Noel Radford

[Anarchy99]

AIBU to point out that Noel Radford got together with his now wife very young and they had their first baby when she was THIRTEEN and he was SEVENTEEN.

Four years difference but a lifetime in maturity. A man old enough to drive a car and a child.

As others are in the firing line for age differences despite no implication of any wrongdoing, is everyone okay with this?

If so, why? Is it because they were in care?

Why are children allowed to drive?

They may be a minor but not a child.

Many a time Sue has said on Facebook over the years that they were taking legal action as she was sick of Noel being called a paedo. She even once did a status saying she had a friend who worked in MN and she was going to tell her who started threads about them. I don't think anyone has been sued yet, but many threads on here in the past have been pulled fairly quickly.

I’m not suggesting it was dodgy but surely you can see that having a baby at 13 with a 17yo man could be seen as problematic

After nearly four decades in children's social care, I can assure you this isn't an isolated case. There are hundreds, probably thousands, of couples with similar backgrounds across the country—particularly across different cultures. It seems less about genuine concern and more about picking on a family simply because they’re in the media.

Or are you going to hunt down everyone who was in the same situation and name and shame them?

Someone up thread said it was Sue's choice to have all of these kids rather than Noel's. I used to follow the four or five families that originally appeared on the 13 Kids and Counting shows. They've nearly all split up, with the women saying the men were abusive and keeping them pregnant was part of the abuse. None of this came across in the programs at all.

Not at all. You have explained why you don’t have an issue with it.

And there was the question really - it is interesting to see why people don’t have an issue with this situation whereas there have been hundreds of threads about various men, judging their situations.

Not at all. You have explained why you don’t have an issue with it.
And there was the question really - it is interesting to see why people don’t have an issue with this situation whereas there have been hundreds of threads about various men, judging their situations.

Can you highlight the bit where I said i didn't have an issue with it.

Well it sounds like you are projecting, with your attitude that ‘lots do it, you are just picking on them because they are famous’.

Why would you think it wasn’t about genuine concern? Wouldn’t most people be concerned about any situation like this? It seems like a natural reaction to it.

I can’t name and shame the non-famous ones, because I’m not in children’s services - lucky that you are, isn’t it.

Yeah, that's the thing. If we hunted down every man, who had tried it on with/had sex with an underage teenage girl - over the past 60+ years - when they were 18 or older themselves, (and charged them with sexual offences,) half the men in the world would be banged up.

I am not saying it's OK for a 18-19 year old to be with a 15 year old, but since time began, this has happened, men have gone for younger women - sometimes underage.

All we can do is stop it happening from now on, and put measures in place to prevent it. (I don't know what!) But trying to shame every man who has dated an underage teenage girl younger than him (and every single one since the dawn of time) is just ridiculous IMO. Most women could get half a dozen men put away right now if we were all to 'come forward' and report all (older) men we have had this type of experience with...

As I say, I am not saying it's acceptable, but dragging up stuff from DECADES ago, (and trying to bring shame on men, or even charges!) especially when the women themselves have no complaints - like Noel's wife - is just ludicrous IMO.

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They were 13 and 17.

It is interesting that it’s just dismissed as ‘one of those things’.

There has been a witch hunt for the last few days about anyone famous with an age gap relationship or who has been deemed to have started a relationship with a young teen.

I just wondered why two people with careers but a ten year age gap are problematic but younger people aren’t.

Is it possible that all circumstances are different and that people are complicated?

They were just a famous example.

This was a response to some of the more spiteful threads this week which have assumed that any age gap relationship is dodgy.

My understanding is that they both came from difficult backgrounds and ended up together. There is no suggestion that anyone was exploited.

But the double standards with these threads is interesting and I was genuinely curious.

Well it sounds like you are projecting, with your attitude that ‘lots do it, you are just picking on them because they are famous’.
Why would you think it wasn’t about genuine concern? Wouldn’t most people be concerned about any situation like this? It seems like a natural reaction to it.
I can’t name and shame the non-famous ones, because I’m not in children’s services - lucky that you are, isn’t it.

Observing that a situation isn't unique is a statement of fact, not an endorsement. If you genuinely can't tell the difference between professional context and personal approval, there’s really no point continuing this.
Re-hashing a 30 something year relationship on a gossip thread isn't 'genuine concern'—it's just rubbernecking

Seeing that you are so invested, what would you like to happen to them seeing that you started a thread about thread them?

I dont suppose much can be done seeing that they appear to be happy grandparents of a long and apparently successful marriage.

Why would I want anything to happen?

Yet again I was asking why some situations are acceptable and some aren’t, just based on ages.

You were the first to explain the reason.

Google is your friend

Yet again I was asking why some situations are acceptable and some aren’t, just based on ages

It’s not a matter of people not caring or obe situation being more acceptable
Purely from my pov as a worker in childrens services it’s just nearly impossible to physically stop two young people from seeing each other. When they are in the care system, it’s even harder. Without a Deprivation of Liberty (DoLS) order, carers can't legally lock them inside. They have free time, they go out with friends, and teenage relationships happen.
Also, while a 17-year-old dating a 13-year-old looks predatory on paper, the reality isn't always that black and white. Most 16- and 17-year-old boys are quite immature and often behave much younger than their age.

At the end of the day, if they do end up pregnant, nobody can force a termination.
Once you reach that point, the only thing left to do is offer support.