To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I feel like I'm constantly desperately trying to keep our house from falling into complete squalor, panicking about unexpected guests when the place looks like a bombsite and it's all generally getting me down.

If you're generally keeping on top of having a presentable, clean house while having a full-time job, DC, but without paying a cleaner...HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like, really break it down for me - what are you doing, when are you doing it, how much time does it take? Where am I going wrong?

(and before anyone says its a DH problem - he more than pulls his weight, has a demanding full time job and is also managing a renovation project on the side so he's swamped).

Yes it’s not possible

Little and often during the week and then a big clean over the weekend.
We only have one child which helps but one of us will take him to whatever sporting fixture he has and the other will blitz the house.
If DS has no sport then all three of us do it.

Much depends on the size of rhe house and how important cleaning is to those who live in it.

Yanbu

Tbf my house was far cleaner and tidier when I was a SAHM but I manage it fine now and often do 45+ hours a week. Bathroom one morning, vacuum one room that evening, change bedding in one room one morning etc. Spread it it through the week then do more at a weekend. I quite like cleaning/tidying though which helps 😬

I work backshift which does help as I can do a little bit before I leave but I tend to do little and often to keep on top of it. One load of washing a day thrown in as soon as I wake up. Dishes washed as I go. Quick hoover before bed. IKEA kallax storage unit to throw in toys so I can’t see them.
On a weekend I spend a few hours getting on top of things and cleaning one room properly.

It keeps it ok. It’s not a show home but reasonably tidy. I have 3 dogs and 3 kids that make more mess than I can keep up with, I think with a smaller family it would be easier!

To a high standard - yes. But if you just want a weekly clean of toilets, baths/showers and floors with a bit of dusting that is possible.

If it's a tidying problem rather than cleanliness you have too many things without a "home".

Amen. I have done it for possibly a week but honestly it was by being so pedantic and possibly taking ten thousand more steps to clean as I went after work or early in the mornings and I was extra exhausted and cranky. Goal is to get a cleaner in in the next few months for a once off to try to get this place in any form of a decent state. Day off today and I just did the bathroom and I’m fed up already!

Well many women have managed it for many years, (keeping a tidy house as well as working,) and having a cleaner just smacks of privilege. Many people on minimum pay can't afford the luxury of a cleaner. You need to get your husband to step up more @FishfingerFlinger You say 'he pulls his weight' but he clearly doesn't if you need a cleaner.

JMO.

This is Mumsnet though, so you will very likely get a lot of posters on your side. 🙄

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Honestly get a cleaner, it’s so worth it. My house is still a tip but I know that the dirt is maximum 2 weeks old. And having the cleaner coming is the motivation I need to tidy the house so she can clean.

I never ever have to think about cleaning the bathrooms now. I didn’t used to do it very often before but I used to think about when I would do it a lot, and feel guilty for not doing. No more!

It is not impossible. I work full-time and keep a clean home. I clean as I go and don't allow stuff to pile up.

My parents raised 3 children here, with worked full-time for much of time and the house was spotless. The kids/teens weren't going anywhere on a weekend before cleaning though.

You can but you have to give up your weekend to do a big clean and maintenance cleaning in the evenings. It helps if you are tidy. When I was working my cleaner came 3 x a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 3 hours each time. I have no.idea how people manage on a couple of hours once a fortnight.or whatever.

YANBU and this is exactly why I cracked this year and got a full time cleaner after hiring someone only when things were desperate or I'd just had a baby!

I use an app because I couldn't be arsed negotiating with people who were unreliable and expensive. Now if my cleaner cancels, the app finds me another.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. They're not always doing things to my standard/preference, but it's a vast improvement and 2 hours that I don't have to personally spend cleaning. It's brilliant and well worth the money for one less thing to worry about and not exhausting myself!

... Just going to add after reading the other responses that yes, it is obviously doable, but at what cost? I was constantly exhausted from tidying up and then cleaning etc etc

I only have one child, but we both work full time and have no cleaner. DH however works shifts so there are times he has a run of days off and does a lot of household stuff then along with sorting dinner. Otherwise I try to do 10-30 minutes in evening of pickup/cleaning after cooking dinner and a bit more at weekends, maybe an hour sat/sun. DH cleans the kitchen every night after tea. 1-2 times a month i have a garden day and weed/tidy up etc. DH cuts grass. Robot vacuum also is run once a day during the work week. I’m not naturally a tidy person but this seems to keep things at bay and i’ve had compliments from visiting friends about it being tidy/clean. They work less hours and have more kids and this will sound terrible but their houses have often been really untidy when i’ve visited. I’ve never said anything though and never would. I think what helps is that i’m in my house less and have less children that they do. I also have a small house.

Not at all. We both work full time and have 4 kids. Admittedly I work from home but that actually means more 'mess'. My parents both worked full time when we were young and house was always clean and tidy.

Wash up straight after meals (dont have a dishwasher).

Clean as well go along - once we have all brushed teeth in morning I wipe the sink down. Toilet cleaned just before bed. Wet room wiped over once had shower, upstairs bathroom cleaned when little one is in bath - just need to give the bathroom wipe round when shes out.

Vac once a day

Mop every couple of days.

If someone sees a mark on a door frame or skirting board etc tbey just wipe it.

Spend about an hour on a morning wiping down window frames, lights, blinds etc.

Thr only thing we struggle with is putting clean washing away and that's only because we all hate it. That tends to get shoved on a cupboard in our room and then every couple of days put away.

My house definitely isnt a show room but I would be happy with anyone coming in because it is clean and tidy.

Yes I think we definitely have a TOO MUCH STUFF problem. I feel like I'm constantly ferrying stuff to the charity shop but it's like bailing out a sinking ship with a bucket, stuff just seems to accumulate!. I'm a terrible one for just getting a little something off vinted, a few books from the charity shop. DCs like to collect EVERYTHING and refuse to part with it. Stuff, stuff everywhere!

You’ve reminded me that I need to book my cleaner.

"just get a cleaner" - it's not that simple.

It's really difficult to find a good cleaner.

Heck, it's even difficult to find a BAD one!

Talk me through this...how much time are you spending doing your bathroom in the morning and when do you fit it in?

It is possible but you need a partner who pulls their weight and older kids who do as they're told.

Imo it's possible if both parents do a fair share, and you keep up a routine.

But if you can afford a cleaners then you get a lot more free time!

the Organised Mum Method is something I have loosely been doing years before reading it, but have a look.

My way: I never clean weekends, I have decided long ago that they are precious
and kids have too many activities, we have friends, there's no time for tidying up and cleaning.

1. declutter
2. have a REALISTIC place for everything. if your house looks like a bomb site the minute you all walk in, you are doing it wrong and you will never get on top of it.
3. tidy up as you go never have to rush for "visitors", why?

the trick is that the house STAYS tidy, so you never have to catch up.
Then you split it and do a room every day and either do a bit everyday, or give up 2 hours one evening a week to clean.

Laundry: 1 load every day, hung before I leave, folded and put away same evening or following day depending how long it takes to dry. If necessary, I put another load in the evening, but 7 or 8 loads of laundry a week are usually enough!

It takes as much time to dump stuff than to put it away neatly, but then you spend your life playing catch up. It's a choice.

While you are doing stuff (cooking, eating, kids playing) things are out but just put them back after.

Never go to bed in a messy house, it takes 10minutes at most to go round and do a quick tidy. Less time than it took me to write this post.

Plus how many children you have, their ages, how often they are in the house making mess/eating, if you have pets etc. Most importantly it's about standards. I have friends that have homes that they would describe as reasonably clean and tidy but that other friends would find dirty and cluttered.

If you have a large house with a large family and pets that are around a lot and high standards then keeping a house clean can literally fill all your waking hours. If you have a small house with fewer people where they are out of the house during the working week and return for a few hours in the evening then it's obviously going to be a lot easier.

Why do people always make it a DH problem? It's not a DH problem! He's working all hours, he is never not working!

Those who say it's easy probably sacrifice things like sleep and leisure time to achieve it. They will also have compliant partners and children or at least they'll not undo cleaning, tidying and decluttering faster than it's done.