To think Meghan Markle isn’t the problem, it’s Harry?

[WryJadeWren]

I don’t understand why Meghan is so often treated as the driving force behind everything people dislike about them, while Harry is portrayed as some helpless man who’s been led astray.

He’s a grown man with his own opinions and the ability to make his own decisions. It’s his family and presumably he has far more history with them than she does. Why is the assumption that she’s manipulated him, rather than that he has his own grievances and is doing what he wants?

You don’t have to like Meghan to recognise that Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. I actually find him more irritating, particularly the impression he gives that everyone else is responsible for his unhappiness.

AIBU to think she gets a disproportionate amount of the blame, while he gets far too much benefit of the doubt?

I think you mean Meghan Sussex, Duchess of Sussex 😂

I am afraid I cannot agree with your morals here.

Telling people they can’t speak out against family, any family is wrong. But when the family in question protected a man accused of serious impropriety it is especially wrong.

TBF, his parents both did tell all interviews and gave information to journalists and biographers. So it seems this is par for the course.

I do not think you are unreasonable at all.
Having said that I do avoid people who have fallen out with loads of people over and over, no contact with family, had to cut off groups of friends etc. As my dad says "if you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole, keep meeting them all day and YOU'RE the asshole"

I agree that they bolster each other @Tigger2001 and while this works really well for some couples, i.e., they give each other the advice and support that leads to personal and professional success, it's done the opposite with them, unfortunately.

Neither of them seem to be good at handling/maintaining personal relationships nor are they a good business partnership. Many couples don't make good business partners and I think H&M have realized that now. He didn't thrive in the American business world so it's best that they've moved back to the UK.

Now they need to reassess how they handle their personal relationships, because they need a different approach. As others have said, both of them are estranged from family members.

I agree with all of this. She drops people the second they are no longer any use to her. She manipulates him and because he isn't very bright and besotted with her, he falls for every lie and statement.

This is what the Royal Family want us all to think thou isn't it? And the media do as they tell them

Probably from her interviews and documentary. It was pretty clear she was mocking the Queen and our culture..'i didn't know hugging was quite jarring for Brits'.. eh? . Plus everything else she has said

But I ask again, what have Harry and Meghan gained from being so public about this? I note that she doesn't do interviews about her own family.

Dear me OP couldn't you have started this thread on The Royal Family board?
I'm sure another thread about Harry and Meghan would have gone down a treat on there.

This kind of thing is Harry's fault though. How would she have known? She's American. I suspect the whole ' racism' thing was Harry being pissed that there was talk of not giving his kids Prince/Princess titles at all and letting her believe it was because of racism rather than a need to cull the ridiculous handing out of titles for no reason. The Oprah interview was pre recorded. If he has a problem with what was in it he could have said it wasn't true at the time. He not only didn't but went along with it. I agree all the problems are caused by Harry but people still think the RF can do no wrong and are poor innocent lambs always led astray by evil women.

Because the woman is always blamed in these situations.

It's always women's fault. As soon as as a women is available, men become blameless.

Her fault he doesn't get along with his family.
Her fault he cheated.
Her fault for tempting him.
Her fault for not keeping the house tidy.
Her fault the kids are terribly behaved.
On and on it goes...

Harry was desperate to catch up with William. And thought he had found someone who could deal with the media. And indeed actively sought it out.
A girl who was a fan of the Royal family but who claimed not to know who Prince Harry was. As if. It went downhill from there really.
The Palace could have helped her father with the arrangements what to do and not to do. But I don’t think she was upset he wasn’t there at all.
She was treated badly by one member of the Royal family. But it wasn’t Catherine or the late Duke of Edinburgh.
Sometimes you can take the words people say and attach an interpretation to them that was not intended. Reading the attitude behind the words matters a lot. Something as a disabled person I have learnt to read. Some people say all the right things but I know their attitude is not good. Someone else can say something ‘out of date’ but they do not mean to hurt. Their attitude is actually sound.

Meghan I do not think had much intention of staying in the UK and being second fiddle to Catherine. Whoever thought they would be the Fab Four and all get along was quite mad. Very different characters. All of them.

Harry is very troubled still. But Meghan has done nothing to help him. She has presented as if she was going to do the same as his mother. And there was even a car chase. How cruel. Meghan is, to coin an old fashioned term, a cold fish.

He could not stand being away any longer. And has come home. The children will be in British schools. And that will be that.
William will find it hard to forgive them both. Especially for the accusations. And the subsequent stress it gave to both his father and wife and children.
The word ‘sorry’ needs to be heard. Not more blaming that he wants to heal but some people don’t. Hardly conducive to reconciliation. But it does keep Meghan in the headlines and therefore financially of value.

He lost his mum suddenly at a young age in a tragic and entirely preventable accident. Then his grief was paraded around publicly for some weird sort of national entertainment. That’s not the sort of thing you get over. Life long mental health issues are entirely understandable, and certainly a deep hatred of the press, challenges being in the public eye and discomfort with the strange dual nature of his family. He seems a bit annoying and self absorbed but broadly normal and decent. A good outcome, I’d say, given where he’s come from. Meghan also seems a bit annoying and self absorbed but otherwise I really don’t see what her crime is, certainly she’s done nothing wrong that’s relevant to the general public. You don’t have to buy her overpriced jam or whatever it is this month. The level of hatred towards them baffles me.

@Douglasmummy I'm inclined to agree that Harry did a poor job of preparing her for royal life.

The irony is that according to Spare, William advised Harry to take the relationship slowly and this angered Harry. Perhaps his brother did care about him after all and knew that it would be a tough transition for Meghan?

Possibly but again, that's on Harry. Maybe she should have told him to sling his hook like all his more sensible girlfriends did?

Exactly, he took her to Africa and she used everything in her power to make sure she got him,.im sure he boars the pants off her but she will never leave...have a look at clip of her in South Africa pushing the female present out of the way and trying to stand in front of her and trying to.imply she was black so she fitted in whilst wearing a tight off the shoulder dress and showing no respect,.

President lady(cant remember her name) was furious and gave a speach saying American actresses who couldnt respect their culture and dress appropriately.were not welcome,

I don't think there is any point in defending either of them on here. There's a H&M thread which is on part 52 and it's full of people being nasty and writing made up things which they strongly believe.
I don't think they are any worse than any other celebrities but slagging them off has become a national sport. The Daily mail have written 70 articles about her in 19 days which might have something to do with it.
I personally feel sorry for her

I agree Monty36.
Unfortunately it's too late for him to apologise to the late Queen, for the stress he caused her in her latter years. I hope he is sad about that.

They are both as bad as each other. He is an entitled child in a middle-aged man's body and seems to think it's OK to slag off your family across TV, podcasts and in his book. He is not intelligent and is incapable of earning enough money to keep him in the manner he thinks he deserves.

Meghan is smarter and does at least seem to understand that money does not grow on trees and that if you've pissed off your family to the degree he has, money has to be earned. Her attempts to earn cash are cack-handed and often cringe but she is at least trying.

It is also very clear that Harry dropped her into the Royals entirely unprepared for what she was getting herself into. He let her think it was all state banquets and tiaras, not opening community centres in Bolton. She appears manipulative and demanding and unwilling to stick to the "rules" of royal protocol. She rubbed people up the wrong way and went off in a huff when she didn't get her own way.

I think they both have problems. He’s got a king sized chip on his shoulder and she’s craves attention. She definitely needs professional help about how to dress for public events and he just looks like a scruff

@Douglasmummy I wouldn't be surprised if she sometimes wishes that she'd stayed in the US and met a wealthy American businessman instead. Life would have been alot simpler for her!

Arguably, some of that should have been undertaken by the Palace officials. Maybe they did try.
Harry is not the devil incarnate. His work with Invictus is something he can be truly proud of.
I think William realised he was trying to ‘catch him up’. And wanted him to slow down. But instinctively probably felt she was not a good fit.

We dont see doria much anymore do we

He is the ventriloquist's dummy. She works him. To be fair though he is a dimwit too.