Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

[josephiine]

The advert makes it sound like it’s a lovely thing and saves money. I get that it’s cheaper but surely that’s because it is literally a body disposal service?
My FIL has just planned his, he asked my husband if he minds which he doesn’t, but it got us talking, am I missing anything?

We did direct cremation for my mother, but we had a church service on the same day. So service without the body being there, it was absolutely fine and a hell of a lot cheaper.

Personally I hate funerals so to me they make a lot of sense- you can also have a get together at the pub or a room and have speeches and pictures up if you want - I attended one like this and actually thought it was much nicer having a few speeches and some lovely pictures up on a pin board in the place it was held . Felt more like a low key social party -

My Mum’s cremation was through Pure Cremation (her choice).

She had a coffin, we could choose what went in it with her, our immediate family went to their facility in the countryside Hampshire where my Mum’s coffin was placed in a room like a chapel. We could choose music to be played in the background. We spent about half an hour in the room and then we left. A few days later her ashes were delivered to us.

I am sure it can just be ‘body disposal’ if that’s what you wish but what we had was actually lovely and simple and what my Mum wanted - she didn’t want a big service and a fuss.

This is what my mum wants and has already paid for. Her ashes are to be scattered along with dad’s somewhere that has a lot of memories for us as a family. She doesn’t want any fuss.

We did a direct cremation for my Mum. We got the ashes back and scattered them somewhere she loved. We / she didn’t want a funeral as it would have literally have been just 4 people.

See, this is why I always find it odd that the dead person decides what happens after their death, when they are not the ones who experience it. The funeral is surely for the living to remember them/mourn them/say their goodbyes. Once someone is dead, why do they care what their funeral looks like? I think people should leave a sum of money (if they have it) to cover the costs of any funeral, and leave the decisions to the remaining family to decide whether they want a big funeral, a quiet celebration, or nothing at all. (Appreciate that wouldn't be practical if families can't agree...)

This isn’t the case. As I said above, for my Mum it was quite literally a low key funeral - the coffin, music etc, just no speeches and crowds of people.

Cremation service rooms are not very attractive. They are very sterile and a bit weird to me. Burgundy velvet curtain type places.
then the coffin goes through a curtain. I find it pretty awful

many people prefer to have a service or funeral type affair somewhere nicer or more personal

the actual cremation takes place away from everyone anyway

At the end of the day, the body needs to be got rid of, so this seems the ideal way to me. I’ll be having a direct cremation or whatever it’s called. A lot cheaper and no faff of a service.

Not a chance.
Burials are not allowed near water courses now.
Put in your will to be cremated and have your ashes scattered there instead.

You can pre-pay a green burial plot, if you feel strongly about it. There's restrictions about the type of coffin your have, and the burial ground will have guidelines about what can planted around you, so you need to leave specific instructions for whoever is arranging it.

Something like this with a relative of mine. I didn't really get it, it seemed to be 'they'll be cremated some time in the next few days' and my gran thought it might be a multiple body cremation rather than singularly. No ashes but I don't know if they were available.

The person was estranged from all next of kin but I think she had friends who'd have gone to a service. Maybe she requested it, best to think she did.

Funerals are for the living, but if this was my kids preference I’d be perfectly happy with it. It’s definitely becoming increasingly popular - I can think of quite a few people who have chosen DC. No worse than a rushed crematorium service really.
Definitely don’t want to be buried - I hate being cold! 😂

All funerals are a body disposal service OP.

This service just involves the least cost.

I think that people don’t actually attend funerals like they used to .A lot of people went to catch up with old workmates and family. Now we have the internet keeping in touch is much easier . Plus employers are very reluctant to give time off for funerals today unless it’s very close family. It’s a lot of money to pay out for a funeral that few people are going to attend .

I'm doing this for my mum when the time come, she's an atheist and we don't have much family left to attend. The ones who will want to attend haven't bothered to come to see her while she's alive so they aren't coming to any funeral.

Yes, I think it's shroud only, and no coffin, and no embalming of the body at the woodland burial place I'm aware of. I think some are OK with willow caskets.

You don’t have to watch the coffin go through the curtain anymore. You can all leave the chapel of rest and the coffin goes through the curtain then .

Yes, though I'm amused at how much pushy, warm-and-fuzzy advertising it's getting on daytime TV at the moment. I had minor surgery recently and spent a couple of days on the sofa with my leg elevated, and saw endless ads in which perky, good-looking older women with nice hair got very enthusiastic indeed about having pre-bought a direct cremation so that their children wouldn't have the faff of organising a funeral. The bouncy tone was the same as 'I've just found a lovely company that are going to buy my house for pots of cash and still let me live there till I die!' and 'X Energy Company are so cheap and easy to change over to!'

I know. But the point I was making is that it was oddly healing to have his body there, in the coffin, as we all remembered him so fondly. To be there to say goodbye. To have the body of a loved one sent off to burn with no one there to show their love and respect feels odd to me.

Same. I’ve told my kids and they are both fine with it. They both want a direct cremation too.

We had a direct cremation via a local undertaker for my DM. It was much cheaper and fairly straightforward. In all other aspects they treat it the same as any other cremation, taking the body in a hearse and they’re suitably attired. We could have opted for flowers but they talked me out of that! We chose an end of day slot and requested that a particular song be played. We listened to it at the same time. We’ve got her ashes back and we’re planning a celebration of her life at a later date. We’ll scatter some of her ashes here and some where she lives for over 30 years. The only thing that annoyed me was the crematorium getting in touch afterwards and trying to flog me ridiculously priced, unnecessary things like a plot in their grounds and a handwritten note in a ledger that was £300 alone.

We had a direct cremation for both my parents - they were emphatic about not wanting a funeral.

Do not use one of these companies. Totally unnecessary and bound to cause more expense.

We arranged through the local undertaker. The first time, they told us the date and time of the cremation - which takes place at the local crematorium. We had chosen not to attend. In the end my sibling couldn't bear it and turned up. The kind operatives let her in - they did have my parent's name on a nice screen, and were very respectful - even tho they expected no one to be there. There is a cheaper option where you do not know the time and date - they just fit in at their convenience.

The next time we opted to have the small number of family members present at the crematorium - they allow a limited number of people for a short time with the coffin rather than a service etc. Again - all very calm and respectful - they played music of our choice and we sat with the coffin for a few moments in the crem before saying good bye and leaving. It was short and private.

All this was a very reasonable price - much cheaper than a typical crem service.

We collected ashes in due course.

There needs to be an undertaker in any case, so just do it through your local trusted company who can talk you through the options.

My parents had unattended cremations due to the logistics (height of COVID), but I think detaching the body disposal from the celebration of life makes a lot of sense - you can bring everyone together to mourn them as quickly as you like (no waiting 4 weeks for a funeral), and in whatever way you want - whether that's in a church, pub, field or beach and with as much or as little 'fuss' like flowers and music as you want. The (very lovely, kind and helpful) funeral directors said that they could facilitate whatever we wanted, but actually scattering their ashes (yes, they came back separately and all very dignified) in a place they loved was enough closure

You do have to have a coffin but it would be a cardboard one .