To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

[ijustwanttiread]

My partner is absolutely enraged by the idea I might go away without him. We don’t live together and finances are totally separate.

My mum is a planner and likes to know what we would like for Christmas early. I have always wanted to go to London to the biggest bookshops in Europe. Sad, I know, but I love books. I can’t justify a splurge on them though, so I’ve asked her for vouchers. She still gives pretty decent gifts. My plan is to go for a weekend (£100 hotel and £70 train fare)

My partner is enraged. He thinks I should a) ask for money for both of us to take a holiday together and b) go away with him only.

AIBU to do it anyway?

My town doesn’t have a single bookshop sadly.

I just want to go and get lost in books, and come home with a suitcase full of finds

Who does he think he is? Don't back down on this. It's not sad to like books. Do what pleases you.

Jesus Christ, there's NOTHING unreasonable (or sad) about loving books or wanting to spend a weekend doing something for you by yourself. What is unreasonable is staying with a man who gets 'enraged' about you spending time alone, spending money on yourself or pursuing your own interests.

YABU and should go to Hay on Wye instead

He wants your mum to pay for his holidays. Is he aware how much he has embarrassed himself?

Go. Enjoy your trip. Send him a postcard from every shop.

More seriously, don't stay in a relationship where your partner becomes enraged with you.

Make Hay-On-Wye your next trip. Solo obviously.

I mean … If you have any sense at all, @ijustwanttiread, you won’t be together by January, so where you go and what you do will be absolutely none of his business. (Not that it is now, anyway.)

I’m just going to assume you’re drafting a ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ type novel?

What do you imagine is so bad about being single that you’d rather be in a relationship with a controlling arsehole than? There’s no way I’d choose to live a life of someone telling me what I can or cannot do.

This would be a brilliant weekend, and very much the kind of thing I would love. London has gorgeous bookshops - Daunts is lovely, as also the London Bookbarge. So much to explore! Oh, and your partner - so many red flags a) doesn't get your love for books b) doesn't respect your autonomy/freedom to make plans without him and c) thinks it is appropriate to get you to ask your mum for money to take him!!!

Definitely lose the controlling stroppy arsehole bf for a start. Fuck that shit!

Also, £170 on books is not massive. Probs a dozen tops in somewhere like Waterstones. Could easily spend more!! I do love hours in a bookshop so I think you should definitely have a weekend away to yourself browsing books, My only suggestion is you could approach it in other ways too. Eg, have you looked at Wigtown? Lots of book shops. It’s a ‘book town’ in fact. You can even stay in a wee BnB which is also a bookshop.

He sounds absolutely dreadful! If you left him, you wouldn't have to buy him a Christmas present, and could use that money to add to your book stash 😈.

Go to Piccadilly - the Waterstones is a whole different experience - and Hatchards is just so glorious to wander around. I used to work in the Books Etc opposite the gigantic Waterstones (it is now a Mountain Warehouse or something depressing). It is a lovely area to roam for books - and you can drift up Shaftesbury Ave for Foyles on CCRoad.

Have the most AMAZING time!

Why are you only engaging with talk about books and ignoring all the posts about what a controlling arsehole your boyfriend is?

Go have fun! Cecil Court recently came up on one of my feeds and now I want to go visit that, it's a road of independent bookshops in London.

I couldn't be with a man like this, I don't like controlling and entitled people. I think it's healthy for anyone to do things by themselves once in a while, including going away for a couple of days. A decent partner would not only encourage it, but would want to do it themselves, too.

Dump the insecure control freak and go on as many bookshop trips as you like.

As the great John Waters put it

“We need to make books cool again.
If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t f* ’em!”

Christ, not another one 🤦‍♀️ I'm baffled at all these unreasonable men (so many threads on here!) He's enraged? Tell him to fuck off and don't come back! Honestly, why would anyone put up with a boyfriend who's enraged at you having a weekend away???

If you want a weekend away looking in bookshops, you should go to Hay on Wye - tons of bookshops, lovely places to eat and it's a pretty little town!

Blimey what’s wrong with him then, what n odd jealous little man,

Go for it. It sounds a lovely little break. Tell partner to go to hell.

Enraged at you? Wow because he’s a loser that can’t afford to travel to London..yeah ok and how exactly is this your fault? What a nasty man, I hope you realise you don’t have to put up with this and there’s a better life out there

Lol he sounds like a right catch! Sorry OP xx

I'm struggling to understand how this is your problem? Surely all the more reason for him to cheer you on for having the opportunity yourself?

As others have said, my DP and I have been together 20+ years and have two children, but we still support each other to have separate lives including solo weekends away. Your BF is being totally unreasonable. I wonder if the same rules would apply to him if he got the chance for a weekend away without you?

Buying online is not the same as browsing in a fabulous bookshop.

just got back from a weekend in Londone Kingscross Travelodge £103 per night, £3 over admittedley but I was very pleased with the deal...plus got train for £14 each way Manchester to Euston, bargains to be had if you look around

DUMP HIM! I can barely see you through all the massive red flags. What a monumental prick.

Also, it's not sad to love books. If you've not been already, can I also recommend a trip to Hay-on-Wye?

So your twat of a partner "absolutely enraged" (faaaacking hells bells) about you going away together is a RED FLAG. It would still be a red flag if you lived together and shared your finances as maybe there'd be underlying concerns about childcare or pet care or spending a tight budget but for him to express an opinion about how you share your own money is what's absolutely enraging me and is a massive RED FLAG. It's none of his business, he needs to get in a bin.

He also has the audacity to assume he has any right to dictate what Christmas present you receive from your mum who has been your mother your entire life, this is a controlling and selfish RED FLAG. Your mum can gift you whatever she wants and if it's a gift that you particularly love and want and request then that's even better.

Does he want her to spend twice her budget on the two of you going?! Outrageous. Or does he want to veto your bookshop trip as he'd rather get a weekend away out of it than let you have some solo joy in your life.

I can't emphasise enough what a massive ick this man has given me through my screen. Who even is he? Bin him right off.

He's threatened by books? Grow the fuck up little man.

Enjoy your trip. And your peace. You don't need this kind of ridiculousness in your life. Eww.