To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

[ijustwanttiread]

My partner is absolutely enraged by the idea I might go away without him. We don’t live together and finances are totally separate.

My mum is a planner and likes to know what we would like for Christmas early. I have always wanted to go to London to the biggest bookshops in Europe. Sad, I know, but I love books. I can’t justify a splurge on them though, so I’ve asked her for vouchers. She still gives pretty decent gifts. My plan is to go for a weekend (£100 hotel and £70 train fare)

My partner is enraged. He thinks I should a) ask for money for both of us to take a holiday together and b) go away with him only.

AIBU to do it anyway?

Inform this dud that if, at any time he was under the impression that you wanted to travel with him, he was quite wrong.

He can go pound salt.

You are totally entitled to go somewhere yourself and enjoy something just for YOU. I think it sounds like a wonderful solo trip and I hope you have a great time. You can do what you please, when you please, eat what you please, when you please. Heck, my idea of heaven on earth!

Presuming you must be at the very least in your late twenties, and sounds like you dont have kids or own a house together, what is he doing to never have any money to go away? Does he work in a really dead end job? Or is he just rubbish with money?

Tbh op it sounds like you've outgrown the relationship. If youre not even living together after 12 years I think you know that too.

Even if he wasnt being unreasonable about going away alone (he is!), then getting "enraged" about something so minor is a huge red flag, as is him not wanting YOU to do nice things if he cant!

Have you never been away with friends or family or whatever without him? It sounds like you've spent most of what should be your fun carefree years being a bit dragged tied down by this loser him.

Also can the "cost of london hotel" and "why would you want to spend that on going to a bookstore" people bore off. OP isnt asking for financial advice.

You’ve outgrown this joyless, constricting relationship, OP. Don’t waste another twelve years out of sunk cost fallacy. Don’t waste another twelve days, in fact.

And from whom have you absorbed the idea that loving books is ‘sad’?

Yes it is intimidating breaking up with someone, but relationships can become habitual and joyless. I broke up with my LTP at the age of 33 after 13 years together. It was the best thing I did.
I would also add that the fact he is 'enraged' is a massive red flag and very off putting. You are not be joined at the hip and are free to pursue separate interests with family and friends. Please do opt for a future without this man in your life.