The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

The positions were really good foxylady, the bum that was sticking out budged over after I tried the inversion one and gave me a good night's sleep for a change. It's back today though - it is clearly his default position after I have sat at a computer all day. Luff the tiny new born clothes, happy squeeing!

at owlie, shall I tell them that at parent craft?

Speaking of which, parent craft is held at the hospital and led by a midwife for four sessions. I hope it's antenatal although some advice on what to actually do with baybees would be welcomed! In my Ina May book on BFing one mother was so tired she attempted to feed her baybee upside down, ie nurse its bottom! Given current confusion I am worried that this may happen to me!

The midwife run sessions round here are called parentcraft and if I remember rightly they are: 'normal' labour, what happens when things don't go to plan (including pain relief, so actually including things which may well be in the plan!), feeding (mainly breastfeeding) and what happens when you go home. So a mix of how to get your baby into the world and what to do with it once it's here. Sadly no glitter was involved in the one I've actually made it to (the rest all clash with work things/holiday, although I might manage the last one of the next block. Thank goodness for having NCT as an alternative option!)

Talking of holiday, we're off for a couple of weeks tomorrow, so I'm fully expecting to come back to news of much laying. Don't have too much fun without me.

I vote for glitter and double-sided sticky tape parentcraft as next fred theme!

Have fun on hols Oca

Scorps where aaaarrrreeee youuuuu?

oh and this is the link I mentioned before.
I luffs watching people give birth

I am here! Just spent all fucking avo waiting forever for my appointment only to have two specialists tell me they're absolutely stumped, have no idea how to help me (or if they can) and not be able to answer my questions. At least the main one had the decency to admit that she'd presumed certain things from the info from the first also-stumped specialist I'd seen and gotten everything wrong - because, as she kept muttering in disbelief, what she was looking at should be impossible (sorry to be so elusive, I just feel too tender about it all to go into more details on a public forum)! I have to go back in 6 wks so they can see what the situation is post-birth and so they can consult top people in London (Harley St., no less!) about it and they also wanted to take some photos to show students, etc. - it is that unique, I shit you not (I said no, cos they wanted to me to wait round even more for all that and I ain't no freak show). The only thing they can tell me is that my tum will always look a hot mess. FFS.

Oh Scorps :( :( I really hope the lad arrives soon so you at least have a lovely (albeit temporary) distraction from all that. Sounds horrible. Have they mentioned any kind of reconstructive surgery of some kind to at least attempt to correct it at some point? (obv I have no idea what you are talking about so am making pathetic, random suggestions) Hope they do take you to top consultants on Harley st and you get extra-spesh treatment to sort it out.
I have a feeling you may win the prize for worst pregnancy in the history of mankind but am not sure what prize may compensate...I mean apart from The Lad of course! Sending you un-ESHlike hugs. And some gin (at this point in the pregnancy, who cares, right?).

I come with no purpose other than to give scorps a great big hug...and a few nipple tweaks.I must admit that when you said you got TYF to give your feet a good pummelling, I was thinking that it should have been another part of you getting the action Eyes on the prize, my dear.

Must admit I thought the same Casp! Poor Scorpy. So sorry to hear of the strange skin problems - you really have had the shittest pregnancy ever. I know without doubt that The Lad will make all of this shite seem unimportant when he arrives but it is still rubbish that you have to go through it all. Big snogs and more nipple tweaks. I'll even share my booja booja icecream with you, now that is luff!

Oh Scorps. T
That is mega mega shite. Yes, there's no other thing for it.

I hope they find some fabulous way of helping you out. Huge hugs and good vibes xxx

Bloody hell Scorps you poor love. You've had to go through all manner of things during this diffment, haven't you? I really hope that you manage to see someone who can be helpful.

Curly, Poo I also thought Scorps was getting a pummelling to another body part. What does that say about us & our minds? .

Nowt going on here. Everything south of my belly button is aching now & I sometimes feel Bug is just going to fall out when I stand up. Oh, if only it were that easy. Heartburn is biggest nightmare at the moment. I've even resorted to drinking milk, which although is the most vile thing in the history of the planet is actually the best thing for easing heartburn. Apparently hearburn means a hairy baby . Crap, at this rate Bug will be a monkey with a Leo Sayer 'fro.

Oca have a fab holiday. Though you have struck the fear of God into me when I realised I'm prolly one of those who could have laid before your return

I should prolly ask this in the CRESH, but will go for it here too. Those who have laid before, do you get to a stage where your brain is really ready & prepared to go into labour? I just still can't quite believe it, & told Mr Loz that I wasn't in the mood for labour yesterday. What I meant was I wanted to feel strong & raring to go before I lay, & I did not feel like that. I've read that the mind is a powerful thing & if your mind isn't ready then it can delay laying (OK, may be a bit woo). At this rate I think I'll be diffed for ever .

laurie I don't know, I know my situation was very different but I wasn't ready at all - mentally or physically.

Loz I was induced before my due date and had plenty of advance warning but never felt completely ready - but I think it starts happening and you deal with it - I think the body has an effect on the mind in the same way that the mind has an effect on the body iyswim. Anticipating something that you've never done before is almost impossible to be completely prepared for I think (unless you're a zen buddhist or all round cool cucumber, which I'm not :o).

Lozza I was ready both times from about 36/37 weeks. Of course both little witches were almost 2 wks late.

Lozza after the shitty night I've just had, I'm ready now Obv. don't really want him to turn up at 29 weeks for his own good, but mentally I'm in The Zone. If there is a zone. Maybe I'm just going mental from lack of sleep. If everything south of bellybutton is aching that sounds like Bug is getting ready even if you're not feeling it.

Oca have a tiptop holiday :)

Random question for the day: yesterday I discovered one of my buzzwams was leaking slightly. I was massively grossed out by this revelation and then massively surprised at how grossed out I was as I'd always assumed this would not bother me in the slightest. Anyone? Just me?

loz, I had had a gut feeling about Squeaks being early, so I felt kind of ready. But something definitely kicked in once labour began, when I went really zen about the whole thing, and happy to just get on with it (until transition!). I think that is fairly common. You will be fine when the time comes.

Not sure if it the hippobirthing but I feel quite mentally prepared and as ready physically and emotionally for something I have experienced yet as I'm ever going to be. (prob take after poo and be 2 weeks late now) Been having a nice chat with Sprout this morning telling her I understand that its comfy in there but that there's lots of exciting stuff out here to get involved with and I'll make sure she's just as comfy out here - so whenever she's ready, we are good to go. Then I realised my MW never actually dropped the oncall list round so I'd better not go into labour until tomorrow or I'll be free birthing!!!

Have a lovely holiday orcs (bit late!)

scorps can't believe what a rough deal you have had with this pregnancy, proper shitty end of the stick. I hope you can get some help with the skin issues, can't believe they expected you to make like a guinea pig when they basically hadn't a clue how to help you. Pffft.

booty no actual leaking but I do get yellow crust (which i presume is dried up colostrum) which is just lovely!

have haven't

Loz, I feel ready now (and how!), but that could just be me being fed up of feeling rough Ever since @ wk 38 I've started to feel less 'ohshitohshitohshitohshit!' and more ready to go. I too wanted/expected to feel more warrior-like readiness for 'battle', as it were, but for me it's more of an acceptance it will happen. Although it still feels incomprehensible that I could theoretically go into labour at any moment!

And fans of Scorp Watch might be interested to know that my pelvis and back feel odd and unpleasant today, although I did sleep badly, so I might've just slept in a funny position, who knows

Thanks so much for the kind thoughts. Sadly, treatment options are limited - plastic surgery won't work (and could even make it worse), no creams/lotions would help, is just tough shit. Will be v ugly and affect what I can wear as opposed to unhealthy, which feels like small comfort right now. Still, would rather be scarred than have something serious wrong with me or baby - or not have a baby at all. Just feels v 'why me?' - esp. as the Docs said it was medically impossible and actually defied everything they've ever been taught! That's not an exaggeration, either - they genuinely said that whilst staring agog at me! If anyone wants to know more, PM me and I will explain in private (am not presuming me and my crazy tum are that exciting, just that I realise I've been intriguing about it all). It's to do with keloid scarring, if that makes anything clearer.

Still, I reckon I'm owed one of those births now where I think I need a poo and then go to the bog and The Lad slips out effortlessly in seconds

I definitely think so scorps if anyone deserves an easy sneeze its you I know this kind of physical stuff is hard on the self esteem but neither TYF or The Lad will care about your tum and no one else (apart from your own opinion) matters.

TB has started putting notes round the house with "28th of May, Bring it on" on. And I though he hadn't really embraced the hippobirthing/positive thinking thing and was just going along with it for my sake :o

Thanks, Rocket. Trouble is, I've had a lifelong phobia of weird skin, in particular anything lumpy and bumpy and I've now got big knobbly scars, so I feel physically sick just looking at or touching them Still, will have more than enough on my plate soon enough to care about that sort of thing (hopefully).

I think it's lovely that TB is getting so excited. The notes sound a great idea :)

Yes boots colostrum leakage here with crusty bits too. It was quite alarming but now just something else that is happening to my body that didn't before. I think I may have been reading a bit too much Ina May as have gone very zen and a bit featherery stokerery!

score you poor love. That is all.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Very interesting. I'm not worried, it really is more a case of still not quite believing its happening. Maybe its acceptance. Not that I've ever faced anything quite like this before, but I usually work myself up then tip over into a zen calmness, mixed with determination of wanting to tackle whatever it is. Maybe I'm approaching that point. I do like to be very organised, & there are still some little things that I want to do before Bug arrives - completely daft baby un-related stuff, like pot up some plants my Nana gave me . Maybe when I've done all these daft things there'll be nothing more than clouds & air in my brain & all thoughts of baby will come along then.

Rocket having said all that, same as you, I've spoken to Bug & told him/her there are some fab things waiting for their arrival, & lots of people cannot wait to meet him/her. I've also tried to reassure Bug that he/she will continue to be fed & made warm & comfy out here, so not to stay put for ever .

My poor mum is trying not to show me how on edge she is, but then lets slip. She had an unexpected delivery of flowers yesterday, & immediately thought they were going to have a card which said "Congrats Grandma!". Uh, Mr Loz & I were just planning a quick phone call to tell her . The flowers were from the bank by way of an apology for screwing up interest payments on her account . Daft woman.

Oh, no leakage / crusty bits here at all - even my norks are denying all things baby!

Scorps I really don't know what to say. As you know my brother has eczema, then had that nasty burns accident. So his skin is not the best. Even before his burn he was always hugely embarrassed about his skin. But in a strange way the accident was good as its made him re-assess things a lot, including how on the scale of what might have been his skin really isn't so bad at all. I'm not saying its been easy, & I can't begin to imagine how tough this must be for you. But keep your eyes on the prize........

Sorry loz for some reason I didn't see your post and was wondering what everyone else was replying to! Being so calm can only be good for you though? Ina May says (prepare to hear this a lot until I throw this book out of the window in rage too) that adrenaline through fear can cause the cervix to undilate and cobtractions to slow down. Apparently snogging can help reverse this effect? Ina May also promises orgasmic birth if you are very very lucky

PS have you poked them enough? Your norks that is? One leaked anyway the other required a poke!