Summer, summer, summer PESH: Get in your birthing pools, it's going to be a hot one

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Casserole, girl born 19th March
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Scorpette, boy, born 21st May.
Rocketleaf, girl, born 23rd May.

UPDIFFED

Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.

Am still absolutely at some of the in law / grandparent behaviour! Big hugs to everyone, with added nipple tweaks for the DHBs amongst us.

Orchid have sent you FB friend request but am on my phone so no message to explain who I am, just a random request from a stranger!

In some exciting news (possibly) I have not vomitted today, not even once. I've felt sick quite a bit but no actual vomming! Am 16 weeks today so wondering if that's my magic number. Sincerely hoping so.

GaGa clearly spoke too soon about the nice buyer! Hope she's not trying it on because she knows you are working to a tight deadline. Would it be possible to call her bluff, knowing there is a risk she may pull out? Not sure how weighted the money vs. timescale is for you, or whether it would realistically be an option to hold out. Hope you get it sorted though, this time is stressful enough!

Score I am so cross with TYF's folks. How anyone just doesn't melt by looking at MrT is beyond me, and I haven't even seen him in RL! Robots. Thank the Lord TYF has you and MrT now to love him.

Morning haglets. Bf and Tongue tie specialist is due here in the next hour. I am very nervous!!! Please send your lovely ESHwishes that she can help Babyleaf and us. She is currently asleep and has been for 3.5 hrs, she needs to be ready for a feed ideally for this appointment so hoping she wakes up hungry in an hour. Seriously she would be the perfect baby if it weren't for the feeding ishoos. (well she IS perfect but you know what I mean)

Score the more I read about your experiences the more of a whimp I feel. You definitely win DHB crown.

Gaga sorry to hear your buyer is messing about. Seems to be the done thing these days. I blame Kirsty and Phil.

Loz, keeping an eye on you from afar. Hope things get moving soon luvver.

Waves to everyone else. Sorry to not catch up properly again but thinking of you all.

Good luck, Rocket. You've been so determined to get this sorted and resolve all the ishoos. Hopefully will just be a distant memory in a couple of weeks. Let us know how it goes.

Am off to my childbirth workshop today. Is the hippobirfing woman but is a free one off class she offers. No idea what it will be like.

Yay for Truff's non-vomiting. Hopefully worst is behind you now. Can't believe you are 16 weeks either - amaze! Can't quite believe am 33 weeks tomorrow either. Little bit in de nile about the end game. Especially as know what am facing this time - eek.

Can I just settle it all by saying all the ESH are DHBs - yes, even me, the fluffy one :)

Scorps I think the shock of TYF parents behaviour may finally get things moving for me. I know their past shenanigans have been legendary, but the way they acted in the hospital............... I can't even begin to think of words. TYF must be so upset, despite being used to it all his life. Their loss - Mr T is ADORABLE!

LadyG sorry the house buyer is being a twat. Added stress you could do without. Don't know any voodoo yet, but quite happy to investigate, take my mind of other stuff. Good luck with today's workshop.

Truff non-vomming is ace-tastic! Long may it continue.

Rocket Good luck for today. You are being an absolute trooper.

I'm going to be cheering on Wales rugby team from the sofa this afternoon. If the stress of supporting Welsh rugby doesn't put me into labour then I'm convinced I've just been carrying around an over sized Clarke's Pie for 9 months

Oh, & thanks for sweep advice. Not the best way to spend a Monday, but I think I will go for it. See exactly what is happening in there. Bit nervous as midwife is a lovely lady, but a bit heavy handed - even a bit rough when having a feel of belly. Hope she's a bit kinder with her hand up my fandango. Enjoy your breakfasts

laurieshavingabaybee I have no idea how frustrating it must be, but that baby knows what it's up to. It's like a lovely cake. Take it out of the oven too soon and it'll be no good. It's just making sure it's cooked to perfection.

And now I want cake. I went for cake with Styffy a few days ago and there was a victoria sponge in the shop that I swear had a layer of cream nearly as thick as the layers of cake. It looked OHMYGOODNESSDELISH. I want a piece now.

BESHt wishes for lil' RocketLeaf! :) I hope the specialist helps you both get sorted - must be so upsetting when you want to feed her and she wants mummy-milk and it's not happening like it should. The most perfect babies have to have a little something 'wrong' with them so as to not make other baybees jealous - Mr T has a mild club foot, clicky hips and overtight leg muscles, so requires physio, but I know he's only doing it to not be a show-off

I suspect cakes are Muser's breast replacement for herself

Oh, and agree everyone is a DHB

Loz, I can talk about MIL's foetid used foil drawer again if it'll help tip you into labour! TYF wasn't too upset by their behaviour, which upset me more, as he's so resigned to them giving so little (emotionally). My parents practically come to blows over who gets to hold Mr T! Muse is right - let that little one cook until s/he is just right. S/he'll be extra-delicious when s/he's ready :)

GG to fuckwit buyer. GERRABLOODYMOVEON! It'd be bad enough if you weren't so heavily pg!

Huzzah for a vom-free Truff! Long may it continue.

Aaaand finally, in exciting cankle news, my legs are starting to resemble a human's again and not 2 huge cones of doner meat! I shall focus on this positive improvement and not my heinous James Cordon belly...

C'mon laurie - we're all so excited for you! For me, it would be the French team which would make me involuntarily dilate - but if Gavin Henson does it for you in your hormone-addled state, who am I to judge?

Come on Lou! I say go for the sweep - they can be successful and at least your MW can tell you how things are progressing. They didn't work in my case, but at least I knew my cervix was doing stuff.

I am a firm advocate of getting the MW to explore your cervix! If they hadn't no-one would have believed I was in labour, given my wonky irregular contractions. And it might just do the trick loz. I hope the rugby does it really - a good way to get going! Hope it happens soon whatever. Shall we all pop over and give your nips some tweaking? My parentcraft midwife told me she walked it on a MTB's husband and sister trying to get her going during a long induction

The class was good - just stuff about using positive language, positive affirmations, breathing techniques, relaxation and some massage stuff for labour. I think if MrG reads a science-y type book about birth and then we do our yoga labour class that's him as educated as he needs to be.

I didn't know MrT needs some physio, Score - when do they start that? Am sure he will be just dandy. And make all the other babies even more jealous.

How did the BF woman go, Rocket?

Thanks for the good wishes on the non-vom status, I am pleased to report that today has continued similarly with no actual vomming at all. I'll be so pleased if this is the end of it now, so I can really enjoy myself.

I may have indulged in a little on line spending today I went online to buy some shoes I've been wanting from Dorothy Perkins and discovered they have 30% off online this weekend so have purchased some maternity 'essentials' (lovely clothes are essential aren't they?) that will arrive on Monday. TGB and I have the day off for my 16 week midwife appointment (heartbeat hearing time - squee) so I will be having myself a little fashion show.

Hope the specialist helped with feeding for you and baba leaf Rocky am keeping everything crossed that you get it sorted.

GaGa the massage stuff sounds nice, I am definitely hoping to get TGB trained in that kind of thing over the next few months.

Come on Lozza hope the rugby does the trick.

TGB has gone to the England game today (of course a 4.45pm kick off requires meeting in the pub at 1230 ) so I've been amusing myself by grabbing some sun on the balcony and then watching 'How to train your dragon' on anytime. Now going to watch the match and think about what I fancy for dinner, which is a huge novelty

Been thinking of you rocketman, hope the BF counsellor has given you some good advice.

Truffles - there's no friend request (other than from Boo). Didn't want you to think I was ignoring you - especially not now you are vom free

orch I think there might be two people with your name. Is your profile photo a landscape?

Waaah. I can only see one person with your name, the one with the landscape photo as a profile pic. If that's not right, how do I find you?

He'll be getting some physio at 6 wks, GG. We've been shown how to massage his foot gently but we keep forgetting because we've been so frazzled Of course, I feel like a monster, as though I'm condemning him to be Tiny Tim for life...

New shoes 'n' togs are essential indeed, Truff. See it as a reward for getting through Teh Vom :)

Oh bugger - I never thought there might be two of me! Doh...

No, I'm the one in the sunglasses and black and white stripey top, no picture of a landscape for me. Hmm, not sure what else to suggest Truff - you could always message me your name and I can try and find you instead?

BTW: news shoes etc ARE essential items, 'specially after the hideousnous that is MS. I am with scorps on that one

truff have PMed you

And lost the rest of my post. Arses am too tired to rewrite it! Will try again in a bit...

Yes, have found you Orchid by the power of ESH (thanks Bitey)

Hope the landscape picture namesake isn't freaked out by some random bird sending her a friend request

truffs I'm so glad to hear you're on the mend and shop, shop away! Avoid Isabella Oliver though - what the fuck is up with those slouchy models? I thought models were supposed to inspire us - not make us look like hunchbacks. I am so not down with the kids. Look, I can't even write da kidz. Oh, I have.

laurrrrrrrrrrrrrrie Get your cervix out, I want to have a look, and maybe poke it with a stick like a stranded jellyfish. Have you tried massaging it with white goods? Maybe massage it with a curry? They always say eat the curry but I figure it's worth a shot.

New shoes and clothes are absolutely essential at this stage and you deserve treats anyway after what you've been through. I spent far too many weeks cramming myself into my old clothes and all I can say was that it was bloody uncomfortable.

The thought of doing teensy Mr T foot massage has made me go SQUEEEEEE again Scorps Bless him, gorgeous boy. Your inlaws are a: mental and b: missing out.

Owlet has now turned round and I suspect he is lying horizontally as he is managing to kick me on one side and punch me in the other which makes me think I am going to throw up every time he does it. I do not approve. I do hope he goes back into his usual position soon or I may actually barf.

Lozza ! You alright, lovely?

GG Antenatal class sounds ace, I thoroughly approve of this massage idea.

rocket Hope the BF is sorting itself out now you're getting some specialist assistance. I have a BF class this week as part of the NCT classes and fully expect it not to cover anything useful as everyone I know has had some problem or other. I believe this is mainly due to the baybees not having paid attention or read the neccessary literature beforehand. Pfft.

No white goods are EVER going near my cervix again. Mr Loz is lucky I'm letting him breathe the same air as me at the moment. Lets not push things

Ho hum, sweep it is then....................

I have actually experienced that sensation laurie. All I'm saying is: make sure you wash your hands really well after chopping chillies and before inserting a mooncup.