PESH deli: the one where we get loads of lays

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 27th Feb
Medee, doesn't feel as "neat" as everyone makes out, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
BarbiesBeaver, Forever the Dildocam Slut, due Early October
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

I've been in flasher bras for months now. Only ones comfy/big enough for my comedy preggo norks Or, rather, M&S only had feeding bras when I went looking and couldn't be arsed to go anywhere else.

Do not speak to me of farting. I am disgusting even myself with my wind at the moment. TYF no longer sees me as the delicate flower of femininity he once did

My first inkling of being pg was that I went mental for a day (I mean properly, not comically) and was really asthmatic. My 2WOOFL that month coincided with me going on a hella-fierce diet and exercise frenzy and the moment where I suddenly just 'knew' came to me as I was struggling up to the post office with a package twice my body weight. Months of doing everything 'right' and I gave up hope and POW!

I am in flasher bras for the exact same reason as scorps! I was not swayed at all by the fact that M&S have leopard print ones alright I was.

Farty gym man was gross, I was running like the clappers and really gasping for breath, dirty so and so! I had had a negative pee stick and was trying to goad the droid to rear his rusty head so really was running hell for leather!

I am quite enjoying my wind, the FDH has colitis and when he has a flare up (actually just most mornings) he lets rip with right stinky ones. I am trumping his trumps and he can't complain in the slightest!

Oh oh oh, go go go gin!!!

Babymoon sounds like a fab idea but with all that trumping going on prob best you all avoid Malawi

at the queue-jumper in our midst. S'funny how you knew it would be early Ginster - what's your secret??? Here's hoping for a gentle sneeze for you followed by the largest to celebrate.

Cho - are you laying too????

Is all bollocks.

Apparently I have 'loads of watery discharge' which for some reason chose to flood out, but they don't think it's my waters. Not that they have any further explanations.

I'm really fucked off with this. Not really bothered if baby comes early or not, but spending half of every night awake with period pain/BHs etc etc, puking and pooing all over the place, pretend waters leaking.... It's just fucking stupid.

And now I've come home to a toddler in a shitty mood who is crying and whinging at me. Which is, of course, exactly what I need.

I am probably going to cry.

Aw, Gin, that's so rubbish Is so bloody unfair, it sounds awful. Not knowing whether you're coming or going is the worst. Would some hard booze and erotiviolence help?

Ps it wasn't my news on fb. I have no fucking news.

Although I am obviously v happy for the lovely person that does. Apologies being a self centred bitch.

oh gin that's total wankdogs. :( here have a large and a bucket of

Watery discharge???? Where exactly would that come from??? Sounds like a crock of shit to me too Ginster. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish too - a good cry is normal and will help so don't hold back.

Speaking of which....I had emotional outburst in Costa today. Tried to manoeuvre tray of coffee onto table that hadn't been cleared & sent LC's babyccino flying. Was, quite literally, crying over split milk .

Sorry I didn't clarify it wasn't Gin-news on FB. Was trying to hint towards news without breaking it or naming names - would never take the right off anyone to announce their news themselves.

Cheers chaps. And Kate that's what I thought! But she said more discharge quite common late in pg etc etc. But a small gush? From nowhere? All seems strange to me

Baby is 2/5 palpable, so is very much engaged. For what it's fuking worth

And sorry to hear the bastard tears gotcha today. Think we will both be needing this evening.

Boo to no news gin, I was all waiting for a queue jump.

I am properly on maternity leave now, did my last meeting. I have no reason to get out of bed tomorrow. Hooray!

I would like to take a self-indulgent moment to mourn the passing of my Sky Box. The stupid thing has died, just as I start maternity leave. It does not work at all. I have no tv. None. And the new one doesn't come until next week Tuesday. I had tons of stuff recorded to watch. It is so unfair!

Now, let us return to more serious matters.

Oh muse was about to congratulate you but now feel too sad about the sky! Did you tell them you are ml and need to bond with the remote?

TBG sorted it out and there were no earlier options. Annoyingly we can't just get a new box and plug it in, they have to come and install it.

On the bright side, TBG went to get us sossidge and chips to celebrate the start of my maternity leave, as well as a bottle of champagne. So I have champagne and Ross Noble on dvd, who is a comedy god.

Oh dear - every silver lining has a cloud eh Muse
Congrats on the mat leave but commiserations on the death of your Sky Box. So, tomorrow morning your will wake up and wondering where is everyone and WTF do I do now.

Here - have a and enjoy your lie-in

Whoop Muse - you will have to watch the stuff online instead. Gutting though.

Boo for Ginster - thought it was defo it. I don't think you'll be long though - doesn't add up all this strangeness. Smells a bit fishy (not literally)

That is annoying but glad you have sausage and champets! Do you want to start a Pesh DVD club? I have terrible selection but some good uns?

Is clearly a night for sausages, the fdh has made me sausage, onion gravy and bubble and squeak I luff him very much.

Bitey come back :( Come and talk about Mitchell and houses.

Awww, poor gin, all that excitement for nothing (except a whinging toddler). Don't worry, we'll be very good at doing it all again when the 'real' time comes.

kate a spilled babyccino is totally worth crying over.

For what it's worth I had to go into another room, close the door and let rip this evening because I felt I was about to explode. Ever so lady-like. But, man, they really stink.
Maybe it's nature's way of getting a pregnant woman a seat in a crowded room?

Oh Gin that is shit news.

RIERIE!!!!!! Nice to see you my luvver.

Yey for ML muse massive double BOO at the box breaking, that is some seriously bad timing! Hope you can borrow some box sets of someone.

My farts are hideous. I think I probably need a health warning attached to my arse.

Do I hear of lays going on in these parts? I see no lays.