Noel Radford

[Anarchy99]

AIBU to point out that Noel Radford got together with his now wife very young and they had their first baby when she was THIRTEEN and he was SEVENTEEN.

Four years difference but a lifetime in maturity. A man old enough to drive a car and a child.

As others are in the firing line for age differences despite no implication of any wrongdoing, is everyone okay with this?

If so, why? Is it because they were in care?

It wasn’t where I lived.

And there’s a huge difference between a pregnancy between 2 16yos, which was still a scandal in our school in 1987, and one between a 13 yo and a 17 yo where the 13 yo could not consent to sex.

@TheFairyCaravan but statistically we did have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Western Europe certainly throughout the 1990s and I think during the early parts of the 2000s too, and you can see this reflected in a lot of the books, TV and popular culture of the time (Sarah Platt?)

I don’t disagree there is a huge difference; I’ve argued that very point myself on this thread. But as much as you see the difference and I see the difference, I am not convinced that it was seen at the time. Working class girls were seen as mature (in the same way black girls have been as well in a more modern setting) and on a sort of equal footing with men. That’s one of the reasons it took so long for the grooming gangs to be exposed: they were almost exclusively abusing working class girls from deprived communities.

I have been pointing this out all
over the place today. Just to reiterate I’m not suggesting anything nefarious. ch5 would have done their due diligence, they have been together decades and it’s all worked out but have just stated the facts and asked how people see that situation, just based on ages.

But the oh do fuck off dear to someone who expresses an opinion which isn’t the same as yours suggests you’re not canvassing opinions but agreement. Which is fine but be upfront about it.

YANBU but in the context of Brand and Walliams, 17 is described as a ‘child’. So which is it? Either they’re children or they’re not, they don’t change according to the circumstances.

I’m afraid I’m old enough to remember Bill Wyman being in a relationship with the child Mandy Smith. He was absolutely not referred to as a nonce in mainstream media, he was lauded in fact and she was referred to as a good time girl. It was of course illegal and absolutely disgusting but he was not condemned

He’s had a lot of heat on social media about it already. It isn’t something I feel overly strongly about, though i’d certainly have discouraged it if my son announced he was dating a 13yr old at 17. In a very strong way. Life was different in the 90’s, and my friends and I all dated older boys and had underage sex. Maybe why it doesn’t shock me.

C5 may have to consider their content though in light on the Brand / Walliams cases. I used to enjoy their programme years ago when it was about budgeting etc, then they got rich and Sue became obsessed with spending money when she had to stop having babies and the scripted nonsense is, well nonsense. Surprised anyone still watches it given the negative feedback I see about the scripted stuff.

I don't know why people think this is OK. What 17 year old doesn't see a 13 year old as a much younger kid?? No, 17 isn't the same as a fully grown adult but it's still wrong. How many parents on here would really allow that age gap if their child was on either side? I just don't really believe anyone would be happy with that.

No.

I don’t think we knew what that meant.

In fact, probably the opposite. My friend had bagged one of the most handsome young men we knew, kind of a cross between John Travolta and David Essex 😍, the older brother of another of our friends. We were quite jealous. Lucky her! I can still name and picture him now.

There was quite a thing about losing your virginity, you hadn’t grown up till you had, celebrations when you did. I never admitted to still being a virgin whilst at school.

Secretly, as I grew up, though I was proud that my boyfriend and I didn’t sleep together until we were engaged and I had graduated. I wanted to sleep with the man I was commuted to for life. I was 22, though he was 19.

And not by MS’s mum either. Fully supportive.

MS’s mum married BW’s son.

I don’t think anyone thinks it’s ok.

I agree that 17 is described as a child on some threads but not on others. For me I think the difference is if the 17 year old in question is male or female, female and MN thinks they are a minor or child but male and they are suddenly an adult and old enough to drive. There’s absolutely zero consistency or rational thinking behind any of these threads the past few days.

Actually no - males are still children until about 30 accordingly to MN

It’s not that hard - seventeen year old being molested by a celebrity in his thirties is vulnerable, isn’t it? But if the seventeen year old in question is sleeping with a thirteen year old that abuse of power flips.

On the Johnathan Ross thread his wife was classed as a child despite travelling the world and having a job. It was also pointed out that celebrities such as Cheryl Cole didn’t get the same treatment because she was a woman and he was a boy. And there’s absolutely nothing you can say that will convince me that she faced the same scrutiny, her career continued to flourish and there has been zero harm to her reputation so clearly it’s not as cut and dry as you are making out.

Exactly. It should be very easy to understand. But some people don't want to for their own reasons (usually because they've been in a similar situation or someone close to them has and they're in denial)

Did anyone ever think a 13yo being pregnant by a 17yo was OK?

It makes a hell of a difference.... Who the Aggressor is seen to be.... Legal children can still be abusers...
This person would still be seen as a child for SOME things... But mostly would be seen as a near adult having sex with a child...

If he was 17 having sex with a 15 year old... Still illegal but less grim... At 13 many girls haven't even gibe through puberty...

Also don't think there was an implication that CC was having sexual contact with a minor?

I think the denial comes from other women who don’t like to admit that some women can be just as bad as men. If a man had met a girl when she was 14 and then had a relationship with her when she became an adult it would be grooming, when a woman does it the judgement isn’t the same even though they are both equally as bad. If you defend it then you are part of the problem.

Like other posters Ive never seen the show but keep seeming to stumble across threads on here about them. Tiresome

However, its her that wants the kids and drives it rather than him, is what I read on here. She is obsessed with pregnancy and babies. Are you going to make any comment on what sort of role model she is?

I don't think many women at all would defend a woman grooming a teenage boy 🙄 In those cases it's usually other males saying it's desirable. "Where were the female teachers like this back in my day" kind of thing.

Well, no, because I’m not talking about Cheryl Cole!

But usually in a relationship with a significant age difference, the younger person is at a disadvantage and so is the female. So in cases where the younger person is also female there’s a sort of double disadvantage, which of course doesn’t make women preying on boys acceptable. But this isn’t really something female celebrities are regularly exposed for either.

My first boyfriend was 16/17ish when I was 14. There was a power imbalance… I was the powerful one 😂 There is really not much difference in the mentality of a 14 year old girl and a 17 year old boy. I think they seem like lovely supportive parents actually. Better parents to 22 kids than some are to 1. Sure on paper it doesn’t look great, but he’s not a predator is he? Come on.

Their claim was that they didnt sleep with each other while she was under age.

In later years he went to the police but there was no action to be taken.

The fact she entered into an adult world of clubs and associating with adults at night damaged her.