Ciaran's Thread For Bereaved Mammies... Where It's Not About Finding The Answers, It's About Learning To Live With The Questions...

[Deemented]

Many many thanks to TW and Harry for passing the baton to myself and Ciaran.

Ladies, i found this poem, and thought it was particularly apt for this thread.

The Gift of Someone Who Listens

Those of us who have traveled awhile
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.
It wasn't the person with answers,
Who told us the ways to deal.
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.
Think of friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember
That, more than the words we speak,
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

LOL Lottie. Yep I am finished

But it was less exhausting than usual because I felt so much more relaxed in the environment IYSWIM

DS doesnt looks older than 6 but acts much younger. Get fed up with looks when he is acting like a 3 year old.

None of that today . Wry smiles in abundance though!

Che please could you link me to where you were accused of playing the victim card? I would like to air my views

I still get heartburn from swallowing all the time and I used to sigh really loudly and say 'Oh dear' all the time....I noticed myself doing it eventually but I still struggle to NOT do it.

Please link me to the thread. Ta darling xx

Morning girls xx

Good morning xx

Morning all.

Sorry to hear about your MN troubles Che, I don't understand people sometimes. Even if the poster thought you were playing the victim card (which I think they're talking out of their arse btw) couldn't they have just bitten their tongue and maybe had some compassion?

You back from holiday yet fm ? I hope you had a lovely time and could remember Fraser with a smile.

We met another couple who lost their firstborn son. We sort of hooked up through a mutual friend. They only lost their ds a couple of months ago and their grief was still so so raw and they were still in the slight disbelief stage too. It brought so many feelings back for us too, but ultimately I think it helped them realise that with time it doesn't hurt quite so much. We were glad to help but that night I slept dreadfully and constantly had C on my mind. God I miss him.

Ilike , I know how hard it is to see that raw pain on someone elses face . I am sure you have helped them , just knowing people can survive this awful road was enough for me .

Be kind to yourself too . I know it is a painful reminder when you see someone else on those early days .

I have been known to feel weirdly jealous that they are still there and being all consumed and how unfair it is that I have to now run my life and all that goes along with it .

Me nuts never ?

Hello all,

Shabs - I am sorry but I am not going to allow you to be drawn into this. The poster is toxic and will say anything! I will not have anyone on here exposed to her.

The thing that amazed me most is after she had done it, then been pulled up by a few posters, she said she had lost a child herself!

I have no reason to doubt her but I am astounded that any bereaved parent would say that to another. I have NEVER seen anything like it in the three years I have been bereaved myself.

She doesnt like me and has accused me of being racist already, then making money out of DS2 because I claim DLA and now this.

She is mad. I am very sorry she lost her child, I know how that can make a person so angry at the world. Its best to keep away, she will spit out anything to get at someone who disagrees with her.

The topic that causes such bile? Eczema!
(dont you DARE go looking Shabs!)

TW I know that feeling too. Isnt it strange?

You are norty!!

What a malaker Chegirl - I have seen her post before like that.

I know.

What can I say? She clearly dislikes me intensely. I dont want anything to start on our haven though. So best left alone.

I agree with you. Last time I had a major fall out I was banned for the weekend from MN and then the MNetter I was 'debating' with followed me on here!!!! Was not best pleased to say the least

Can you imagine the havoc she could cause on her?

Though she is a bereaved parent (because I cannot bring myself to believe otherwise). So she has every right to come here.

I admit to behaving differently on other threads than I do on here. I am not exactly mean but I can be a bit erm sharp sometimes.

Would NEVER do it on here though. NEVER.

Shabs! Fancy you getting banned! I cant believe it

I sent an email to Paul O Grady two weeks ago for Antonia, he read it out this evening and i'd only just switched the radio on and heard it too!! Sorry you are having a shit time Che, id love to be let loose on them, but probably best not as i would be more fierce than Shabs! Wilf told me to "fark off" this lunchtime that is actually how it sounded too!! I was not impressed to put it mildly and he wasnt happy when i wrote it in his home school book.
We had a lovely weekend, our school fete at the school where i work on Friday and Wilf was first in line to dunk the headmaster on the ducking stool!! then yesterday afternoon after shopping we went to the local park for the pre school olympics and bbq and beer! Wilf was surrogate big bro to my friends three year old Callum! I won £25 on the guess the number game! I picked 14 which is my birthday! He went back at 2.45 and the house is now very quiet!!

Sounds like you have a good week-end Lottie.

Oh yes Che - a full 48 hours I was on the naughty step - think if all the girls on here and the multiples thread hadn't have emailed MN HQ I would still be sat on the step I dared to criticise Cod after she had left MN and argued with Aitch....ah well - happy days xx

Hi girls

I have returned from a great week in the lakes.

We went to the zoo, the beach, on a steam train, on a boat and to various kids events on the park.

It was great just to spend some time as a family, going with the flow and not having a timetable to stick to.

I had a slight wobble when dh pointed out the caravan we stayed in the last time. I just couldnt help but remember the feeling of devastation and thinking I couldnt go on with life.

But then I had a bubble and thought.. well here I am creating some happy memories in this park with Ross .

I came back completely chilled out... till my mil had a go at me... but thats another story

I might go do my nosey chegirl.... (nosey cow emoticon)

Glad you had a good week FMammy - you are right when you say you are making memories for you and Ross - its so hard but its wonderful for Ross - well done.

Feel like I have the whole World pressing on my shoulders tonight - have been having nightmares for the last two nights - I hate this feeling - cant think of any reason for it.

((((Shabs))))

I hope you have a nightmare free night.

When I have those they stay with me all day

I hope yours go AWAY! I wish you nice dreams of your boys tonight.

Yes the nightmare has stayed with me all day and really un-nerved me - thanks I hope I do dream about Matty and Gareth tonight - that would be wonderful xxx

Morning girls - no dreams that I can remember, bad or otherwise

Good morning all xx

Sorry you have been having nightmares Shabs , I hate having my sleep buggered up , sets you up badly for the whole day

Che , I have had a nose around too , very odd indeed . Who would have thought curry leaves could cause so much hassle ?

fm , Glad you had a good time in the Lakes . It is one of my favourite places . We spent a lot of time there as children and I always had a great time . Well done for being brave enough to make some new memories there with Ross . I always found the first visit anwhere like that the hardest .

I am hoping to get a new car today . Ours is completely buggered . We did find one at the weekend that we liked but when we went back for it , it had already been sold . We are going away on Thurs so really need to get it sorted quickly .

Hope everyone is ok this morning x x

evening girls sorry havent been on but took my friend back to airport in manchester,havent been to bed since saturday night and then up at five for work so i can say i feel buggered,dh keeps saying go to bed but i know i wont sleep tonight if i go now.
glad you slept better with no nightmares shabs,have you tried lavendar spray

Go to bed Hazy!!!!

I hope you had a good night Shabs {{{hugs}}}

Glad you had a good holiday FM. We've revisited places and though it is initially hard, I feel better for it. {{{hugs for you too}}

Infact {{{hugs for us all}}}

I hope you managed to get a car TW.

Hello everyone, glad that your nightmares have gone Shabs, hope it continues... and sorry you've been having problems Che, although I am not as good a detective as everyone else seems to be - day at the zoo sounds brilliant though, I heart the zoo.

I'm pleased you managed to have a good holiday Frasersmummy, was that South Lakes Animal Park you were at (like I said, I heart the zoo )

Crumpette, for you, they really are a bunch of... well, my DH specialises in innovative swearing, and he'd probably come out with something like 'misbegotten buckets of whale cum'. Although Shabs' Greek swearing at least means they wouldn't know what you were saying. How are you pg-wise? I am sick! Booking in on Friday, am feeling less apprehensive now as it's still the same CMW and she was lovely.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but I think of you all often x

Morning girls xx