DD (5) made a new friend last year in the summer term, let's call her Jane. We have just entered the era of unaccompanied playdates last summer. Summer holidays come round and DDs new friends mum messages about her DD coming for a playdate. I say yes that's fine. Playdate was supposed to only be a couple of hours but the night before I got a text from the mum asking for playdate to start at 9 as Dad was dropping off, then a text later saying she would collect but she was working till 3 so could she collect at 4? It was too late to really cancel it as DD was very excited. I did not agree to any other playdates for the rest of the summer and claimed we were busy. As it happened we ran into Jane having playdates at several other people's houses at various free and cheap activities going on during the summer. It seems Jane's mum and dad pretty much went round the whole class asking for playdates, then pretty much changed the times to 9-4 so neither had to use AL. It became a bit of a discussion between a lot of mums by the end of the summer holidays as quite a few mums felt very used - there are quite a few of us in DDs class on Maternity leave or have only just started going back to work so are not back working full hours yet (me included).
Anyway, since September when DD went into yr1 the friendship has drifted. They are sat on different tables it seems and DD has become closer to other friends. Earlier this week Jane's mum posted in the class Whatsapp about anyone wanting to do playdates over the holidays? She's had no takers. Those who responded have mentioned they are very busy over the holidays so will struggle to do a playdate, us included. We are genuinely busy catching up with friends, family and DD has a dance show at the end of November with a couple of rehearsals in the next few weekends.
Last night I got a text from Jane's mum asking if there was any possibility of a playdate at all in the holidays and that Jane misses DD since they are in different tables. DD isn't really bothered about Jane, also the last playdate they had in the summer was really hard work as it was 9-4 and they got fed up of each other and bickered. I'm kind of glad that the friendship has fizzled back a bit as it makes saying no to what are essentially cf childcare playdates easier as DD isn't good friends with Jane.
AIBU to let this fizzle out and not help. I have enough on with 2 small DC and don't want to be childcare for someone who cba to take AL and won't reciprocate a playdate and will effectively lie the night before to cover their working hours.