Husband opens blinds in baby’s room

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The baby only sleeps in there - nothing else. He insists on going in every morning to open the blinds and the shutters to let light in because it’s ‘unhealthy’ not to do it (I’ve asked what he means and he just says it is dull without the blinds open). They aren’t blackout blinds, just normal blinds, so there is plenty of light in there during the daytime.

But, I’m almost always the one that puts her down for a nap or bedtime. So every time I take her up I have to try and negotiate fiddly blinds with one hand, while being pinched and grabbed because she wants her milk and to go to sleep but won’t with the light streaming in.

so, AIBU to insist he stops bloody opening the blinds for no reason? He thinks I’m wildly over reacting and it’s fine to pull them down when I go in to put her down for a nap.

He’s a fucking idiot who is trying to make your life harder.

Can he put the baby down? How old is the baby?

I would open the blinds too, it’s just a normal part of switching to daytime mode for many people, I don’t think he’s unreasonable with that impulse.

however your difficulties managing the blinds at the same time as holding the baby are also real and important, so compromise should be made.

my solution would be to get a less fiddly blind/curtains, one without string is safer for a child’s room anyway, so then you can have the benefits of sunlight and dark without anyone struggling.

however in the short term, he should listen to the difficulties you’re having and agree to leave the blinds, or do them for you. Has he tried closing the blinds whilst baby is fussing in his arms?

What kind of blinds are they that are so fiddly OP ? I mean venetian blinds are just one tug on a cord to bring down.

To certain extent, morning light is good in a bedroom as is opening the window for twenty minutes minimum for air. So he’s not wrong.

But I am intrigued why you have to try to lower the blinds with one hand? Why can’t you put the baby down in the cot for the ten seconds it takes to lower the blinds?

Or if it’s that difficult, ask him or go up and lower the blinds before the morning nap time comes around.

The blinds should be open and the windows too for at least an hour a day. More this time of year when it’s mild. A shut up room is horrible and stuffy IMO. What kind of blinds do you have? If they’re not toddler safe due to cords maybe an opportunity to upgrade them to something easier like remote control ones.

Get a grip

Why can’t you put the baby down in the cot for the ten seconds it takes to lower the blinds?
This. I can’t fathom how this is an issue. I agree with opening blinds and windows every morning, it’s just part of mould/damp reduction and gets the air circulating.

Couldn’t bear blinds/curtains shut all day. Open them all up and open the window. Put the baby down then close them. Don’t see the problem

Opening blinds and curtains in each room every morning is completely normal behaviour. I really don't understand why it would be an issue to close them again at nap time. Just put baby in the cot and close the blinds, it can't be that fiddly?

Put your baby down in the cot to do it.
Ask him to close them ready for bedtime at 5pm.
Don't bother making the room super dark for daytime naps you make a rod for your own back usually.
Couldn't he just pull them open and open the window for air and then make them dimmer later on?

Is he generally useless and this is just what's making you most resentful atm

I’d want the blinds and windows open every day really.

It shouldn’t really cause that much of a problem - why are you the only one putting her down for a nap, is it because of breastfeeding? Can she be put down for 5 seconds while whoever is putting her down shuts the blind? Can’t he go up and shut the blind before you take her up?

But if he’s doing this as a “fuck you” and refusing to help with naps or shutting the blinds then the blinds aren’t really the biggest issue.

Invest in easier blinds.
Melatonin is naturally working in tandum with daylight and night time.

It is important that people see daylight in the morning to set their body clocks.
Children need to get into the routine of sleeping when it is dark and waking with daylight.

Also OP if you keep those blinds permanently closed and never open the window you’re asking for damp/mould from condensation on the windows as the weather gets colder. Which is really not what you want, especially in a baby’s room.

But NHS guidance advises that babies should sleep in light rooms with open curtains during daytime naps to help them learn the difference between day and night.

This is all absolutely batshit.

if its hard to do it with one hand, whats stopping either of you doing it with two hands just before you get her to sleep.

blinds/curtains open in daytime not sleeping hours is fairly standard.

or is this one of those threads where this one thing could be argued either way, but actually he’s abusive and controlling when you reveal more?

How old is baby

I get the purpose of opening windows, but I can’t see why blinds “should” be opened. What does opening them do? I’m getting “darked on” vibes from this.

Air circulation to the window in full is beneficial. Your husband isn’t doing anything wrong. I’d learn to chill out about it.

Feels like much ado about nothing from both of you. I’d also be opening the blinds (and the window for a little each day!) but not sure why either of you want to die on this hill.

Rooms need light and air. You're closing a blind fgs not piloting the Starship Enterprise, honestly I have to question how some people make it through the day.

YABVU. You know exactly when naptime is, you can just go in there a couple of minutes before and shut them.

No issue

I have never come across blinds that are so difficult.

I would hate a room where the blinds were never opened and daylight never entered. I believe there is evidence that letting the sunshine in can kill dust-dwelling bacteria.

it is a bit too much Miss Havisham for me.

We’ve got a toddler and until recently his blinds were basically permanently down to make it easier for naps and night. But we’ve recently changed this.

Why can’t one of you go in and close them close to nap/bed time? Even if you did it at actual nap time and you’re alone it would take ten seconds and you could even put baby down to do it?

I think we need a bit more info as to why it’s such a struggle because maybe we just don’t understand?

Allow the air from the open window to properly circulate into the room instead of being trapped behind the blind?