This is what I don't understand.

[seeker]

You think of a name you want to use, but you are worried enough about the teasing potential of whether you are "brave" enough that you come on a the internet and ask a group of random strangers what they think.

Surely, if you have concerns (and posting about it means you do) then you just don't do it?

Yes, the chances are that your child won't be teased, but why run the risk?

Yes, by the time your child is applying for jobs maybe everyone will be called by a random collection of letters or a geographical feature so employers will no longer make judgments about people based on their names. But this may not have happened, so, once again, why risk it?

And yes, people will always find something to tease people about, but why hand them the opportunity on a plate?

Yes, your child might be a strong, confident person who can carry off their unusual name and love it, but he or she might be quiet, timid and unconfident, and may find it a burden to be called Basingstoke-Montmorency. Again, why risk it.

Didn't read the whole thread, but in response to the OP:

I think it would be a very boring world if we all opted for 'safe' names just to avoid silly comments from other people's badly brought up children. I'd rather we taught our children to respect differences - especially in an increasingly global society.

We parents have to try to stop ourselves from being so judgemental - children don't regard names as 'posh', 'chav', 'unique' or unusual - to them they are just the names of their mates.

So, please, lets all try to be a bit more open minded. And if you still want to call your baby Jack or Grace, then that's fine too.

how, exactly, do you know the posters are British, annasophia?

I don't SoupDragon. It is just the impression that I get based on my own experience of life here in the UK as well as the other countries that I have lived in.

My ds's name, which is in the top 10 in France, has been described as 'likely to make him gay', 'poncey' and that 'we'd better send him to private school'. I assume that the posters are British as I have never, ever come across such a reaction abroad.

I know Elizabeths of all ages, it's true - it is properly timeless - Graces and Phoebes - the eldest I've encountered must be 20 at the most, and whilst nice names, I wonder if they'll conjour up a particular couple of decades in time? You'll be able to tell more or less how old they are - like being called Brenda or Christine, Sarah or Claire?

That is because Elizabeth has always been used by a few people and was never 'popular' as in 8000 babies a year being named it.

On the other hand very popular names (e.g. Sharon or Sarah in the 1970s Grace or Jack in the 2000s) are by definition fashionable and trendy and will date much more, especially as people tire of the name and stop using it.

So that would be another reason to look for less popular names that (by definition) not everyone will love!

And, therefore, going back to the OP, a risk worth taking? Yup - for me too.

That is why I like Elizabeth, it is never madly popular but there are always a few. Likewise Sarah is my favourite name-it was madly popular at one time but there are always a few. I know Graces and Jacks of all ages-certainly older than 20. I know a Hilda in her 40's and that seems really weird. Hilda is an old lady or a baby-and will have a brief popularity, with some people.
I can't really think that Beryl will ever make the top 100, never mind the top 10!
I think that I would rather have an unusual one, than be the top favourite of my birth year.
If people ask, which seems silly to me,they should at least take note of the downsides mentioned.

i think what people have to remember is that its not them that have to take the risk. It is the child who has to live with the name, not the parents.
I wish someone had taken my parents to one side and asked them WTF they thought they were doing.

One third of the girls in DDs class have the same name. Terribly confusing. SUrely there is a balance to be struck. Agree with seeker that really out there names might invite unnecessary hassle but venturing outside the top 10 and not following the herd is surely a good thing?

3 of my immediate family are teachers they say teasing because of names is less common due to quite wacky names becoming more frequently used and of course people from different cultures adding their names into the mix.

Hmmm - but I was a child of the 70s and I was in a class with lots of Sarahs (identified by the initial of their surname) - and weirdly, 2 Annabelles, a couple of Emmas - and it has sort of put me off the name - and though I see that it's timeless - I probably still know more women called Sarah than any other name.

I haven't got a DD but if I had I would have called her Sarah, I loved it as a DD and I love it now. Women of all ages are called Sarah. You can work out the exact age of a Freda,Tracy and Ruby.

I'm mostly with seeker on this one, and don't understand why people think that the choice is either wacky/unusual or Jack/Grace, when there are thousands of names to choose from. You can quite easily pick something not commonly used but that carries no risk of a WTF reaction.

I have a very unusual name which I love, but it also has a short version that was very common in the 70's. I had the option of picking that and blending in should I have chosen (I didn't). My dh on the other hand had a very very common name (No1 in the year he was born) but only came across lots of other guys with his name at university, where it did cause problems because he wasn't very happy about having "big" or "tall" or "lanky" stuck in front of his name, which is what older children tend to go for rather than the firstname initial approach of junior school.

My children have names that we liked, and that were intended to strike a balance between rare and overused. We didn't discuss them with anyone (I hadn't found MN then though). We were going to call ds2 ("he" turned out to be dd) a fairly unusual name, but ds's name suddenly became popular a year or two after he was born, and dd's nickname is a permanently popular name.

Oh, and the only school that ds has been bullied at was in the States, and it knocked his confidence completely (and it happened at a school that blithely said "we don't have bullies here").

Apart from for DS whose name is in top 20 (DH's choice, not mine - though I have a really hard time picking boys' names) our DDs have relatively uncommon/not poular names (at least, for now) - but they're not names that are weird. Sometimes we get a 'I've not heard that before' with DD1's name - but usually followed by 'that's really pretty' - but we had loads of resitance from DH's family to this name as they opt for the Lucy/Emma/Matthew names - If I'd known about MN then, I'd've posted - but it doesn't mean that we were unsure of it - we knew we wanted it - but we needed something to counter the reaction we got from family members. DD2 has a name that everyone knows, but not many children are called so far - so I know that you don't have to use Jack/Grace as alternatives - but they seem to be the default name in our area, at least.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the choice is between 1) very common Jack/Grace type names or 2) ridiculous, made up names. Not at all and the latter is clearly in no ones interest!

What I feel is that there are so many lovely names that out there (over 2000 boys names were used last year alone, I think) that we don't need to name over 8000 boys Jack in one year alone! That is just simply boring and lacks imagination imo. And, having been known as Clare B all through my school years, I don't think that all the Jacks are going to like it either.

But when parents do try hard to find a more unique name for their baby, many mumsnetters are very discouraging and narrow minded, saying the parents are 'trying hard' - yes, indeed they are trying hard and we should encourage this!

What I wish is that we all try to be a bit more open minded and WELCOME more diversity in names, especially as the world becomes more global!