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Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

1000 replies

JungleZgok · 26/05/2022 05:44

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

OP posts:
Readtheroom · 26/05/2022 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit of the site and inappropriate

Pancakeorcrepe · 26/05/2022 19:07

I’m truly sorry to see your latest update; I hope the doctors are wrong. My prayers are with you and your gorgeous boy 💙

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 26/05/2022 19:08

Just read your update. I'm so sorry that you are all going through this, there is absolutely nothing that you could have done differently you sound like a fantastic Mum!

monarchoftheglen · 26/05/2022 19:09

I'm so, so, sorry.
Sending you love, light and strength.

lisavanderpumpscloset · 26/05/2022 19:13

I'm so so sorry this is happening to your baby boy. My heart hurts for you. You are all in my prayers. I hope God sends down a miracle for you and he pulls through 🙏🏽

Jadech · 26/05/2022 19:13

I am so sorry you are going through this 💔

MrsOvertonsWindow · 26/05/2022 19:14

Like everyone else, I'm thinking of you and your family tonight.

Cotherstone · 26/05/2022 19:15

I am so, so sorry. So many thoughts and so much love to you all xx

scoopoftheday · 26/05/2022 19:19

I am so sorry my love. My heart is aching for you and your boy.

I'll light my candle for you all x

Wingingit15 · 26/05/2022 19:19

Sending virtual strength and thoughts, I’m so sorry

Littlechef11 · 26/05/2022 19:20

All my love at this difficult time

Flimflamberdwidget · 26/05/2022 19:20

I'm so desperately sorry to read your update. Much love to you and all your family in these darkest of times.

Nard75 · 26/05/2022 19:21

I am so sorry to hear this sad update. May you and your family have the strength to get through this together 🙏🏽

Stripyhoglets1 · 26/05/2022 19:21

I'm so very sorry for whst you're going through.

Goatlady5812 · 26/05/2022 19:22

I am so desperately sorry to read this. I suffer badly too. I have three amazing children. But I can tell you there were and still are so many times I wanted to end everything- not because I didn’t want to live but because I didn’t want to live feeling like this so much of the time. It is completely and utterly debilitating and that’s putting it mildly. And there is very little family members can do. Because it takes over. Completely. I have the best Mum in the whole wide world but there is absolutely nothing she can do. And I see how much it breaks her. Please. Believe me when I say this is nothing to do with anything you did or didn’t do. You are in all of my thoughts and all of my prayers. X

WorriedMillie · 26/05/2022 19:23

Oh, OP, I’m so sorry to read your update, I can’t imagine how much this hurts right now. I hope you have some real life support, in addition to the collective MN love heading in your direction
Sending love and strength to you xxxxx

BuddhaAtSea · 26/05/2022 19:23

Sending you love and strength. Big hug xx

Madlymumming · 26/05/2022 19:23

I am so so very sorry. My heart breaks for you.

My eldest DS had a similar mental health crisis about a year ago. I am thankful every day that we pulled him back from the brink.

He was also prescribed that Q drug (unsure of correct name/spelling) and he did most certainly get considerably worse once he started it. Thankfully he was able to recognise that and stopped.

My thoughts are with you.

Dixiechickonhols · 26/05/2022 19:24

I am so sorry to see your update and my thoughts are with you and your family.

ILoveMyLifeToday · 26/05/2022 19:25

I am so so sorry OP. Even in your darkest time you've made all of our hearts ache for you and love our babies that much more. You are amazing, strong and inspiring. I'm praying for your son.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 26/05/2022 19:25

You are in my thoughts

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 26/05/2022 19:26

I’m really so very sorry. Depression is such a terrible illness and you and your family are in my thoughts. Wishing you strength, op.

Witchofthedales · 26/05/2022 19:28

I'm so, so sorry OP, sending the tightest of hugs, I am just heartbroken for you xx

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 26/05/2022 19:28

So very sorry to read this. Thinking of you and your family at this awful time. Flowers

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 26/05/2022 19:29

I'm so so sorry. Hoping against hope he pulls through.

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