Summer, summer, summer PESH: Get in your birthing pools, it's going to be a hot one

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Casserole, girl born 19th March
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Scorpette, boy, born 21st May.
Rocketleaf, girl, born 23rd May.

UPDIFFED

Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.

Muse is not alone in her experience - if having Thai food made for you inspires Teh Secks, please make sure your lurve-mekkin' partner has washed their hands thoroughly

Talking of sweet monkey-luvvin', I was totally with you, Loz. Sex to bring on labour, HA! In fact, sex at all, ever again, HA!

Mr T met my Gran and Aunt today. It was love at first sight for them all. Hilariously, Mr T tried to root at my Gran's breast, which made us all laugh ('Can he have powdered milk?' she quipped)... but not as much as we laughed at him doing the world's most heinous crap whilst Aunt was cuddling him. Luckily, she was wearing brown trousers

Score. Given that you've ignored my desperate stalky messaging elsewhere, I feels ya re donner kebab legs... I was much the same after birth...I had beautifully well turned legs prior to birth (caveat: for my age and weight :) ) but had two shiney white column of wax for at least a week after. This also goes for my head, though no one, including boyf and best friend saw fit to warn me before I saw for myself...yikes..post birth pics do NOT. match your gorgeous smug mum pics!

Hello to everyone else, and special snogs, slap and chinese burns to beshtastic Lozza ( who I am also secretly stalking).

Lorry, don't think I have forgtten you because I haven't

Hey you PESHEs, I am pissed. I may not be pregnant but I a,m drunk!!

Rie drunk is good. Vay good. I seriously wish I could join you. Hope your head isn't too bad this morning.

Thanks for chilli-burn-fango tales, have made me laugh. Also your Gran & Aunt sound fab Scorps.

So, seems like I'll be getting me rat out this afternoon for a MW rummage. 101 better things to do on a sunny Monday afternoon! Will do my best to provide some entertainment soon......

laurie I suggest you go out and get pissed - if anyone takes issue with this simply respond with "no, I'm not pregnant, my baybee was due last week".

Good luck Laurielou. Fingers crossed that sweep will be all the help you need to get going.

Have PMed you Orcs, after sending strange coded message to your namesake on FB, who is probably wondering who all these nutters are.

Good luck for the rummaging loz, hope she takes you out for dinner first

Upside down ladies (yes you Foxy Milano GG and boots) I am vay keen on starting some kind of entertainment troupe involving glittery spandex. We have missed Britain's got talent but I am sure we will fulfill a niche in the showbiz market and make our fortunes.

score your inlaws are truly reptillian. What is that religion where followers believe that people are really lizards? Is it scientology or zoroastrianism? Can't remember and always thought was silly but on hearing about your stone hearted ILs I am coming round to their way of thinking.

The stretch marks have got me. I knew they bloody would in the end. Oh well, it's because I have grown such an enormous baybee and so they are to be celebrated.

MORNING arial excuse me while I clatter these pans and drop cutlery into the drawer from a great height one item at a time.

Very much agree with skis suggestion about getting pissed btw loz, you can probably smoke now too!

Happy non vom truffle, what's for breakfast?

Was David Icke who believed in lizard people, and possibly still does. Sorry to scientologists and zoroastrians!

Lozza a good old rummage is surely something to look forward to on a lovely Monday afternoon . Maybe use it as an excuse to treat yourself to coffee and cake afterwards? When I was having my investigations for foof issues, I found a choccie bar and a coffee afterwards went some way to making up for the indecency of it all.

Rie how's the head?

In my news, I am currently mourning the loss of two very important things a) Mini O's afternoon nap and b) the ability to cough or sneeze without wetting myself . My hayfever kicked in over the weekend and I can cannot sneeze without crossing my legs first and praying that I don't sneeze too hard. I had several times on Sat when I had to change my underwear - arghhh. The indiginity is too much, I must try harder with the pelvic floor excercises. I am going to turn into a TENA lady wearer way before I should. I'm just hoping that things improve once baybee is here or I will be for evermore. Helpfully, Mini O has also reached a point where he no longer has his siesta. On the one hand this actually makes life easier as I'm no longer tied to being at home etc for a particular time, but on the other, just at the moment I could really do with a bit of break in the day.

I have got a MW appt this afternoon. I'll hopefully get my blood results back and see whether or not the Spatone has been working. More importantly, I'll also find out if all the hanging over the birthing ball has encouraged squidge to move round from being OP to OA. I have to say I'm not hopeful on that front.

Good luck with mw orchid I am seeing mine this am and hoping for similar news. Sorry to hear about the sneezee wees, does it mean that squidge has started to descend maybe?

Orcs - oh dear. It's not too late to do the pelvic floor exercises, surely? I really should be doing those, I foresee a deeply undignified accident at some point otherwise. I too am necking the spatone in the hope it will prevent me having to take the evil iron tablets; did they tell you what your iron level was before? Fingers crossed Squidge is the right way round now.

Bites am I to assume that I have contracted out the stretch marks to you? If so, sorry. If not, did they appear overnight? Should I be paranoid yet?

I think the mere suggestion of hanging over a yoga ball has resulted in Owlet returning to normal arse in the air position. I hope it's his arse, anyway. I will get the doc to confirm on Friday. If it's his head he is in a world of trouble.

Truffs hope the appt goes well today and you get to hear luffly heartbeat, tis the best thing. :)

Lozza that's a second vote for chocolate and coffee. Hope the rummage goes well.

ESH meet in Hereford Thursday 23rd June if anyone is interested. PM me or boo.

Come! Come! :o

I'm off work that day! And it's the day before Squeaks turns 1 Count me in both.

Will do a facebook group thing so we can make it easy to invite folks :)

Me! Me! I love meeting ESHes!

G'ah. Can't bloody make it as am either doing last week of work. Or moving house. But either way can't make . Have fab times though and hopefully do again later in Summer when am on mat leave and then you can take turns squishing my bundle .

But have Mini-ESH meet plans brewing also.

Hoping Lozza's cervix is found to be 4cm dilated already when examined/fiddled with this avo.

Have sent sternly worded letter to solicitors and offered £2000 as gesture of goodwill provided they stop dragging feet and actually complete by time I lay this baybee. Did also mention "Cynical manipulation of timescales" though. AIBU?

Good luck for the fanjo rummaging sesshion lozzer

How are you rocket? How did it go at the weekend? Been thinking of you loads.

Hello lovely PESHies (and other lurking ESH). I think I might finally have caught up post-holiday (incidentally how come having been blown away by gales for 2 weeks while we were away, how come the sun came out as soon as we got home?) and so am bringing very belated congratulations on the arrivals of Sprout and MrT. Rocket I hope you're getting the support you need to get feeding working for you, and that it's getting easier. The issues you've had certainly aren't affecting Sprout's gorgeousness!

Thinking of you being swept this afternoon Lorry, hope Bug decides to put an appearance in sooner rather than later.

GG your buyer's sound a nightmare. Hope the sternly worded letter does the trick. Definitely NBU to mention timescales, they can hardly have failed to notice that might be an issue for you....

We went to our first NCT class last week, which freaked me out slightly - when I booked them (months ago having been warned they fill up pretty quickly round here) it felt like a lifetime away, and now they've started. I've got to go to this week's one on my own because TH is being sent to China by work. There'll be trouble if he's not back for next week. And I'm supposed to be going to the breast feeding session from the previous course later this week (I'll be away when the one for our course happens), but can I find out the venue???? The admin person has so far managed to tell me where the one I can't make it to is, but nothing about the one I actually want to go to....

Am v jealous of the ESHmeet - you're all too far south. Except Medee who's even norther than me. And probably lots of other people I've forgotten. Have fun!

Hello! biteybach is clearly gifted and talented as he has heeded his mother's pleas and gone head down, tail up paddling free. Or, as the MW rather alarmingly put it - he is in the launch position! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

owlie they came over night and are on the bit of stomach below bump and above hoo ha that hasn't even bloody well stretched. Grrrrrrrr.

Good news Bitey. I'm just back from MW, and happy to report that Foxcub is also head down, so all that headstanding was worth the discomfort and purple-facedness (will obviously continue to wear out-sized sequinned spandex outfit just for funsies). When I go back in 2 weeks MW expects head to be engaged.

I will not be attending the forthcoming EshMoot. My lame excuse is that I live 300 miles away from the venue. But I will of course be there in spirit.

Lulu's MW can't still be rummaging shurely? What news from Lozwatch?

Sweep fail

MW had a rummage, cervix is straight ahead, do not pass go, do not collect £200. She could just about insert tip of finger so think that means starting to dilate. But basically her fingers not long enough or cervix not forward enough to sweep membranes around it. I thought I was a single hard bastard but had to ask her to stop . How rubbish will I be at giving birth if I can't even cope with that? Anyway, part 2 on Wed, provisionally booked in for induction on Sun, which means consultant ward. Bunch of arse. Still, time to go before then.

Just got home, feeling a bit sick & wobbly. But in good news I've also had eh, quick rush to the loo. So maybe, just maybe I can do this myself.

Sorry to be mememe.

Oh, MW did say she needed ET fingers to help perform sweeps .

To add insult to injury, RL friend just posted pic of his wife on FaceCrack just having given birth, due day before me, looking fantabulous etc etc. Good for them, but ARGH! for me.

Oh Loz - not necessarily a fail. If all the rummaging hurt a bit then is bound to have done something. Even if it just speeds up the softening. Seriously though - do try the Evening Primrose oil caps up the fanjo. They work by softening up the cervix so it will dilate faster. Just push a couple up your fanjo each night before bedtime, no pain and they dissolve themselves.

And sunday is agggeeeees away. A lifetime, you're bound to be good to go by then.

Welcome back from holibobs, Occy. Looked beaut on Facebook. and enjoy NCY. When are you planning to finish work?

Glad to hear Foxcub and Biteybach are both head down and facing the exit. MiniG never engaged though...well, I suppose at some point he must have done but never really got there in advance - just in case anyone is worried about lack of engagement.

Although I wish MicroG would engage - have felt really breathless all afternoon as think lungs have been squashed to size of shrivelled empty crisp packets.