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Bereavement

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Ciaran's Thread For Bereaved Mammies... Where It's Not About Finding The Answers, It's About Learning To Live With The Questions...

984 replies

Deemented · 03/05/2009 16:54

Many many thanks to TW and Harry for passing the baton to myself and Ciaran.

Ladies, i found this poem, and thought it was particularly apt for this thread.

The Gift of Someone Who Listens

Those of us who have traveled awhile
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.
It wasn't the person with answers,
Who told us the ways to deal.
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.
Think of friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember
That, more than the words we speak,
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

OP posts:
shabster · 11/06/2009 07:13

Leave it TW All ok at Shabster Towers xx

travellingwilbury · 11/06/2009 07:23

Ok Shabs I will

I take a lot of convincing to be a lazy so and so don't I ?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 11/06/2009 07:23

Morning lovely ladies

God but the weather is grim here at the moment. Where's that lovely sunshine gone? I don't mind if it isn't warm, but overcast weather is just so blar.

Have a good day xxx

shabster · 11/06/2009 07:32

Its freeeeeeeeezing here!!

travellingwilbury · 11/06/2009 07:55

It is lovely here by the way

lottiejenkins · 11/06/2009 08:53

Morning all............. Peeeeeeeeeeing down here!!
I have an appointment with the doctor this afternoon, my achilles heel on my left foot is really painful!!!

lottiejenkins · 11/06/2009 09:06

I discussed putting this song on with Shabs last night!! I decided I would !!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwEvOQ4HXB4&feature=channel_page

shabster · 11/06/2009 09:30

I had forgotten how fantastic that song was Lottie xxx

shabster · 11/06/2009 22:34

Quiet tonight - anyone about?

lottiejenkins · 11/06/2009 22:36

Hi all, I've just been out to see The Changeling! Wow.............. what a film, not what i expected and not one for the faint of heart! I had my head down my tee shirt at one point with my lovely friend Val (whos in her 70's) patting me on the arm and saying"are you all right dear?" A friend of mine was in the village tonight and i got to see him for a short time too!

shabster · 11/06/2009 22:56

Tell me more...Tell me more....Was it love at first sight?????

Come on Lottie - spill the beans xx

shabster · 12/06/2009 06:16

Good morning girls xx

travellingwilbury · 12/06/2009 07:25

Good morning everyone x

I am very tired , my sister made me sit up till 2am drinking and talking rubbish . I only did it to be sociable you understand

lottiejenkins · 12/06/2009 08:15

Nothing to say really Shabs.......... It wasnt Mr Carpenter though!

crumpette · 12/06/2009 19:54

Hello everyone how are things?

I am the artist formerly known as marmitemonster. I have had a really really grimsville time since going back to work last week, and basically they kept talking about death right by my desk and were behaving ridiculously even though all those involved knew about DD.

So I found out that they had been hacking in to my private email accounts, which had rants about work to a friend, and confession that I am pregnant, and job applications, and more rants and my mumsnet details on. I have changed all my passwords and got MNHQ to delete my posts which isn't what I wanted but I knew they made me very very identifiable due to my complaints about work, my location and my detailed accounts of DD's illness.

Anyway- I am back!!! have applied for new jobs this week, fingers crossed. They are being appalling.

Hope you are doing OK xx (marmite)

Thelighthousekeeper · 12/06/2009 20:30

Hi Crumpet, so sorry you are having such a bad time at work,its incredible how insensitive and inconsiderate people can be. Fingers crossed you'll find something new very soon. xx

Hope everyone else is okay. xx

lottiejenkins · 12/06/2009 21:38

Crumpette I would be sueing them for invading your privacy my love!! BASTARDS!!! Fancy doing that to you!!

crumpette · 12/06/2009 21:49

Hey, thanks. I know it's not quite what I need right now. They have been so horrible since I have gone back- and DD only died 2 months ago- I mean, why pick on me!??

I think they weren't expecying me to actually go back but the way they've acted is truly outrageous- lots of comments about undertakings? that's how they get rid of dead bodies, lots of questions about what happens to peoples clothes when they die, lots of discussion of cremations and burials and deaths of clients and pathologist careers and postmortems. I have been back less than 2 weeks and this is going on over my desk area or next to it- and the office is huge-

wtf!!?? Anyway and then the completely bizarre behaviour from senior staff and the email hacking of personal emails which is unlawful as I wasn't informed and it's my private email not work.. .

arrgh I just want to quit!!!!

crumpette · 12/06/2009 21:53

sorry for that little vent As if thats not enough I am pg, and feel completely horribly ill since going back (bizarre flu symptoms) and found today (office is huge) on one ceiling tile there is a whole load of icky looking fungusy stuff-?? Having googled inhalation of ceiling tile fungi spores,
I'm now really worried that will affect the pregnancy. My firm have done nothing about it at all and Ive only had symptoms since going back- and other people have been ill on/off for a couple months.

can I just hide on monday and not go in!!??

crumpette · 12/06/2009 21:54

Sorry again for continued vent-

phew that's better x

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/06/2009 08:18

Hi crumpette. Well the people you work with are right charmers aren't they? I really can't believe people can be so insensitive.

I would make a written account of everything you have told us here and send it with a complaint to your manager and the HR department (with read receipts). Also blind copy your private email address, so you have a recorded copy.

wrt the mould. It probably is ok, but again send written notification to the maintenance department and use read receipts and blind copy your personal address.

If needs be, get your GP to sign you off for a while. I don't normally advocate that, but these really are exceptional circumstances.

take care xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/06/2009 08:20

Forgot to say hello lighthouse

How's it going? Are you very sleep deprived or just sleep deprived?

shabster · 13/06/2009 09:59

Morning girls xx

chegirl · 13/06/2009 20:56

Hello all,

You know why I dont come on here often? Because it doesnt show up when I do my usual search which is 'last day's posts' or something. DOH didnt realise it was hidden like 'special needs'.

Silly old tart that I am.

Anyway. Hello everyone.

Cant believe its been a years since Lewis was born!

Crumpette. You poor thing. Bastards!

Went to the zoo today and had a nice time with littlies.

Been getting down a lot. I dont cry because I learnt how NOT to when my darling was poorly. But I do this sort of gasp and grasp thing. I gasp because it hits me and grasp the steering wheel/buggy in disbelief and shock.

I must look well odd.

Its horrible and I just miss my Billie girl so much. And someone accused me of playing the 'victim' card on MN this week . See- I told you I shouldnt keep going on the other boards!

Love to you all and all our lovely kids.

lottiejenkins · 13/06/2009 21:24

I went to The Zoo Day last year Che,,,,,,,,,, was very exhausting!!!