To think Meghan Markle isn’t the problem, it’s Harry?

[WryJadeWren]

I don’t understand why Meghan is so often treated as the driving force behind everything people dislike about them, while Harry is portrayed as some helpless man who’s been led astray.

He’s a grown man with his own opinions and the ability to make his own decisions. It’s his family and presumably he has far more history with them than she does. Why is the assumption that she’s manipulated him, rather than that he has his own grievances and is doing what he wants?

You don’t have to like Meghan to recognise that Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. I actually find him more irritating, particularly the impression he gives that everyone else is responsible for his unhappiness.

AIBU to think she gets a disproportionate amount of the blame, while he gets far too much benefit of the doubt?

To blame for what? They've done nothing wrong except live their lives.

They're both as bad as each other tbh 🤷‍♀️ I get the impression they just bolster each other along and share the same delusions about their life. They're perfect for each other.

He only spectacularly turned on his family in the most public of ways after he married her.

She has a history of falling out/ turning on those close to her, including her own family.

That faux curtesy she did while being interviewed was awful. Mocking his gran. The look in his eyes. Regret. He's stuck with it now.

Hmm the tell all book about his family, the TV shows that come from being a royal not an actor, the interviews, the uncles tell all book suspiciously released when they came home, the use of Lillybet without discussion with the queen.

Personally I have always said she thought it would be a Disney movie, all balls and state events. Instead she's expected to open sausage factories in Wolverhampton. That bit is definitely on him. He should have told her it's an actual job and really bloody dull.

I’m sure the tabloids make up all sorts of nonsense but it does sound like she wasn’t very well prepared for the reality of joining the Royal Family, which can really only be Harry’s fault.

Well Harry has never been perfect but for a while that seemed to be part of his charm. Once he met Meghan things seemed to change, so obviously people will point to her as being the trigger. It started off relatively small with her father selling stories (nothing to do with her) but seemed to snowball.

I don’t envision a world where Harry sits in front of Oprah giving a tell all interview without the input of Meghan. There was also a few things that supposedly went on involving her directly (the wedding fall out with Kate, Meghan phoning ITV to complain about Piers Morgan, them being unable to retain staff supposedly due to her behaviour).

She just isn’t very likeable and it’s a shame that Harry seems to have fallen from grace because of it. It’s his choice to be with her of course. His choice to do the interviews and write the books. The question is would he have done it all without her influence.

Neither of these people have caused me any problems.

WryJadeWren
This is only my opinion, but the fact that Meghan was estranged from her own family (apart from her mum Doria), and then married Harry and not that long after he was estranged from his own family. It just seems like a pattern. Almost like it wouldn't have happened if he wasn't with Meghan.
I also feel that she was the driving force on the 'Let's slag The Royal Family off publicly and call them racist'.
Harry has never done anything like that before he met Meghan.
Those are my thought's, for what they are worth.

You don't need permission to write your autobiography or pick a name for your child.

No you don't. But you do need morals to not publicly berate your family in a global and very hurful way. Both with the book and the interviews.

Coming back to the UK to sponge their security costs from the taxpayer, just as Netflix ditch them and the money runs out.

It’s because women get blamed for everything.
He’s a grown man and surely able to decide for himself how he lives his life.
You see the same now being said about Brooklyn Beckham - how his estrangement from his parents is all the fault of his wife or his mother.

Let’s be fair Harry used to dress up in Nazi uniform for fancy dress. Even then he blamed his brother and the culture he was raised in but funnily enough never himself.

Imo they seem to make life incredibly difficult for themselves - want to be a working royal/don’t want to be a working royal/ uk not safe/ moving back to the uk/ school not safe
It must all be very exhausting and we seem to have come full circle with them doing royal type visits to charities they support. Not sure why left in the first place.

It's not his fault he needs security. It's not his fault he was born into that messed up family. He's had more vitriol for being honest about how toxic they are than Prince Andrew has for being a paedophile. Loads of celebrities have written books about their childhoods.

Agree with this. It’s always the fault of the woman.

🙄You clearly didn't watch the Oprah interview and the many many lies they spouted. Have you been living under a flipping rock?!

But you could turn that the other way round and say she gave him the support to speak out on the toxic situation he’s grown up in. Sometimes it takes someone new coming from the outside to give you a different perspective. I think she couldn’t believe how things worked between the RF and the press and that woke him up.

I don’t know which it is but you could certainly interpret it either way.

If you've ever been in a coercively controlled relationship you can see red flags abound surrounding Meghan.

To be fair, marrying me opened my DH’s eyes about some of the behaviour/standards/culture of his family. And vice versa.

We have both made choices (good and bad) as a married couple it’s unlikely we’d have made as single people but happily we aren’t in the position of having our decisions judged by thousands of people (just our mothers 😆 )

I think the Sussexes would have been happier long term if they hadn’t stepped away from the Royal family.

As there’s no way back now, I think they’d be much happier if they quietly stepped out of the public eye, but that’s not who they are so the circus will continue, probably to the detriment of their children.

Exactly.

Neither of them have done anything that remotely bothers me.

I do think that they had an unnecessarily bad, and very racist, press. I also think that the royals could have given much more support than they did. They took the "never complain, never explain" mantra much too far so it looked cold and uncaring.

I do suspect that Meghan made the mistake of thinking that her Hollywood background would prepare her well for royal life, but they are fundamentally extremely different. Royal life and the paparazzi that go with it seem so much more intense. She found to her cost that she could expect zero help and support from her new in-laws.

There were almost certainly cultural differences too.

Personally, I think it takes a brave (or slightly mad) person to marry into the royal family. It isn't all movie star glitz and glamour.

Are you saying people should never speak out about their issues and problems because there is a moral imperative to keep family secrets.

That’s a perverse and unhealthy morality.

Modern society teaches people to speak out even against family.

She pretended to the whole world that her children wouldn’t get prince and princess titles because they were too dark, that’s an outrageous accusation and incorrect as they weren’t due the titles until the queen died which they all knew.

Exactly this