Bride is a good friend. In our group we have had notice of her wedding for nearly 2 years and it's 3 months away. She gave us ample opp. to rsvp with Save The Dates, has kept us up to date with the planning and it's well known she's ordered the favours and seating plan now as well as paid for the entire do with no help and lots of saving up. She invited our friendship group ( all of us are ages 29 to 32 so had a fair few weddings between us now ) and let us all invite our partners. One friend who has form for being spectacularly selfish messaged the group chat yesterday when bride posted to us all to say she isn't coming anymore and has booked a holiday instead as it's the only time she will have to do this with her work schedule. Bride didn't reply at all but another friend said 'wowwww' which i don't necessarily agree was helpful. I saw bride today and she admitted it was really bad form but shrugged and said she will just need to amend the seating plan ( at a fee as ahe already agreed and received the final print ) to remove them and wont get a refund for friend and her boyfriend. She shrugged it off and said at this point what can she really do ? And she wants no ill feelkng before her wedding. Friend can get quite defensive of her choices. I do agree with this and it isn't my wedding but I have to see selfish friend tomorrow at a small group meet up and I don't know what to say when it's bought up, which it will be. I think it's really bloody rude but if I tell her this will it go against my bride friends wishes? Bride friend is lovely and doesn't deserve to be walked all over just because she wont say anything and I find it hard to be fake and pretend someone's not been rude when they have.
Yabu - leave it alone and bite your tongue
Yanbu - she's a cf and needs to know it isn't okay