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Bereavement

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Original poster

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even doSad

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 20/08/2013 21:53

Oh is that when you went to the caravan with your friends ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 20/08/2013 23:24

It was yeah

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mummylin2495 · 22/08/2013 10:26

Do you think you will get a holiday together at some point this year. Would do you a world of good. To get away together for a while

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 22/08/2013 13:01

I would like to yeah. It's difficult because he has to pre book all his holidays in April, and now our stores been taken over by a new franchise I have less than no idea how to book a holiday!

I heard a rumour that it was done online but we've not been told explicitly what to do. conveniently

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mummylin2495 · 22/08/2013 13:41

Surely you are still entitled to any holiday you have accrued despite being taken over. They have to honour holidays

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 22/08/2013 15:21

Something along those lines yeah. I find it very confusing. I preferred the old system where I just tell the manager I was going away and he just did whatever managers do.

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mummylin2495 · 22/08/2013 21:23

Just wrote you. Post and site went off.ine !!
If you have continuation of service from when your old company was the ou should be allowed your normal holiday entitlement, ie if you ae still working under the terms of your old contract , your holidays should be the same I would just ask your manager what you are entitled to . Can't shoot you can he !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 23/08/2013 01:37

Nah he'd be fine. If he even knows himself!

It can't be hard I'm sure. Unless they don't ever want us going on holiday but that seems counter productive.

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Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 24/08/2013 02:21

So I'm not actually sleeping much.

It's been 3 months but I just seem to lie awake replaying it all. Is that normal? I guess it could be a delayed reaction because I was so numb to start with, but I don't cry or get angry I just...lay there.

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mummylin2495 · 24/08/2013 10:20

I think it's natural, in a way it's a bit like having post traumatic stress. Now it is all over your brain is trying to process things, you may actually need something from your doc. Or if you don't want that try taking some nytol . There is no doubt it's all connected, you coped so well but your body reacting differently now. After all you went through a massive shock and somewhere along the line your mind and body going to be really tested. Although you prob feel well in yourself, your body reacting opposite, I would discuss with doc .

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 24/08/2013 13:04

I think I best do yeah. Meant to go to the bank this morning and because I didn't get to sleep til 5/6 I've only just rolled out of bed. Not helpful! I might see if I can get some more kalms, they worked really well.

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mummylin2495 · 24/08/2013 20:23

You could try rescue remedy , think you can get that in any chemist. You need to look after yourself before you become ill. You have done so well but sooner or later things catch up with you . Seek help early rather than later

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 25/08/2013 00:49

Definitely need something. I'm so very tired and won't be managing at work very well with no energy and we're kind of coming out the other side of our money blip. Don't want to slip again really as that's just more stress that we don't need.

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mummylin2495 · 25/08/2013 00:59

If I were you I would make apt with your doc, you may actually need some sort of counselling too, but you do need to be able to sleep.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 25/08/2013 02:02

I will. It will have to be Tuesday now because of bloody bank holiday, although its only 3 nights to get through I suppose. I've been coming down and getting cups of redbush tea which helps a little (no caffeine) but its not exactly ideal.

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mummylin2495 · 25/08/2013 02:05

Yes I thought that myself about the bank holiday, but you can ring on tues and make apt.it won't hurt for you to have a bit of help

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 25/08/2013 02:44

I really feel like I need it now, I wasn't so bad at first. Like you say though its all catching up with me. If I make it to sleep before 4 tonight and don't get kept awake by neighbour man going to work then we're set.

Need to be up at a reasonable time tomorrow to see a friend before she has her baby!

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mummylin2495 · 25/08/2013 11:58

Oh is the baby due soon ? How lovely. They are so cute. How people can hurt them I don't know. They are all F ing bastards. I think the next baby in my family will be my niece( better not be one of my grandkids ) !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 25/08/2013 12:21

She's got a weekGrin

I love babies. I think the next one will be mine in our family. I have two aunties but I don't think they're having anymore and my cousins only 7!

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mummylin2495 · 25/08/2013 12:38

Will watch this space for the announcement Grin

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 25/08/2013 23:52

Got some kalms and some vanilla camomile tea. Should work, if not then it's only two nights.

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mummylin2495 · 26/08/2013 01:52

Yes hopefully that will do until you can get to your doc. Hope they can give you a quick apt , down our surgery we are lucky if we can see someone before a week !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 26/08/2013 11:10

Ours are okay if you're willing to be awake at 8.30. Which is a stupid time.

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mummylin2495 · 27/08/2013 12:42

Did you manage to get to doc today or have you made your apt ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 28/08/2013 02:05

I wasn't up in time. I have been okay the last couple of nights and slept A LOT so I figure I might be okay for now.

Only just got home from work though so it'll be another late morning tomorrow, but with a good reason this time at least. Not doing it again tomorrow, making DP a korma instead. Trying to do nice little things slightly outside of my comfort zone so I can feel good about the achievement iyswim?

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