This is what I don't understand.

[seeker]

You think of a name you want to use, but you are worried enough about the teasing potential of whether you are "brave" enough that you come on a the internet and ask a group of random strangers what they think.

Surely, if you have concerns (and posting about it means you do) then you just don't do it?

Yes, the chances are that your child won't be teased, but why run the risk?

Yes, by the time your child is applying for jobs maybe everyone will be called by a random collection of letters or a geographical feature so employers will no longer make judgments about people based on their names. But this may not have happened, so, once again, why risk it?

And yes, people will always find something to tease people about, but why hand them the opportunity on a plate?

Yes, your child might be a strong, confident person who can carry off their unusual name and love it, but he or she might be quiet, timid and unconfident, and may find it a burden to be called Basingstoke-Montmorency. Again, why risk it.

yy and posting it on the net means you are guaranteed some bad responses too. never seen a thread where everyone loves the name in question.

I think what you're forgettign though seeker is temporary pregnancy insanity. I looked down at ds when he was born and almost, almost called him a name that, combined with my surname, would have actually ruined his life. Think A Nurse, P Nurse, along those lines. Thankfully I saw sense before I'd even uttered the words, but it was this close

I do agree with all you say - if you're talking about riske, ludicrously spelt, made-up 'yooniq' names. In all honesty, if you have to ask, then just don't do it. It's not you who has to live with the name.

But most a lot of the names threads on here aren't ludicrous - they're just people tossing ideas around and getting feedback, which is better than asking people in real life, I think.

Personally, we decided on DD-to-be's name when I was pregnant with DS1. We haven't told anyone IRL the name, and I haven't posted on here asking for opinions because I don't need them. We're set on the name.

"I think what you're forgettign though seeker is temporary pregnancy insanity."

I do speak as one, who very briefly, in a pregnancy-hormone induced fit of insanity, actually toyed with "Halcyon"......

My db says that women should not be allowed to choose baby names for this very reason!

If a child is target for teasing/bullying, then ANY name will be teaseable.

In fact, the only boy who seems to get teased in my ds's class is a William and gets called 'Willy'....

I tested a few names on here. But by far the best indication is to get a feel for the name by using it. I liked (and got a good response) to a couple of names that I tested on here but I felt uncomfortable using them in public or telling people the name! In the end we changed it (twice) and did not register baby for a month.

Having said that, I understand why people ask for opinion on an uncommon name or if a name is used by 'chavs'. When you have your first you may not know many other kids/parents of youngest.

Also, I have had my 2 but cannot stop looking at baby name books/this section. Why? God only knows.......

I think you can fall in love with a name and desperately want it to be alright.

Whilst I love slagging off commenting on mad name choices, I do agree with Seeker.

I'd say if you need to ask someone else if it's all right, then the likelihood is, it isn't.

But don't take my fun away.....

I'd be interested to know how many have actually chosen their child's name because of the response they got on here.

When we were expecting dd2, dd3 and dd4 we didnt tell anyone our chosen names because we found with dd1 that we had negative comments from a few saying they disliked our choice and why (dd1's name is unusual). It made me doubt whether we should call her what we did, but am now very glad we ignored them and everyone tells dd1 how much she suits her name and how pretty it is.

I never once considered 'teasing potential' when thinking of names for our DC.

My friends with plain names at school still got teased. Surnames are a greater source of teasing than first names in my opinion, and there is nowt you can do about those.

I don't understand why people give a shit, really.

In my experience children do not get teased for having a less usual name. Children do not even know what names are popular and which ones aren't. They also don't care about whether a name is 'posh' or 'chav', or whether a name is foreign. And that is good! It seems that some of us adults have issues with anything less than usual - I can only hope that these parents don't pass on their prejudices to their children.

And if a child becomes targets for teasers/bullies then he/she will be teased regardless of her name, because almost ANY name can be made fun of with a bit of imagination.

I had a friend called Claire who was relentlessly teased and called Hairy Claire throughout secondary school. The boy in my class called (seriously, I promise) Wizard got a few comments at the start of term and then nothing else.

I agree. People should give their children the names they want and not worry about silly bullies and teasing.

Who gives a fig about what other people's badly brought up children might say about the name in school. I hope to teach my kid(s) that they should be proud of their name and if anyone gives them grief in school it's just a reflection on what they are taught and treated like at home.

And the other thing to bear in mind is that the people answering these threads may have completely different tastes/values to the person asking the question.

What if the person who says she/he hates the name Leander (which I love, by the way) in fact loves the name Jayden (which I hate)?

My ds's name has often been described as 'poncy' on mumnset, with the comment that he will be bullied unless he goes to private school .

He is now 8 years old, goes to our local state primary school and has never, ever been teased about his name, it has never come up... in fact, we often get comments about how 'lovely and unusual' his name is.

I agree - people should choose what they want - children don't bully or tease because of a name, they bully or tease for other reasons. If children hear that a name is weird, they've heard it from their parents - who should know better.

I've been 'told off' by you, seeker for my name ideas on previous posts, and (in the nicest possible way, I promise) your opinion doesn't bother me all that much, because you are a random stranger I'm never going to meet. But the reason I post my choices/ideas on here is to get my ideas into the open, to get a general consensus with people I consider to be intelligent, educated and open to names other than the really conservative (I mean, I can get that from my DH!). It would upset me/drive me mad to talk to my family and my DH's to hear their opinions, ideas and 'helpful suggestions'. So for me, it's worth the few negative comments - to get some real feedback.

"children don't bully or tease because of a name, "

Want to bet?

"Want to bet?" - how exactly could that be proved one way or another? A bit of a daft bet, surely?

Children bully and tease because they have decided a child smells or they think the other child is weird or they've come from a different school, because of their accent, because they wear school uniform, because of their shoes - because they are deemed physically different in some way.

I speak from experience. And I have a name that could have been picked on but wasn't.

I didn't have the internet when I was pg, but almost everyone I spoke top told me not to give DD that name-Too hard to spell and pronounce, silly and not an English name

I loved it so did call her it. It's Niamh, so not even that unusual, and I still love it, and she's never been bothered by people spelling/pronouncing it wrong. She likes her name.

If she ever hates it, she has Elizabeth as a middle name, which comes with so many variations she has plenty of choice.

I agree with Lulu - in my experience, if a child is going to be teased, the teasers will find a reason, be it name, hair colour, nose, whatever.

Also agree with previous posters about the fact that we may hate the choices of those mumsnetters that don't like our choices. We all have different tastes, thats ok!

And finally, wouldn't it be boring if we all named our children Jack and Grace.... the whole point of NAMING something or someone is to uniquely identify it/her/him.

Yes - sophiesmummy - that's one thing easy to forget, that people who dislike our name choices, probably haven't used names we like either - and often, the people who do just heavily criticise name choices, offer no suggestions at all - just the negative comment.

I respect other people's right to pick the names they like - and, as my Nan used to say, if I can't say anything nice, I don't say anything at all.

But, crikey, imagine that we all called our children the same, safe names? Well, there'd be no need for this forum for a start.