To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I feel like I'm constantly desperately trying to keep our house from falling into complete squalor, panicking about unexpected guests when the place looks like a bombsite and it's all generally getting me down.

If you're generally keeping on top of having a presentable, clean house while having a full-time job, DC, but without paying a cleaner...HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like, really break it down for me - what are you doing, when are you doing it, how much time does it take? Where am I going wrong?

(and before anyone says its a DH problem - he more than pulls his weight, has a demanding full time job and is also managing a renovation project on the side so he's swamped).

1. No shoes, food or animals upstairs
2. A set of cleaning products in each bathroom so it is easy for people to clean
3. Dishwasher goes on overnight every night, regardless of how full it is
4. Kitchen surfaces wiped down before bed
5. Laundry load every couple of days
6. Hoover downstairs every other day (only do edges once a week)
7. Hoover upstairs once a week
8. Dusters hidden in various places around the house so it’s easy to grab and do 10 minutes
9. Everyone is responsible for their own stuff (easier now DD is older)
10. Nothing wet, muddy or smelly makes it past the utility room

House is never show standard but also never really dirty or that untidy as we clean as we go - I do most of the directing (nagging) to get it done that way though 😂

I never understand why people say that.

Surely it's when you have to rush and play catch up that you sacrifice things?
If you keep things clean and tidy, it's peaceful, you don't waste your life trying to find lost things, stressing because you see the mess, stressing even more when someone comes in or call to visit.

You have a lot more leisure time when you live in a tidy house.

If people don't care, fair enough, but looking down as people who do care or prefer a minimalist look is weird.

Less Stuff, if everything has a easy space to put away then it can be put away. If you have to pull out 10 things to put one thing away in 'just the right order' to make it fit, it stays out.

Moving things before you can vacuum puts you off vacuuming.

Little and often. Wiping an already clean sink take moments, scrubbing a dirty and forgotten sink takes ages.

The Organized Mum Method already mentioned is a good way of starting to get into a routine if you really want to get your house in order. Reminds you to do that small bit of daily cleaning.

That said. My house mostly looks a dump. We still have too much stuff, and my family are very untidy, I refuse to do their tidying for them and resent the mess the house is in permanently.

The cats in our house are definitely a huge source of mess and dirt. It's often said that cats are clean animals. That's because they wipe all their dirt on floors and the cat flap. Plus there's litter that goes everywhere, hair, sick, remains, beds to wash etc etc. All needs cleaning or else the dirt just multiplies.

I've resisted a robot vacuum because they already hate the human controlled one so I'm not sure how they'd react to one that sprung to life by it's own accord and started disturbed their sleep and chased them around.

It is really difficult to keep your house clean and tidy and visitor ready when you have children and work. Two things that really help me is to try and Touch it Once. Don’t put something down, put it away, ie hang up the coat, not dump it at the bottom of the stairs. Put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket instead of the chair. Ruthlessly get rid of stuff that is stopping you from easily cleaning. That alone will make your house seem bigger and clearer. Lastly don’t be too hard on yourself, as long as the kitchen and bathroom are hygienic, it’s fine, no one is perfect.

Depends if you want to spend all your free time cleaning or not doesn’t it. I know which I chose!

Yes there is definitely a DC problem but honestly I had to re-direct one of them to clean his teeth no less than FIVE times last night before he actually managed it, bless his neurodivergent brain. Whole other issue trying to get him consistently doing chores.

I think there are two aspects to keeping the house looking good - the cleaning and the tidying. They really are different. If you can declutter, it makes the tidying that much easier. Which, in turn, makes the cleaning that much easier. I am not a particularly tidy person and, like yours, the kids leave a trail of mess behind them so I have a couple of things we do (or try to do, and need to do more) that help.

A few years ago we got one of those footstools that has storage. LIFE CHANGING. We shove all the extra little blanekts etc in there and so we just have to do a quick plump of cushions to get the lounge tidy.

We also have deep drawers in the lounge - where we can dump stuff and then I try to go through them every now and again and ditch what's not needed. It's on my list to do as the last two times it was DH who did it and he finds it hard to throw things away so I feel like the clutter is b uilding up again! .

Ditto, school bags etc just get chucked into the cupboard under the stairs.

Robot vacuum. Game changer. I often spend 5 minutes in the morning making sure the floors are clear then turn it on while I do school run/shower etc. Makes a huge difference. Our stairs aren't carpeted so I'll often just quickly brush all the dust/dirt from them onto the floor in the hallway which then gets vacuumed up by the robot. I should mop more often but it gets down once every two weeks and sometimes every week. The robot does do a really good job of keeping it in good shape though.

Bathroms - like others, I am regularly just sticking toilet cleaner down to keep things clean. A couple of times a week I do a quick clean of the the seat (both sides) using a bathroom cleaning spray and toilet paper and I usually do the sink at the same time. It genuinely only takes 5 minutes or less. I also regularly spritz the bath before I get in the shower then just sort of rub and clean it with a cloth using my feet while I'm washing my hair. A proper clean of the full bathroom happens just every two weeks by doing this.

If you aren't already, get into the habit of properly cleaning the kitchen after dinner every night. Wipe down all services, stove, wipe down of any obvious spills or ssticky cupboards etc. This means that "deep" cleaning wher eyou're moving all appliances around and the like really doesn't need to be done more than once every fortnight or two and by doing it routinely at the end of every day, there's no really caked on grime to sort out.

Having said all that, I DO find it can start to get out of hand quite quickly if you're not doing all these things really regularly. And I AM lucky enough to have a cleaner who comes in every fortnight and does those deep clean things as otherwise I would say that would be at least one weekend morning a fortnight I'd be doing it.

It is not high standards, it is really not high standards!

I think it's more about THINKING about cleaning and tidying up.

If you do it there and then, it takes minutes and you free your mind.
It's a waste of life planning or organising your entire evenings and weekends around laundry/ cleaning/ batch cooking. When do you have time to live and enjoy yourself?

Talk me through it! How how how, I am here to learn!

OK, so you've identified part of the problem is too much stuff. Would it work if you moved all the stuff you don't use all the time out of your lounge, kitchen and bathroom and put it another room/cupboard/the garage?

Then make a place for everything that you want in those 3 rooms and clean them.

Then institute routines. After dinner every night someone clears the table, someone stacks the dishwasher (or washes up) and someone clears the kitchen surfaces. That's the kitchen and dining table clean at the end of the day. Before people go to bed, they move anything that they own that is strewn around the lounge. Hoover and dust round if it needs it (5 minutes, no more). Everyone is old enough to leave the bathroom clean behind them.
Trick is then to keep on top of it. Bring the "stuff" you squirreled away out of "quarantine" only if it has a defined place to go to.

With tweens and teens you have a time on a Sunday morning (or whenever suits your household) where everybody does a cleaning job for about 30-40 minutes. That's (in total) as long as you would pay for a cleaner unless you have a massive house. So someone hoovers and dusts upstairs, someone hoovers and dusts downstairs and someone cleans the bathroom (for example). At the end of this your house is clean and it doesn't feel like a huge chore. We used to follow this with cake, but pick whatever you want :)

I have to admit, I am in awe of people who keep a clean and tidy kitchen without a dishwasher

Mine is used to hide dirty stuff just as much as actually cleaning it. It's empty first thing in the morning, and every time something is used, it goes straight in there.

Nothing piling up, nothing dirty, nothing drying.

Some posters even have 2. I am tempted to steal the idea 😂

I actually used AI to generate a schedule. I put in our work hours, extra curriculars, kids ages etc and the size and layout of our house and it broke down jobs through the week to follow I printed it off and stuck it on the fridge. Still not perfect but it has helped a lot and is a good aid for us all to check what needs doing

lower your standards until you finish bootcamp of the entire house

declutter like crazy
and find REALISTIC storage and places for your belongings.

I exaggerate of course, but If you put your coats in the loft and had to lower the ladder to climb and put them on the hooks, your coats would forever live on the floor or the banister and it would always be a mess.

Also, have a print or an app on your phone to tick the essentials so you don't get distracted and finish one task before starting another one.

Of course it's easier if you don't have to play catch up and rush but in order to avoid this then you need to consistently exert effort everyday which will usually eat into your leisure time if you have kids and work FT. It's the same with exercise gardening and virtually every other thing we have to do in life. Little and often might be the most painless approach but it assumes that you have enough of these little chunks of time to do it all which most of us simply don't.

So the idea that keeping things tidy is just effortless is where it starts to become disingenuous. I believe that some people have built the activities required to do this into their daily routine so they don't necessarily feel that they are expending time or effort but of course they are. The chores don't do themselves. Someone has to get up and get them done. Some of my friends are literally running around manically doing bits here and there until 10pm when they fall into bed and rinse and repeat the next day. Not everyone can or even wants to sustain that. It's not really living is it?

3 bed terraced, two teens, 1cat and a full time job. No other adult living in the house.

Clean everyday, not masses, but sweep downstairs, always clean up after cooking. Generally do a clothes wash every other day so it doesn't build up.

I make a to do list every Monday and cross it off as I go. Once a week I do a bigger clean, bathroom, hoover, polish etc

Windows etc get done as and when.

The key for me is don't sit down when you walk in the door. 20 minutes after work can get a lot cleaned.

I personally prefer a clean and tidy home, but I dont clean for more than 2-3 hours each week. Broken down over 7 days thats only 25mins a day. In the grand scheme thats nothing.

I realllly struggle with this (even now I finally have a cleaner). Following with interest. I think I'm just shit at housekeeping, I seem to always be busy but never very effective.

Say about 20 mins. Bulk of it while im waiting for the kettle to boil and brushing my teeth (spray/wipe sink/bath over with the other hand). Finish off while waiting for DS to sort his school bag. Just do bits in between stuff. Toilet cleaner goes in the toilet every few nights then its sorted for the morning, quick spray and wipe over the seat etc. every morning. Just keeping on top of stuff.

I also have a "rule" of every time we all go in/out of a room you take one thing that needs binning or putting back in the right room. (Not enforced but everyone's in the habit now)

Basket in each room too and bottom of the stairs where random shit that doesnt belong gets chucked in then sorted a few times a week.

Vacuum one room in the evening - 5 mins max for a quick blitz then skirting boards/around edges done at weekend.

The main issue is probably too much stuff/clutter. I've been on a mission the last few months to declutter and really reduce the amount of stuff we have in the house. It's so much easier for me to keep it clean now that we don't have tons of bits and bobs on every surface.

It's taken me years to get into a proper routine and I do have to force myself to do things like chucking empty shampoo bottles out as soon as they're empty, putting things back in their actual place as soon as I'm finished with them rather than on the closest surface. It takes a huge amount of effort and discipline when it doesn't come naturally.

We have 5 kids and we get them involved too, they can put a wash on, do the dishwasher, clean the kitchen etc, we also have a "housework day" every month or so and do all the things like cleaning the windows, pulling the sofa out to clean underneath, cleaning the woodwork and all that. They hate it but they know they have to chip in when there's so many of us in the house.

Well it’s possible of course, but at a cost to your downtime. I spend lots of time in front of the tv, my phone and exercising, I could use some of that time to clean, but no thank you, so we pay a cleaner.

I refuse to believe anyone is brushing their teeth well enough while scrubbing the bathroom! Some things really don’t need to multitasked.

It's definitely much more difficult when you work outside the home and are running around doing nursery runs/ school pick ups and commuting. My advice is to lower your standards, declutter and set up some routines.

I manage keeping on top of my home by WFH. I can polish/ mop/ vacuum / hang laundry out/ food shop/ prepping dinner/ nip to the post office during what would be my commute or on my lunch break. My kids are teens that walk themselves to school which saves me another hour in school or nursery commute a day.

Some good tips here. I need to try to get with the "little and often" although my ADHD brain tends to work on 0 or 100 with not much in-between so either I'm running around trying to deep clean the entire house, or I'm overwhelmed and not doing it at all.

I find my problem with "more storage" is that it attracts more stuff until we have overflowing drawers of unnecessary crap. I've been working on more storage being the solution for many years but now think it is maybe part of the problem and less stuff is the asnwer.

The key for me is don't sit down when you walk in the door. 20 minutes after work can get a lot cleaned.

My version of this that I get up a bit earlier than I need to (not massively - 15 minutes or so) and I dont sit down with my cup of tea but rather drink it while I'm doign the morning chores.

I have an irritatingly complex breakfast/packed lunch routine for various unrelated reasons that usually involves cooking at least two, sometimes three, different things (dont' ask) but I can routinely do all that, unload/reload dishwasher, put a load of washing on, sweep stairs, tidy floors so that robot can go on, clean the kitchen so that the counters are all clean and tidy and do the very very basic bathroom cleaning - wipe down of toilet/sink or bath - and still be showered, dressed and at my desk before 9 even though I only get up at 7:15. When the DC were younger, this was earlier because because they needed a bit more help to sort themselves out and I had to do the school run. When I had to go into the city, it was similar but I'd obviously get up even earlier - eg I'd be up at 6 and out door by 7:15, leaving DH to do some of the morning stuff but I'd still do about half.

But not sitting with a cup of tea in the morning really is a massive game changer for my productivty!