Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

[josephiine]

The advert makes it sound like it’s a lovely thing and saves money. I get that it’s cheaper but surely that’s because it is literally a body disposal service?
My FIL has just planned his, he asked my husband if he minds which he doesn’t, but it got us talking, am I missing anything?

I don’t think it’s misleading. It’s a cremation service rather than a funeral service. I’d prefer just to be cremated tbh.

I’d agree with a pp that funerals like marriages are changing. Some people do go all out, some just do the legal essentials and everything in between. You are equally dead and cremated at the end of the day.

Our local undertakers offer it, I'm sure they would still be respectful.

That's the thing though. It's very personal and I'll bet you wouldn't dream of telling people how to grieve, so why would you do it when it comes to funerals?

It's not healing at all. A lot of people find it horrendous and shouldn't be bullied into having one by someone who doesn't mind them.

That has always been an option as far as I'm aware. Crematorium chapels are not all sterile either - they vary although they are non-denominational so eg the stained glass windows in the local crematorium chapels are patterns or nature inspired rather than saints and gods.

Similarly there is no requirement to have a lot of formality in a funeral if you don't want it. You can literally have whatever you want and either do it yourself or engage a celebrant to help structure it if you don't want a priest/minister.

This is what both my husband and I wanted/want and it was written into our POA. My husband's happened 2 years ago tomorrow.
It was a local undertaker who did it for me and he brought my husband's body in a wicker casket in his vehicle and passed in front of our house then on to the Crem. In the evening I took my friend and her husband out for a meal.
It cost just over £1800 which included bringing my husbands ashes home a week later in a nice casket. I don't regret doing it like this as I know I couldn't have faced the usual funeral.
We only came back to live in the UK a few years ago and the friends we had previously are either dead or live all over the Country so it would have been very small one anyway.

My dad had a pure cremation this year. We were able to amend it if we wanted to, to be present etc, if we wanted some words spoken. We went with dad's wishes and just chose a song for him to be taken into the crem with. It was a bit odd on the day - he was cremated at 8 so I had a cup of tea in bed and listened to our playlist we had when he was in hospital. I can understand why he did it and I'm not sure I won't do the same.

This is what i want where not religious, funerals are horrible and il be dead so whats it matter.

I'm definitely having a direct cremation. IDGAF if it's 'just body disposal.' What do you think a cremation is when there IS a funeral? That it's stuffed and people take it home and display it in the dining room?!

I don't want a funeral, and both my (adult) DC have said they are more than happy for me to not have one. DH is the same. He wants a direct cremation too. Can't see the point of a funeral, I don't like them, I don't like going to them, and I think a simple alternative is an excellent idea.

Two thirds of the people turning up at funerals are often people who've had fuck-all to do with the person who is dead for the past 20+ years anyway. I can't stand faux mourning from people who probably didn't even know the eye colour of the deceased, or their middle name, and who haven't seen them since the last century! You even get people turning up who never met them!

I went to a funeral of a man who died very suddenly in June, (a neighbour.) We saw him most days and he was friendly and chatty. Around 100 people came to his funeral at the town crematorium. Around 60 of them I've never seen in my life. (And I had known this man since 2010.) Before the funeral, there were crowds of men laughing and joking before the funeral, and saying 'y'all right mate, not seen you in a couple of months, how's tricks?!' and slapping each other on the back. Hooting and jeering like hooligans.

It was a fucking funeral, and they were acting like it was a school reunion, or a party, or a wedding 'night do.' Pissed as farts as the wake at the local social club, within an hour of getting there. So fucking disrespectful. The close family of the deceased gentlemen left the wake after an hour, and all these men kept partying into the evening.

Like hell is that happening when I die! There was no celebration of the man's life, it was just a piss up, with a load of free food!

Yes its a body disposal service, nothing more. My Sil decided to do this when my brother died. She insisted it was what he wanted, his death was a quick and unexpected so we (his siblings) will never know, he certainly never said anything like that to us. So his body was sent to be cremated with no one (not even Sil) present, no service, no family gathering, no chance to say goodbye. She requested not to have his ashes either. Its made processing his death more difficult.

Dh and I having a direct cremation. I personally am never attending a traditional funeral service again.

Surely all funerals and cremations are just body disposal in different forms with fancier things around them, but essentially it’s a service to dispose of the body, whether you have horse and carriages towing you to a burial plot or a cremation with doves.
lotsbif older people I know want this as they have the view that they don’t want a ceremony, aren’t religious and just don’t really care what happens to their body when they are dead.

I guess they have just rebranded what used to be known as "direct" cremation, to "pure" cremation. My Dad had it and so will I.

That's what I said, all cremations are body disposals! And I guess burials are too in their own way.

But some people have very little family and no friends left if they live to a ripe old age.

Horses for courses.

I appreciate the link, having told the family for years to put me in a cardboard box and straight into the crematorium, I hate fuss.

That said if I pre-deceased my parents, or my children wanted otherwise I won't be there to care and they can do what they want with their inheritance.

Funerals are purely for the living.

And some people (as I said) don't want hangers on, and faux mourners coming along who've had fuck-all to do with you since 1999, necking wine and beer and scoffing all the free food.

This is what i want ,my mums funeral was about £6000
It was what she wanted and what my Dad wanted for her and it was their money so fair enough
But i wouldnt the fuss or the expense
I think my Father in laws direct cremation was about £1500.

It is an unattended cremation.

My PILs and three of my own relatives have all had direct cremations. This was entirely their own choice (which I happened to agree with).

We did not use Pure Cremation, we used a local undertaker. Most undertakers offer direct cremations nowadays.

A PP questioned if things then feel unresolved - no, not at all.

I'm having a direct cremation myself when the time comes.

I sat with my Dad for most of the week when he died, and once he'd passed, I had no doubt that he was no longer my Dad.

How we disposed of his body made absolutely fack all difference to him or anyone else, come to it. I wasn't paying £5k for people he hadn't seen for 20 years to come and pay their respects (I'd been financially supporting him for years beforehand).

There isn't anything to stop people having a memorial and a wake - just not the coffin and service at the crematorium. Then people can get up and talk about the deceased and share stories, play music etc

Maybe even do this when the ashes are returned from a direct cremation and have the urn in place of a coffin

Yes, it does save money as there is no service. You are informed of the time of cremation so you can raise a glass to them at that time, or have a wake at that time. The ashes are then brought to you maybe a week later, when the cremation has taken place.
I wasn't keen when this happened to a family member, as it just felt like the circle hadn't been closed if you see what I mean. There was talk of a wake a few weeks later after Christmas, but it just didn't happen. Just a non event really, and more than a little sad.

My mum had a direct cremation and it’s genuinely psychologically damaged me. I know that won’t be the case for everyone but it was very difficult for me feeling there was no closure or anything

I work for a funeral directors. Yes direct cremations are just that. The body is taken to the crematorium and you get ashes back. Pure Cremations take the bodies to one central crematorium and they are all dealt with there.

As I say I only work for a funeral directors but my view is that for as long as humans have existed we have had ceremonies with the dead loved one there...it creates closure.

People make an effort to attend a funeral. They are widely published. I have known several later celebrations of life where, because of the fact its basically a private party, people who knew the deceased years before and wanted to go, didn't because they weren't invited. Plus if your love ones don't know the address of cousin Fred how can they invite him?

It’s an unattended cremation, which is exactly what a usual cremation is. The body has to be cremated the same day but they don’t start doing it until
long after the mourners have left the chapel.

They put the ashes in a tin?! 😆