AIBU to expect my husband to complain about hair in food?

[ForVividPombear]

I’ll try to keep it short I’m so upset about this. Me and DH are out at a restaurant, it takes ages for us to seated, we’re half way through our meals when DH pulls a bit of hair out of his food and drops it on the floor. I check what it was and he says it was a hair and he doesn’t mind the continue eating. DH has always been a bit of a pushover so I call the waiter over, keep in mind this isn’t McDonald’s it was a very high end place.

Waiter comes over, I start to explain the situation, DH interrupts, says there is no problem and asks the waiter to leave. I then ask him why he isn’t getting it redone and he asks me why I’m being such a bitch. I was shocked, walked out for a bit, came back, he apologised and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the meal. When the waiter comes back at the end DH says everything was great and tips £50. At this point I was just done and walked out to wait in the car.

I just want him to stand up for himself a bit more and he just won’t. I’ve brought it up a few times and he mentions he’s the one who paid and it was his food like that is in any way relevant. Then he tries to make me out as the baddie. AIBU?

well no eatery would, I have no doubt they'd have apolgised, replaced the meal and possibly comped (sic) them to avoid a negative review.
but if doesn't care and he's HAPPY to eat it, as opposed to cowering in fear of authority and per some posts on here, forcing it down cos he's too much of a wimp / not manly enough / soooo pathetic etc. then it's frankly his problem.

I'd complain, i'dwant a new meal. I don't consider being different to me as a moral failing.

He couldn’t stand up enjoy for himself though- no way would my husband ( or I) have calmly accepted that, and no way would he have given a tip!

It is relevant because the OP's meal was prepared in the same kitchen, by the same improperly trained and unhygienic individual, in the exact same conditions that could have resulted in hair or any other dirty substance in her food.

The husband was in the wrong here. This wasn't just his problem and up to him to let slide. The person who prepared his food wasn't wearing a hair net or had not tied back his or her hair. Goodness knows what other H&S regs were being flouted in that kitchen. Hair back or covered is a basic rule in a kitchen.

The OP deserves an apology and the husband needs to learn to look beyond his own nose. Just because he wasn't bothered for his own sake doesn't mean he shouldn't have been concerned for his wife's, and he should have complained, or let her complain for him.

She was not being a bitch. People who are paying for their meals deserve the assurance that the food is being prepared in a kitchen where the regs are followed to the letter every single day.

no way would my husband ( or I) have calmly accepted that
But not everyone is you or or DH. Personally, I'd complain too, but I know my DH wouldn't. He'd just not eat the but he saw it touching and he'd laugh about. I wouldn't see it as my place to undermine his decision not to let it bother him and complain on his behalf... he's a grown adult. Similarly if I was complaining he wouldn't tell me not to.

Everyone is different and that's pretty evident across this thread. But under no circumstances should someone take away a grown adults autonomy to complain or not and completely undermine them and storm off. It's controlling and pathetic.

It is relevant because the OP's meal was prepared in the same kitchen, by the same improperly trained and unhygienic individual, in the exact same conditions that could have resulted in hair or any other dirty substance in her food

If she didn’t trust the kitchen as a result of him finding a hair, the answer is surely that she shouldn’t eat her meal, rather than that he should complain and get his meal redone (by the same kitchen)? Him complaining isn’t going to fix the potential lack of hygiene in her meal.

Oh dont be ridiculous, no kitchen is a completely sterile environment and hair can sometimes by accident get it someones food, it happens, it doesnt mean the kitchen is unhygenic.

You sound controlling and stroppy. Live and let live. What if the boot was on the other food and your DH treated you like this?

he's a very lovely classy guy, but you need to chill OP

My DH once found a hair in his meal. He made a comment to me about the hair, moved a section of his meal to the side and continued eating. Upon inspection I let him know that it was in fact.... his own beard hair 😂

Well its up to him isn't it? He wasn't bothered so why are you so annoyed. If he had expected you to complain for him: U. If he expected you not to complain if it was in your food: U. But in this case I think YABU. He shouldn't have a called you a bitch but I would have been a bit pissed off with you too.

If this was reversed he would be called controlling it works the same way for woman no matter how people justify it

Now you're doing it again. Have you considered a creative writing course, because there seems to be a frustrated novelist in you battling to get out... 🤔

I also would not necessarily be bothered about a hair in my food - unless it was a pubic hair, of course.

This thread has shown me that some people's standards and expectations in life are absolutely on the floor.

Or just different to yours?

I wouldn’t complain about a hair, but I would (and have) complained about food not being hot enough. I’ve probably complained about other things too, but none spring to mind. A single hair just isn’t in my list of things I’d be bothered about 🤷‍♀️