkinimdone EDD - 1st October. Team yellow
Emmaluggs – EDD 1st October. Team yellow
MrsMcKeon – EDD 1st October. Team yellow
Hannahjoshaw – EDD 2nd October. Team yellow
Sbs6jb1 – EDD 2nd October. Team yellow
Addtothechaos – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
Sj3rram – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
Mummabubs – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
10storeyloveson – EDD 4th October. Team yellow
Cineraria – EDD 4th October. Team yellow
gimbleInTheWabe – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
NannyOggsKnickers – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Emberblu – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Hometownunicorn – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Bubbles – EDD 6th October. Team yellow
Wapsmahoney – EDD 6th October. Team yellow
Powerpuff – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Rainingcats – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
BrioLover – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Tammie49 – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Conkerchops – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Krakentoast – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Rosalyn44 – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Trytowin – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
CarpeDiem83 – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Whyarealltheusernamestaken – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Kirsty8333 – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
HollyMay84 – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
Chintaria – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
DancingUnicorn – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
MerlinsBeard87 – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
EmmaGarrick – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
Cath1212 – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
Greentreeseverywhere – EDD 12th October. Team yellow
Wishmeluck16 – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Starfish83 – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
Pollybythesea – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
MrsCharlieD – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Zookeeper73 – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Loopyaboutmy2boys – ELCS 13th October. Team yellow
Babycarmen – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
Asilikeit – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
JackiePaper – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
TippetyTapWriter - EDD 15th October. Team yellow
ALRM – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
Fingerscrossed – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
Anotherminime – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
DaisyFranceLynch – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
TequilaSetAWatchman – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
Doomkittycleo – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
Orifu – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Walikingdeadfan – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Ppleasebob – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Boxesoffrogs – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Yellowstarred – EDD 18th October. Team Yellow
DrunkenFlamingo – EDD 18th October. Team yellow
TinySalmon – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Lovechild2016 – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Abcdemma – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Emjmoore – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Iemma321q – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Luna4689 – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Rachieg88 – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
SophieGiroux – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
Amyappletree – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
UndersecretaryofWhimsy – EDD 21st October. Team yellow
SeatOfMyPants – EDD 21st October. Team yellow
Glitterbubble – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Charmanar – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Mishmishmish – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Emwithme – EDD 23rd October. Team yellow
DrMum83 – EDD 23rd October. Team yellow
PlayOnWurtz – EDD 24th October. Team yellow
JanuaryJuniper –EDD 25th October. Team yellow
Shinysparklythings – EDD 28th October. Team yellow
DebsOctBaby – EDD 28th October. Team yellow
88claire – EDD 29th October. Team yellow
Calmisthemantra – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Miwelaisjacydo – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Donkey86 - EDD TBC. Team yellow
Dinosaursparklepup – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Chlo22 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Thepotatoesofdefiance – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Han1984 –EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rosiehukk4 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Sapphire1983 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Peabody81 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Greentreeseverywhere – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Twinklelittlestar1 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rayna – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Firsttimenearcarrier2015 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Allykatz – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Punkpuffin – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Otter16 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Reddy4no2 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Fairraid – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Missm0use – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Xxmissbrightsidexx –EDD TBC. Team yellow
Confusedat23 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rufus200 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
FluttershyStare – EDD TBC. Team yellow

Confused when I self referred, she told me it could take up to two weeks to receive my appointments.... they came through much sooner than that, but she said to call back if I hadn't received them within that time, maybe worth a call? Xx

I self referred before I changed counties confused. I referred 3 weeks ago and had a phone call 2 days ago. I'd leave it a few weeks before you follow up. Since changing counties it works differently but I'd definitely have been pulling my hair out had I not changed and had been waiting to hear from them before anything got moving so I understand the wait is horrible!

Ha yes or twins Tippity!!!

confused yup I was suspected to have ectopic this pregnancy and have had two early scans because of it. Doctors are on high alert for things like that, I certainly didn't have classic ectopic symptoms but it was still taken seriously. I had passing out level of pain. All is fine. A quick google of ectopic symptoms will help anyone who is concerned and if you are genuinely concerned after that then it's an emergency call. I agree.
There are a lot of people on this thread absolutely crippled with worry over every detail of pregnancy and all I'm trying to say is- it's sore, some days your boobs don't hurt or you're not sick, its very usual and try (easier said than done) to relax when you can.

leanne I hope you see a lovely doctor for reassurance tomorrow , they will scan there and then or book you in for one soon if they are at all concerned.

With respect moomin some of us are worried because we have a history of miscarriages or have health issues such as anxiety that make it hard to relax and let the normal effects of early pregnancy roll over you.

None of what I said relates to that at all.
Right, I don't want to be on an argumentative forum play so I will bow out and leave you to it.

that's why I really like this place, that we have somewhere to post our worries and anxieties even if they seem a little silly

Scan was all good, sac looks a good size and normal shape, on the front wall so will be a posterior placenta, fetal pole, right size for dates and a very visible heartbeat. So I'm more pregnant today than any of my 12 losses. Back again in 2 weeks for another reassurance scan and then will be back for the 12 week scan if all is still good.

I guess it depends where you're self referring to confused! Once I completed my fork it said to contact them if I'd not heard anything within 5 working days. I did, and was given a scan date in the email reply, but they were still deciding what midwife service to allocate me to. I think scan info came after about a week and a half and booking info after two and a half. I'd probably call/email, but I guess it depends what you were told! :)

Wonderful news loopy!! :)

Brilliant Loopy

Fantastic news loopy

Moomin, I completely agree with you - we are all worried, of course, but we can't change anything and symptoms are different for everyone and change all the time so it is hard to compare, although we obviously get reassurance from doing so. My Mum said pregnancy is designed to make us worry as we will worry for the rest of our lives now we are Mothers - we just need to accept it and not let it stress us out too much. I wholeheartedly agree.

Fabulous news Loopy, I'm really pleased for you!

Great news, Loopy! 😀 xx

Yay! So happy for you Loopy! 🎈

Personally I also agree with you Moomin (I really hope you haven't left the thread). Having had to go to EPU myself I really do understand that the first 12 weeks can be an anxiety-provoking time. However everyone's pregnancy experience is unique so personally I feel that comparing mine with others, I.e which symptoms are or aren't there isn't helpful. When I was bleeding I told myself that anxiety wouldn't be helpful- after all I'd either be worrying unnecessarily or if it was bad news then worrying beforehand wouldn't change the outcome. But then I also appreciate for others comparing symptoms and publicising anxieties does provide some comfort. (I'm terrible for fence-sitting in case you can't tell!) 😊

Hi All.

Had my booking in appointment with the midwife this morning. I knew we had a lot to go through but I didn't realise it would take so long! Over an hour in total. Towards the end she said if I decided for any reason to deliver at a different hospital I would need to go through the whole thing again... I did think oh gosh at that point as we are considering moving across the country to be nearer family if my husband can get a suitable job. But I'll cross that bridge if/ when I come to it.

Embarrassingly I went all faint when she took my blood samples... I've always been a bit squeamish about bloods being taken but always got through it without issue before. She didn't manage to get enough from the first arm and had to go in again, and while she went to get another needle I went very dizzy and had to lie down . She was very nice about it though.

Also called the hospital and got my scan date through for 3 April... seems a long time away still. Considering booking in for an earlier scan privately to get a bit of reassurance earlier, but will see what DH thinks.

Has anyone else been feeling like it isn't really happening? I know academically there will hopefully be a baby in October, but I still feel quite detached from the whole thing, which is a bit troubling. The midwife said it's a quite normal self preservation thing at this point, but if I'm still feeling that way around 20 weeks I should let her know. I'm also quietly terrified that I'll be a terrible mum, as I have almost no experience with small children.

Fantastic news loopy

Tequila i feel the same, not much experience with babies/ small children and also feel like nothing is happening at the moment. I'm wondering what if I don't know what to do also, but I'm not worrying about it too much, I'm sure after 12 weeks out google searching will eventually move on to parenting and the best products etc, I'll worry at a later date hahah xx

Tequila don't worry, I pulled a full-on whitey when I had my bloods taken at my booking-in appointment last time. I never enjoy having it done but am usually OK, but while pregnant I had to have all of my samples taken lying down if I was not to pass out/throw up. Remember your blood pressure will be up, your hormones are haywire, it makes it all different!

Congratulations loopy, really happy for you!!

My early scan is on Monday when I will be 7+2 by dates but I reckon more like 7+0 in reality - I'm not sure exactly when I ovulated but I think it was a day or two later than day 14. I'm trucking on - 7 weeks is a bit of a milestone for me as I started miscarrying at 7 weeks precisely when I had my loss. I'm cautiously optimistic though as signs seem to indicate things are still happening.

Here's my piece. I think there will be a mix of women here, anxious newbies, old hats, many MCs, grieving mums, IVF joy after so many tries, and also those with anxiety, depression and other MH issues to contend with.

I'm just trying to be the level headed optimist, it may be helpful for the newbie to share niggles(I definitely needed to first time and still do this time!) but there needs to be a counter balance. It's a shame for new mums, who may have no reason for concern, to only hear the bad. It gives a skewed reality. Which, through a series of events I've seen happen, could genuinely lead to an overly medicalised pregnancy and unnecessary intervention. I'm not saying they shouldn't hear about the bad times! I'm not saying this shouldn't be a safe space for anyone, to share anything! but I think people like me, representing the "it'll probably be alright" and "give yourself a break" camps, should be allowed a voice too, that's actually just as valid.

Another reason for being quick to want to bow out is that I've discovered that on current MN birth boards and in a friend's MN birth board turned fb group there was an imposter. (I suspect a sad tale of MH problems and grieving a baby rather than malicious troll. It has been reported to MN, but they don't know how many usernames she (or he I suppose) is using and are investigating . But it's given me pause for thought)
While I'm here many congrats loopy! tequila I'm sure you will be a great mum, and I had the self preservation thing too especially this time round, I'm starting to get a bit excited and enjoy it now at 9+6 for me - What will be will be! Your own child is different anyway whether you're experienced with kids or not! Motherhood is something else entirely that nobody is really more prepared for than anyone else.

Tequila I remember feeling similar in my first pregnancy re worrying about being a terrible mum and feeling detached. I felt fairly detached all the way through to be honest, just found it hard to connect the knowledge I was pregnant to the reality of a small baby. Actually even the second time I couldn't really connect the thought of what my body was going through with the reality of a brand new person, I just couldn't imagine what he would be like I suppose, am similarly detached (or in denial) so far this time. It has always been fine as soon as I have the baby in my arms though and I've not had problems connecting with them at all. I think it's pretty normal, especially for a first pregnancy. As for being a terrible mum, even if you had spent lots of time with children it wouldn't be the same as parenting your own, we're all learning as we go and you'll be just fine!

Moomin I am sad you are leaving. I have had a full-term neonatal death after a textbook pregnancy, and since then have had three chemicals and a miscarriage. And I've done 10 cycles of IVF. So believe me, I understand and sympathise with anxiety and fear on a deep level.

But I am also fundamentally an optimist. Hope is a beautiful thing, and for the vast majority of women, everything will be fine - although of course it's important and healthy to be alert for danger. I am sad that you're leaving the thread as you were really a wonderful presence on here.

Lovely news loopy. So happy for you! :-)

PS I had basically spent no time with babies and small children ever before I had mine. I took to it fine and so will you :)

Moomin FWIW I value(d) your contribution. There are some symptoms which should definitely be investigated and I think people would always be supported in that, but there is also always something weird happening to your body when pregnant and I think it's fair to point out that there is a cost to seeking reassurance and monitoring on every one, both in terms of the actual, literal cost to the health service, and the cost in terms of stress and mental health.

It's OK moomin I hear you loud and clear you don't want us negative old farts on here clouding the happy so I'll duck out of here. Good luck with your pregnancies ladies

Nooooo nobody leave. There's room for us all.