AIBU to think my colleague is not too old for motherhood?

[PithyPoet]

Work colleague and friend is having a much wanted first child, of course she’s got comments she’s too old I genuinely don’t feel she is just wondering what others thought

I don’t think anyone at work knew my age… I had DS at 44. Nobody mentioned it anyway! The only people concerned were doctors, TBH. Best of luck to your colleague!

AI suggests replacements for your titles and it’s very easy to use it by mistake even if you don’t want to, quite annoying.

OP, I think it’s nobody’s business who has a child at what age.

It's no one else's concern or their business.

And as shes already pregnant it doesn't matter

Generally speaking...

• More financially stability
• better academic results and broader vocabularies in children with older parents (statistically, obviously not every child)
• Parents have often reached a level of maturity and experience which is reflected in a calmer home environment
• Parents less likely to break up during childhood
• Grandparents more likely to be retired and able to offer reliable loving childcare during early years
• Earlier inheritances which make a more material difference to the child's ability to afford a home as an adult

It's awful innit ?

Ah, thanks. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with the world! I'm not even 60.

This in spades!

Personally I think it’s too old. But so many people are having kids in their 40s now, so they’ll not be noticeably old at the school gates.

😂😂😂😂

But likely not around for their own Grandchildren.

Older than average yes, but not too old. If the person is healthy the odds are good that they should be around for a significant part of the child’s life.

I don’t think many people would intentionally wait till their early 40s to conceive a first child - those I know who have either had fertility issues, met their partner late in life, never met a partner and chose solo motherhood or had a second round of children with a new partner who didn’t have their own kids.

Everyone’s circumstances - including their reasons and timelines for having children are different. People should be more considerate of this, the commenters are being very rude. The child is loved, wanted and already on the way! They should keep their thoughts to themselves. Good luck to her 🎉

Better than the alternative!

If a colleague of mine was posting Mumsnet threads asking random strangers to judge my personal reproductive choices, I’d think they were fucking mental.

Know plenty of women that have had their first in early forties

I had one at Forty five wouldn't recommend it as way more tired than when my other kids were growing up. However there are many positive benefits to having kids in your forties too.

Fine provided she’s not used donor eggs or a surrogate mother.

You have a good point

I wouldn't be to joyful about it thats for sure

Absolutely not a reason.
My grandad sadly wasn’t around for me - he was 72.
My husband’s dad won’t be around for our kids. He never even met me - he was 64.
My late colleague won’t see her grandchildren born - she died at 58.
You have no idea how long you have left.

If she were too old to be a mother, she'd be too old to conceive and give birth to a baby. So she is demonstrably not too old.

I asked her before posting for reference

My lovely ex-sil has just had a baby at 38. She always wanted children but, as the years went on, it became doubtful. She had a great job and house but hadn't found the one. She absolutely adores her much longed-for son. Apparently she smiles at him every time she looks at him. It's beautiful and I'm so made up for her.

At the school gates you see people from all walks of life. A parent in their 40s...I can't imagine that anyone would look twice. It's so normal nowadays x

Much better to have great, great grandchildren before you are 80 and still be expected to provide childcare.

When you start a post you type the content and the title field is below. Below that is another field in with an MN suggested title (AI) which you click to use. Mine has a pale blue background and the eye is drawn to it. It's easy to click on that instead of ignoring it.

Yes, I just found that out when someone replied earlier. I must admit I thought it was the OP who changed it until this annoying new feature was explained to me. I'm sorry 😔

You asked her age?

Or you asked if you could ask on Mumsnet if people think she's too old to be pregnant??

No, not too old. It's very individual.

I'm genuinely surprised posts like this abound and replies saying late 30's and above are too old. Have we, as women, not evolved to be polite and supportive of others at all? 🤦‍♀️

This question comes up a lot on MN. It’s really no one’s business and being a good (enough) parent is much more than about how old you are.

That said I’m not sure these mums fully realise what it will be like being 60+ with a late teenaged child. And what that will be like for the child.

Would not be my choice either as a mother or as the child.