AIBU Books Game Part Seven

[CJCregg]

Hi all, here we are again ...

As always, everyone welcome to pile in with AIBU book synopses, as long as you bring ice cream or something equally tempting for when we're stuck.

To continue mine - I'm in charge but it's terribly difficult to keep control. I don't know how long I can keep their respect. I didn't ask to be in charge ...

,Treacle! I am amazed that DH can fall asleep sitting at the computer,but he's never managed it at work with other people present!

I hate to ask,Elephants - but is he destined to be someone's dinner?

...well,I thought I was too small,but now I am too big and I'm being attacked by the local wildlife...

MCP!

Ah, Pogle - have you been indulging in magic mushrooms? And items labelled 'eat me' and 'drink me'?

I'm starving and he won't let me have anything to eat - says there's something wrong with the food, for some reason. I'd be able to cope better if I'd had some bloody sleep ...

Fraid so,CJ - I should have known better really,and now I'm being harassed by a pigeon!

Is he stopping you from sleeping as well,or are you sleepless for a different reason?

Hurray!

Yes, it's his fault I can't sleep either. The food's not good enough, the bed's not good enough ... I'll be saying black is white next!

Hmmmm...this all sounds terribly familiar..

So it's that the food isn't good enough ,rather than that it's dangerous?

(Presumably as it's you the problem isn't that if you eat the food you'll have to stay in Elfland forever! )

Hmm....

Totally lost here!

...I was really pleased to be sent here, but it's not as peaceful as I expected...

D'you know what Pogle and CJ are talking about? Things labelled 'eat me' and 'drink me' means Alice in Wonderland but I don't remember a sodding pigeon in that! Have they been at the magic mushrooms?

I don't remember a pigeon either but I thought I'd just keep quiet and keep the kudos

Now he wants me to say the sun is the moon. I'm so bloody tired I'd say anything for a quiet life. Mind you, he is quite sexy ...

There is a pigeon,honest!(which I only remembered from riffling through the book,in search of bits that would make it slightly less blatantly obvious who I was...)
It thinks Alice is after its eggs,and keeps calling her a serpent....

Oh,help and bother - can I have some Pimms??!

So,what are your co-habitants doing,Treacle,to make you think they're mad?

Well, I suppose I believe you, Pogle

...Well, everyone is just terribly eccentric. There's the vicar who makes bombs, for starters...

Would that be the drestructive type of bombs, Treacle, or the rather tasty bombe dessert?

...well, I don't think they'd kill anyone, but I wouldn't like one thrown at me! Even the king here is a bit mad; he seems to be very fond of cocktails...

MCP! Who's still going?

Hey CJ, is your sister a bit of a prissy do-gooder? If so, I would kick Petruchio in the nuts and go to live in a feminist commune play along with his ego trip, then totally p*ss her off by out-smugging her when you get back!

Well, Pogle, it's a bit delicate, but yes I'm afraid so. There's not much I can do about it practically, but I'm racking my (considerable) brains for a way out of his terribly perilous situation...

Aha,so do you perhaps possess more legs than the rest of us,Elephants?
If so,I think you'll sort it - you are pretty clever!

Elephants, I like your feminist commune idea! Unfortunately I'll have to put up with showing how loyal I am to my new husband. Maybe life will improve after the curtain comes down?! (Hand beneath his foot - pah!)

MCP on treacle's, please.

Nice to see the thread perking up - must be the Pimm's (hic)

More Pimms, more Pimms! Am relying on alcohol to get me through this week in one piece (says she, reeling slightly)

...and now everyone seems to be even more crazy than usual thanks to this hydro-electric dam...

I saw a brilliant production of the Taming of the Shrew once, CJ, where the "honeymoon" bit was done like a really tiresome camping trip, typical 1950s tourist style. Do I get a PITA new husband Good Wife Award for getting that one? Can you imagine TSotS as a Relationships thread?

Well, Pogle, I don't have more legs than you, Moomin, Poledra and Treacle put together! You're right, it's time I employed my extensive vocabulary (and some of my back limbs) to save poor Wilbur...

AIBU to be having a wardrobe malfunction?

OOOOOOOH PIMMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did I miss that just now? I have fresh mint, ice, cucumber and pink straws at the ready.

Ho ho - I spend a lot of my time explaining to DS why what I said wasn't quite what I meant("I'm old - what do you expect" is the commonest explanation!),and that applies to the whole legs thing too.... how about "more legs than any of us" ?

More Pimms,please
and MCP!

...Despite my amazing musical abilities I don't seem to be quite properly dressed...

Treacle,have you been sent to this island in the course of your work?

Wrong clothes,Elephants? Too many? Too few? No clothes at all??

MCP!

Pogle, yes, I'm here for work... I think my uncle is hoping to use me as a spy but I don't really get on with him at all...

MCP everyone!

Well,that's absolutely no help at all!
In the day since I asked,I've managed to forget where I was going with the question,but possible spies had nothing to do with it!

MCP!

Sorry it's been so long - RL took over.

Elephants, you most certainly get an award, although I'm not sure a Good Wife one is the most appropriate (unless you're going to be Alicia Florick, in which case I heartily approve ). Saw Taming of the Shrew recently, which is why it was on my mind. I don't know why, but it never hit me before how appallingly, shockingly sexist it is.

Your inappropriately dressed musician (?) is sounding familiar, but I can't get it ...

MCP and hello all!