Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Ciaran's Thread For Bereaved Mammies... Where It's Not About Finding The Answers, It's About Learning To Live With The Questions...

984 replies

Deemented · 03/05/2009 16:54

Many many thanks to TW and Harry for passing the baton to myself and Ciaran.

Ladies, i found this poem, and thought it was particularly apt for this thread.

The Gift of Someone Who Listens

Those of us who have traveled awhile
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.
It wasn't the person with answers,
Who told us the ways to deal.
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.
Think of friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember
That, more than the words we speak,
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

OP posts:
lottiejenkins · 12/07/2009 18:59

Hi all, a very hectic weekend here, what with Wilfs party and then i had to go to a silver wedding anniversary party. I was dressed in silver clothes and covered in silver spray. All my friends were saying that they could tell if i had been and greeted their husbands as they were covered in glitter!!

shabster · 13/07/2009 06:46

Morning girls xx

Sounds like a fab weekend Lottie

lottiejenkins · 13/07/2009 07:52

Travelling Wilbury......... are you about? Havent seen you on here or Facebook for a while! Hope you are ok!!!

shabster · 13/07/2009 22:52

Its very quiet on here - everybody ok?

shabster · 14/07/2009 06:37

Morning girls - we go to Greece tomorrow

lottiejenkins · 14/07/2009 08:42

I hope you have a lovely time Shabs, i cant understand why it's so quiet on here!!

shabster · 14/07/2009 08:53

Thanks Lottie - will still post - the only way to get Tom in out of the veeeeeeery hot mid-day sun is a promise of an hour on the computers at the hotel

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 14/07/2009 19:12

Have a lovely holiday Shabs. No need to ask where you are going

I think people are busy on their holidays and enjoying the sunshine.

I sent TW a message on FB last week as I had noticed she hadn't been about. I haven't heard anything back so I am hoping she has got PC problems.

shabster · 14/07/2009 19:35

Erm......ermmmm.....think its Greece

xxxxxxx

shabster · 14/07/2009 22:06

OK girls - I better do something about trying to get a couple of hours sleep - see you all in 2 weeks - will post in the meantime though. Take care everybody xxxxxxxxxxxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/07/2009 07:47

Safe journey Shabs. Have a lovely time xxx

frasersmummy · 15/07/2009 08:24

I have just been reallyh busy the last week or so.. nothing specific just seem to be constantly on the go..

shabs I realise I have missed you but know you will check in so hope you arrived safely and have a great time

right we need someone to get us all up un the mornings for the next 2 weeks....

all volunteers step forward now.. fm takes 2 steps back as she is not a morning person

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/07/2009 16:30

Hi there FM. Good to hear all is ok with you. I hope your mum is on the mend too.

M is now crawling and pulling himself up on things - gaaahhhhhh. I can't MN in peace anymore

frasersmummy · 15/07/2009 17:22

Mum has just in the last few weeks turned a corner....

she is soo much better .. the doctors are amazed and dont know how she has managed it.

My personal opinion is that they never got to the bottom of what was wrong with her but whatever it was has cleared up eventually without any help from them

I cant believe mac is crawling already..feels like about 2 months since we were praying for a safe arrival - dont worry in 3 years time you can stick cartoons on and sit down and mn in peace

lottiejenkins · 16/07/2009 08:02

Morning all xx

frasersmummy · 16/07/2009 09:26

morning all..

bright and sunny in Glasgow

shabster · 16/07/2009 11:56

Hiya girls. Arrived safe and sound - everything is just wonderful, as always.

FM great to hear how well your Mum is doing.

Thought I would sneek on here and send my love to everyone.

Take care - see you all soon xxxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 17/07/2009 08:56

Have a wonderful time Shabs. Catch some rays for me

So glad to hear your mum is doing a lot better FM. I bet it's a big relief all round.

Lots of rain and storm here last night and it's looking pretty grey here this morning. I have been rained on 3 times this week and I really don't want to make it a fourth!

shabster · 17/07/2009 21:38

Its still TOO quiet on here - come on girls - where the devil are you

lottiejenkins · 18/07/2009 08:33

Morning all xx

frasersmummy · 18/07/2009 09:23

morning ... Ross is all excited because we are off to a vintage fire engine rally

I had to fight tears yesterday .. I said oh mummy's baby and he said I'm not a baby I'm a big boy oh right ok. He went back to what he was doing and then 5 mins later he looked up and said Fraser died when he was a baby so he will always be your baby mummy.

lottiejenkins · 18/07/2009 10:57

Awwwwwwwwwwwww FM........... I keep wondering where Travelling Wilbury is..... I havent seen her on here or FB for ages! Hope you are ok TW!!!

shabster · 18/07/2009 13:30

awwwwww FM 'out of the mouths of babes eh???' Tell him that my Danny is still my baby and he's 27. xxxxxxxxx

Thelighthousekeeper · 18/07/2009 22:43

Hi All,

Hope you are having a fab holiday Shabs.

Things have been a bit emotional this week, Elodie is 10 weeks old tomorrow (the exact age Noah was when he died). I took her to have her immunisations this week (the first lot which are due at 8 weeks). Due to circumstances Noah had had his at 9 weeks and then died exactly 1 week later, the sensible part of me knows that this had nothing to do with his death, but at the same time it did leave me wondering if it could have played a part. Still, she has been putting on lots of weight and her cheeks are getting so chubby that she is starting to look like a little hamster!

Sorry not to have been around much lately but its just been so manic here. On the positive we have booked a holiday to Cornwall for August this week, which I'm quite excited about, on the negative Dh has been told this week his job is at risk and we now have to wait 2 months to find out what is going to happen.Fingers crossed it will be okay.

Hope you all have a good weekend. xxx

travellingwilbury · 19/07/2009 07:31

Good morning all , I have been having problems with my stupid computer again . It is amazing how much I get done around here without it

Lighthouse , I know exactly what you mean about the jabs . Harry died 4 days after having his MMR , The aday I had to go and give it to Jamie was one of the hardest of my life . I left it for months before I could pluck up the courage so well done for managing .

A big hello to all of you , I will come back and catch up after work this morning xxx