Which child is wrong-er

[Dancingwithmyselfoohooh]

Know it's not a word lol

Child A: Breaks something in their own pencil case by accident, is a bit upset and is trying to fix it

Child B: wants to know what happened, asks child A many times/repetitive asking and trying to look

Child A: Becomes fed up of Child A constantly asking, pushes them away in the chest (quite gently)

Child B: Doesn't like being pushed, pushes Child A back much harder, child A nearly falls over a chair, starts to cry and become very upset

Who is in the wrong here?

Child B.

And I would encourage child A to stand up for themselves better earlier on.

Child B as he should have accepted that ‘No’ means ‘No’ and not kept going on at child A to reveal her secret.

Why should the girl child not be allowed some privacy and secrets from the boys?

This is where the ‘Be Kind’ bollocks and expecting women to always give way to men gets us.

That’s what I’d be very firmly pointing out to the other parent if they’re being awkward about it…

?

Poster appears to be suggesting both children made mistakes in how they handled the situation and each has something to learn from the experience.

True, just don't know what FAFO stands for 🤣

Fuck Around and Find Out.

It was obvious from the OP that Child A is your child.

Both were wrong. I wouldn't soothe Child A by telling her that the other child was more wrong. She needs to know she can't control other people, and they may be annoying but pushing is not acceptable.

FTR if you were B's mum, I'd give a similar response. That child also needs to learn that she can't control others, to take no for an answer, and not to respond to pushing by escalating things physically.

Child A because they threw the first punch.
However, Child B is a supercilious PITA who will meet their match soon.

Heavy sympathy for child A. At school I had a lot of experience of "child Bs" - i.e. annoying arseholes who won't respect boundaries no matter how clearly you state them - and I wished I'd pushed a few more of them out of the way.

Some kids will not take no for answer and the earlier other kids can show them they mean business the better. I was still putting up with "child Bs" several years into secondary school.

Eh? She wasn't controlling anyone? She wanted to be left tf alone

That’s not what the poster said, she means your daughter cannot control how someone behaves, only how she reacts to it. It doesn’t matter how annoying the other child was, she should walk away or tell a teacher, not report to violence.

Kids are all annoying at times, it’s a fact of life. But let’s be real though, this is all nonsense isn’t it, two young kids arguing and pushing is going to happen, tell her not to do it again and if it becomes a pattern then start to worry.

She did walk away. He followed her.

I hate the way children can goad, insult another child, but the child that gets physical is blamed. Children need to learn to keep out of each other's faces, mind their business and shut up. He actually initiated it. She retaliated and he went further. This is the age that children need to be taught that they don't get what they want and to respect each others boundaries. You tell his Mother to teach her son to back off. You don't tell your DD that she was wrong, as such, but should only use pushing if she really needs to.

This.

From years of working in schools.

way to go reinforcing that boys can bug the fuck out of girls, but girls get the punishment when teachers do sweet FA to help.

Exactly!

Can you please explain the thinking behind teaching a girl not to defend herself against a boy who won't take no for an answer?

She didn’t need to defend herself, they weren’t down a dark alley, ffs! They were safely in a classroom and she could have and should have just told the teacher if he was being that annoying.

Staff wouldn’t waste more than 30 seconds on this. It would get a “sit down and leave X alone” from me.
We deal with tiny squabbles like this dozens of times a day, it’s the parents who have blown this completely out of proportion

What a weird take on the situation. So, because there were other people present, this girl should accept a boy following her and refusing to leave her alone when she asked him to? She has to just put up with his behaviour until a teacher can come and help? But if they had been alone it would have been ok for her to push him away?

I think your point is that she wasn't in any real danger which is true. But I stand by my opinion that she should be allowed to defend herself from unwanted invasions into her personal space.

What’s weird about it? Op says her child walked away, why didn’t she walk in the teacher’s direction? There was no need for her to physically protect her space by shoving the boy, she just needed to alert the teacher 🤷‍♀️
I’m not sure why you think she’d have to “wait” for the teacher, how long do you reckon she’d have to spend asking for help before the teacher responded?

Let's rephrase your question into what happened:

Can you please explain the thinking behind teaching a child not to push another child?

Not everything is about a person's sex.

I wonder if child A was male and child B female, the opinion would be the same.

They are both in the wrong.

Kids shouldn't push each other.

Er, no, because we live in a society that teaches boys and men that they can expect to invade women's space and bodies without consequences, and, as is amply evidenced by this thread, girls and women that there is no right way to behave to protect themselves. I wish we didn't live in that society, but we do.