The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

Thanks, Loz. My Dad has an incredibly rare skin condition (they are investigating if I've inherited some bizarre fluke gene off him) and he not only has terrible scarring and discolouration on his body but also has repetitive skin cancer (which he won't die of, just needs painful treatment), so I know that I've been lucky in the grand scheme of things to do with skin. Just feels like 'why do I have to count myself lucky at all when it's something so freaky that it should be impossible for me to have?' IYKWIM.

Oh, I'll just say it - my teeny-tiny lap scar has turned into a huuuuuge thick keloid scar like there's an old man's knobbly finger on my tum and the surrounding stretchmarks have gone keloid too. Under leggings, it looks like there's a monkey paw stuck on my lower bump, it's that bad. The spontaneous rate of growth and eventual size of such a tiny healed scar and the stretchmarks doing that are all completely unheard of, esp. as I have no history of keloids or poor wound healing and am in the dermatological category of skin least likely to get keloid scarring. They don't actually look like classic keloids either and pregnancy shouldn't have triggered this, so more reasons to be stumped. My upper lap scar has gone a bit keloid too and even that is supposedly freaky. When my tum goes back to normal, @1/3 of it or more will have these thick, rigid, bumpy scar 'fingers' on it Steroid injections might flatten them, so fingers crossed for that in the future (poor choice of words?).

My boobs are doing nothing milky milky either. Boobs and nips have completely changed look, size and colour over the whole pg (norks have gone quite saggy, so another reason to feel crap about my body) and nips have gone quite flaky but I keep giving them a squeeze and they're still dry as a bone. Seems impossible that they'll suddenly spring into action as soon as The Lad snuffles for them!

flakiness might actually be dried milk scorps. I thought mine was dry skin flakiness, until I eventually caught them leaking!

Sorry you are having to go through this. IME steroids can do pretty amazing things, so here's hoping that will help. I can't see any reason why you can't have steroid treatment asap after the birth - they don't do any harm via breastmilk. lots of ESHlove to you.

Yes, I think so too about the flakiness. And the leaking isn't like a gush - just a couple of spots. Wouldn't be enough to even mark your bra. Come here and let me inspect them

Hope you can get a good outcome with the scars. I know they must look terrible to you but to everyone that loves you they will just become part of you. Entirely different but a little bit the same is that the FDH has a chronic bowel disorder with some spectacular symptoms. He finds them very embarrassing but to me that's just one of things he does. I hate that he is suffering but the actual symptoms I take in my stride. Does that make any sense at all? Sorry if not, I am not doing well on the communication front today.

Aw, you lot are so nice. Sadly, my anguish over the scarring is all to do with how gross I feel about myself, not what others will think (I'm a bit body dysmorphic to start off with), but is good to hear positive things about steroid treatments, thanks, Caspy :) At least I was never a bikini type of gal to start off with! Bitey, feel v sorry for FDH. Have mild IBS myself and know how painful and embarrassing just that can be, so I really empathise with the guy having chronic issues. What you say makes sense - you hate the problem for him but it doesn't take away 1% of love. That's v reassuring. TYF tells me I'm the most beautiful woman alive and he doesn't care (although he's always had a real thing about how smooth and soft my tummy was, sob) and I wouldn't care if he got scars either, so I need to HTFU.

Anyway, am more concerned about important stuff now cos The Lad has been worryingly inactive today. Have rung maternity unit on MW's advice and might have to go in later to be checked out, if he doesn't get a-squiggling soon. But they did say, from what I told them, that it defo sounds like my body is gearing up for the Big Event soon and that's probably why he's less active! Have already felt at least 6-7 movements today, but that's really lazy for him.

scorpshope it just the lad storing up some energy for his grand entrance!! Sure that's what it will be but best to get checked. Sounds like it won't be long so vey excited for you.

Btw thought I'd share ace tip from my MW. If anyone has ever seen or used one of the ear trumpet things that MWs used before dopplers wete invented? you can make your own from a loo roll. You need to suss out from your bump shape and kicks where approx the heart would be then place the loo roll there. Get the person listening to lean their ear against the other end with enough pressure so you can let go, they should then be able hear or rather feel the HB like a pulse in their ear drum. No good for us mums but ace for dads and other family and freinds!!

Are you there Scropy? Has The Lad been moving about? Or are you LAYING?!!

Hope all is OK, Scorps, but it is probably that he's just taking a wee rest before the big push, or that he's run out of space.

Scorps what's the latest? Hope The Lad is just saving his energy for you. Hope you're OK x

Scorps is very quiet. Hope she's laying and we will hear very soon.

Maybe they kept her in?

Scorps!!?

rocket JB used to do that with me. My hearing isn't very good but he can hear a pixie fart at 500 paces. It probably looked a bit odd though.

Can someone save me a seat in the Scorpwatch hide? I'm off to collect our Onelife nappies from a nice lady down the road who is selling hers.

scorps? Hope you are ok.

foxy I meant to say thank you for your kind message about consultant lead care but I was in a wifi wilderness and kept losing the post. Thank you thoough, you did make me feel much better

Now then, where is scorps? Can't see a thing through my field glasses!

Ohh I hope she is a laying!! Not like scorps to keep us in suspense!!!

Hope she's alright and The Lad is on the way. That would be ace.

In buzzwam news; the other one leaked more abundantly all over Mr Boots in bed this morning due to being a bit squashed I think. He seemed untroubled. I am still rather grossed out.

In pram news; Christ. My entire living room is now covered in pram bits. We need a bigger house. Although I am pleased to report that it was easy to assemble and looks fab. Tis this one with black frame and electric blue covers.

Owlet clearly approves as is doing little dance of excitement and threatening to make my breakfast reappear.

Rocket I tried that with a kitchen roll a while ago but couldn't do the neccessary contortion to listen. I ended up blowing raspberries down the tube instead to see if I got a response.

Rocket I am out all day but if there is Scorps news please send me a text.

gah, can't believe I am about to go away for the weekend and Scropes is about to lay!

booty there is no way on earth I could listen for myself!!

boo will do, COME ON scorpette (i hope we aren't getting al excited and she is just having a lie in!!)

MW has just been: all good in the hood here, head is engaged, just a little bit still out so need to get bouncing on my ball. "Lovely chilled baby" perfect positioning for natural birth. Just need to adjust the pool room a bit to make more room at one end in case i need stitches etc. So thats the job for tomorrow.

I am very envious of the leaky boobages on display (pics on fb!) - because my boobs needed to be clamped in a vice and my body shoved full of chemicals to make me lactate, and even then I was able to produce a blob of milk not much bigger than the pool of pus created when squeezing a small whitehead. All the PESHes who told of leaky boobs before laying went on to produce enough milk to rival Dulux in pots of white stuff! :) It seems to bode well!

Scorpwatch update.. Had a text from her just before 10am but I've only just seen it. She asked me to let you know that she is in hossie. Went in last night to check on The Lad, and they wanted to keep her in. The Lad is fine but Scorpy has a UTI and high blood pressure. She is waiting to see if they will induce her today. She is fine but tired, hungry, bored and grumpy! She also asked me to remind y'all not to mention developments on facecrack. Ta muchly! Will update as soon as I hear anything else. Just trying to pack the car... gah, mucho stress goin' on!

Hello ladies? What have I missed? It seems congrats to StifffyByng. And I hope Score is ok and laying after what seems to be the most horrendous pregnancy eva the girl deserves a nice easy time of the ackshul labour.

Boob wise I never leaked - pre or post laying. And I still breastfed for 2 and a half years. So don't fret if not leaky. I can't even make any colostrum come out if I squeeze at the mo. Think boobs are still having a nice rest as they only stopped lactating about 5 months ago!

Had a lovely holibobs and very chilled. Would not really recommend flying at 30 weeks though with dodgy pelvis. Was soo uncomfy and then restless legs kicked in which was fun. Otherwise fine though bar bad case of insomnia, baby lively which is lovely. Heartburn creeping in now so going to get me some Gaviscon and try and eat smaller meals...easier to do when you don't have a huge buffet to peruse every meal I imagine.

Hope everyone else well - need to catch up properly but also have a mountain of washing to tackle.

Oooh, cross post with Pol. Sending Score all the bestest wishes and easy, squeezy, sneezy vibes. You'll be snuffling the Lad's head before you know it.

Thanks pol Poor scorps with all these complications but it will be worth it when she is snuffling The Lad. text her our love and loads of easy sneezy vibes if you have time! Goes without saying that FB is on lock down but rest assured nowt will be said.

lagyGEE welcome home, sounds like a lovely time despite the heartburn and insomnia :S