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Bereavement

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Original poster

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even doSad

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 15/08/2013 17:13

Tidally = actually !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 15/08/2013 21:11

Everything seems very complex and as mature as I am I don't think I'm quite mature enough for this.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 16/08/2013 10:39

It dosent matter how old you are. To lose your mum is just awful and for you the circumstances were terrible. I cannot stop grieving for my mum. I am older with adult children and its now 21 months since I lost her, I am still devastated, so can't imagine how you have coped. You have done brilliantly. It takes a while to accept and even I haven't reached that point yet . It has changed the test of my life which will never be the same and it has changed me too . I can never be completely happy again. All we can do is press on and get through each day as best we can . It's horrible keep your chin up

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 16/08/2013 12:53

I think you're right. Nothing will ever be the same. There'll be a gap in my wedding photos and a visitor missing when I give birth.

We found out last night DPs work(large supermarket) has used the whole event in their employee magazine. Advertising how much they raised for us and all the help we got. Bloody cheek. We have had nothing from them, they haven't asked if its okay, and poor DP didn't even know until he opened it and it was a shock for him. I think they forget he lost someone too... He told my dad when he was round last night and neither of us are impressed but I don't think there's anything we can do really.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 16/08/2013 17:29

I would be fuming, especially if basically what they have printed is lies. What a cheek. Why on earth did they think they could do that without even having the decency to speak to you about it in the first place ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 16/08/2013 17:50

Or at least DP! It's vile. But my dad (sensible as ever) has told me not to worry - no point getting wound up over something we can't change.

But now DPs had everyone at work starting again with questions 'how's Chubby? How's her dad? Do they know the cause blah blah' and he's very stressed about it allSad

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 16/08/2013 21:19

Yes it must be quite wearing for him. And people shouldn't. Be so rude as to ask actually. He will just have to say he hasn't heard anything yet and leave it at that. It's very insensitive of them and I'm sure he dosent want to put up with it all day at work

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 17/08/2013 01:52

Not really. He seemed in a much better mood tonight so hopefully they've laid off him a bit today.

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Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 18/08/2013 00:27

Stupid iPhone won't let me reply to PMs. But I have got all three and am gratefulBlush

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 18/08/2013 01:00

Hope when he goes back to work next week. They leave him alone . You been working tonight ?
Been awful day here weatherise, rain rain rain ! Those 2 little kittens I told you about have both settled onto their new home now. I saw them on Wednesday. They are sweet

mummylin2495 · 18/08/2013 01:07

Chubby was. That last mess for me cause I haven't sent any pm,s ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 18/08/2013 10:32

The message about PMs was to others. OopsyBlush

Aw the kittens sound lovely I'm glad they're settled!

I did work last night(on my birthday) and it rained for us and I ended up walking home in it!

Fingers crossed for today being nice my auntie is throwing me a barbecue Smile

I did have a little cry last night after work though but I think it was probably allowed. DP said it was.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 18/08/2013 12:40

Yes of course it's allowed. Especially on your birthday. It's special times it all hits home. Yes it poured here all day too I am also going to BBQ this afternoon at my brothers. Quite sunny here at the moment.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 18/08/2013 12:48

Sun seems to be sticking today. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:
NappyHappy · 18/08/2013 13:08

They're from me. Should be a link to a fb page that makes diamonds from ashes??

NappyHappy · 18/08/2013 13:09

Happy Birthday btw!

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 19/08/2013 11:43

Thank youSmile

The barbecue went okay. I think everybody had a nice time which is good.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 20/08/2013 00:45

Glad you had a good weekend and I hope you had lots of bday presents ! What did you get ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 20/08/2013 01:25

Lots of wine and rum and bath things, a huge box of clothes and shoes (with a t shirt with a cat with SwagSmile) and Beyonce perfume. Got some money too and will be treating me and DP to something deep fried and delivered in plastic tubs. Nom.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 20/08/2013 01:41

Something deep fried sounds good to me ! Was the weather ok for the BBQ ? We went to my brothers and although rain threatened it stayed away. Nice not having to cook at home !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 20/08/2013 10:31

It was boiling all day, I think I might have burnt slightly on my shoulders. It was terribly windy though so there was ash everywhere!

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mummylin2495 · 20/08/2013 12:52

A along as you we joyed it. Get yourself a spray of cooling gel, that would help your shoulders. Supposed to be getting really hot by weekend when my ds will have his rearranged bbq. So what did your DP get you for your birthday ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 20/08/2013 15:25

He got me some pink D&D dice and a bunch of roses and gave me some holiday money and a signed photo of Kryten :)

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 20/08/2013 17:32

Sounds like you were thoroughly spoilt Grin and you deserve it. Where you going for a holiday then , are you going together somewhere ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 20/08/2013 21:04

I went to skeg last weekend. He gave me it early thigh, a lot of people did so I could waste it get some toys haha.

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