To not buy her a tail, so she can be like her friend who ‘is a therian’

[Laura9899]

My ten year old has a friend who seems nice and has sane sensible normal parents and yet she wears a tail and tells my daughter she’s a therian. I’m not in any way happy with all the furry rubbish and this feels along the same lines. My daughter has now asked to be a cat for Halloween, then asked for a furry tail as part of her costume, and now I think it’s actually so she can join in with her friend. They are only ten so it’s likely just play but there’s no way I’m letting her go out in a tail 🙄.

There’s lots of batshit stuff on YouTube and I’ve seen ‘therain’ claptrap too. I would let her have the tail for Halloween if it’s part of her costume, and then confiscate it. If there’s any pushback explain to her that it’s appropriate for fancy dress events but not for everyday life.

In decades past it was a fairy costume and they were a fairy - I’d not make a fuss

I'm all for imaginative play but 10 is a bit old to be indulged in this shit.
I'm cringing inside imagining my 10yr old dn crawling about a forrest with a tail & ears.
They are only a year away from HS, ffs

So, the concern is that the 10 year old is expressing an interest in sexual activity?

I just don't think that asking to dress up as a cat means that at all.

It's fairly obvious that whatever "therian" means to these dc, isn't the same as what it means to the adults.

Have you rtft, or googled therian? It’s not ‘a bit of role play’. When you realise what kids are now being exposed to - that’s the ‘being in another world’. If you actually read the thread, no one is disputing kids being able to play and dress up, they are disputing this which is not play as we know it.

Teen walked into clinic and declared they identified as a cat. They were advised they needed more exercise, stretches, balance work and that cats didn't have phones so they needed to put it down.

Would you take them, aged 10 to a forrest dressed in ears&tail to crawl about?
If I witnessed that I would be disturbed.

If it's just dressing up for Halloween then I would let her wear a tail, as long as she understands that it's only for one day.

You don’t think it’s weird that a child is being indulged for identifying as a cat?

I think that says more about you than the OP.

No. To the OP's child it probably just means dressing up.

To the child's friend, probably mostly still dressing up but describing herself as therian indicates some level of exposure to something beyond this, which is extremely closely tied to the world of fetish.

That's where it crosses a line. For a five year old, this is a line it's easy to manage and to keep them away the rest.

For a child going to secondary school next year, its harder to control. You might be able to keep your own child off the Internet and away from direct contact with this stuff but you can't do the same for their peers. And the fact that the child's friend already seems like she has some knowledge of this would be a red flag that would make me proceed with caution.

They're just kids, what's the harm? When I was 10 me and my best friend used to go 'ghost hunting'...Kids play at stupid things! She's at that awkward age between a kid and a tween/teen. Just let her have the tail, she'll soon tire of it

It's fine. Let her identify as a cat or whatever for a bit if she wants. Seems fairly harmless.

I've told my kids I'm identifying as a non-parent for this morning so they're on their own.

Well, ignoring that the dc in question hasn't actually used the word therian, they just know someone who has (maybe it's you who should rtft?) I still think it's far more likely that they understand the term differently to the adults.

There are probably a few 10 year olds with a good knowledge of sex and kink communities, but I'd consider that a marker of abuse and having been exposed to inappropriate content.

The average 10 year old is probably not saying they want to join a kink community, the idea is bizarre. And if they want to pretend they "have the soul of a cat" I just think that's another part of the imaginative game. It's the same territory as "I'm secretly a princess abandoned to live an ordinary life" or "I was born with the power of witchcraft" or a thousand other play beliefs kids engage in.

I'd far rather 10 year olds were playing than on screens. I imagine screentime is far more harmful and is where they will be far more at risk from harmful adults.

A butt plug. I have seen pictures of men clearly wearing these at Pride events this year.

Obviously it's completely normal for 10 year olds to play dress up games but if buying children costumes accidentally leads to buying adult fetish gear I'd be very wary as to what they might be coming across online.

My 7-year-old wears ears most days. Mostly cat ears but she has other animals too. At home she'll pretend to be various animals. Her 9yo sister joins in sometimes, and sometimes also wears the ears.

They also know their children and it's pretend. I'm grateful that they still play, especially the older one. They know nothing about social media, and YouTube is for short educational videos that we watch together.

In my 9-year-olds class, some girls are like my daughter, care nothing about appearance and just love playing. They still live for imaginative play and toys. And there are others who were into hair maker and getting the perfect outfit.

I'm just responding to the poster who said ....., 10 is a bit old for imaginative play, most 10 year olds have stopped imaginative play. .. This implies all imaginative play. I wasn't referring specifically to pretending to be animals, or even more specifically, cats.

Agree. She just wants to be like her friend for a day, she's not old enough to understand properly what being a therian means, and cats have tails anyway, so why not indulge her just this once? (Obviously if she starts wanting to wear a tail daily that's a different conversation...)

😂😂That could catch on

People are freaked out by it because it is closely related to the Furry world. Which is a fetish world.

It's ludicrous. I saw a young woman with a massive tail shopping in Tesco recently! Everyone was smirking.

It’s scary isn’t it? How many naive people are about.

I’m fully with you on screens being harmful. But these ideas come from screens! The only way an idea like this spreads is some of the 10yr olds being exposed to it online and sharing it with others. In the case of the 10yr old I know calling herself a therian, she learned about it from a peer at school but clearly has been googling and talks about ‘the therian community’. in her case she is absolutely not pretending to believe she is a cat inside, she really believes it, because she’s aware of others telling her it really is possible.

She has influenced other peers of hers and they have googled aspects of it, because they want to understand what it all means and in particular, are they too a therian?! All of that natural and understandable for 10yr olds, but worrying as to what they will come across, and the rabbit hole it takes them down.

Does this make sense as to why people are worried and do not see this as role play?

A lot of the stories here are very similar to my friend's DD who at 10 decided she was a therian, painted cat masks, read the book. By 11 she was gay and now in yr8 'she' is 'he', changed name and dressing as a 'boy' (whatever that means).

I'd far rather 10 year olds were playing than on screens. I imagine screentime is far more harmful and is where they will be far more at risk from harmful adults.

That’s the nub of the issue here. It’s the playing on screens where it all starts.

Surely you understand that predatory grooming starts out with seemingly quite innocent posts about children wearing tails on social media apps?

Online grooming like this is the 21st century tech version of “hello little girl/boy, would you like to see some puppies/kittens?”

This is why I’d nip any of this in the bud; even more urgently if my kids were ND as they seem to be even more susceptible.