Husband opens blinds in baby’s room

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The baby only sleeps in there - nothing else. He insists on going in every morning to open the blinds and the shutters to let light in because it’s ‘unhealthy’ not to do it (I’ve asked what he means and he just says it is dull without the blinds open). They aren’t blackout blinds, just normal blinds, so there is plenty of light in there during the daytime.

But, I’m almost always the one that puts her down for a nap or bedtime. So every time I take her up I have to try and negotiate fiddly blinds with one hand, while being pinched and grabbed because she wants her milk and to go to sleep but won’t with the light streaming in.

so, AIBU to insist he stops bloody opening the blinds for no reason? He thinks I’m wildly over reacting and it’s fine to pull them down when I go in to put her down for a nap.

I think the blinds are better opened OP, and the window for a while too. I don't think he's being unreasonable there

But I think you are tired and I understand how these things can feel passive aggressive when you are frazzled.

I came down to the kitchen the other day to find DH had stacked the oven trays in the sink. He was right: they did need cleaning (ours can't stay in for the pyrolytic clean of the rest of it), but it momentarily made me see red as it felt like criticism. I was about to tell him to clean them himself, then realised in reality I prefer to do messy jobs like that myself as I am more careful.

So I understand this feels like he is pointing out your failure to open them, and then leaving you with the job of closing them and it feels like he is kind of forcing your hand.

Maybe instead of asking him not to open them (he has a good reason to) just ask if he can please close them again approaching nap time when he has opened them.

Simple, he comes with you each time to close blinds while you feed (I assume breast, if not, he does all naps if he's so bloody concerned about the blinds). That would drive me mad.

This is about more than just the blinds.....

Or maybe he'll say "put the child down first 5 seconds"

The child is 16 months old so well able to wait.

OP my husband used to do this and it drove me nuts.
Its just another thing to do when you have a grumpy baby and you're likely exhausted yourself. Tell him if he wants them opened fine but he needs to close them before nap time.

He's obviously being a complete dick on purpose. Why on earth would he choose to not follow your instructions otherwise? I really hate these entitled knob head men who can't just do as their tools.

I don't see an issue. I open/close both DCs blinds before/after naps. Takes seconds. Hate it when my husband leaves them closed!

I’d just quickly go up before hand and close them. I agree with him wanting them open in the morning, couldn’t bare to have a house in darkness

Surely you need to open the window? We have our toddlers window open all day until bedtime. So much healthier. In fact we have most of our windows open all day.

It depends on how good the ventilation is in your room. We live in an older house which is prone to damp, and my daughter is rubbish at remembering to open her blinds and the windows get mould if we don't make sure it happens.

keeping a room dark and sunless keeps the room cooler (may be beneficial in very hot weather) but generally the cooler atmosphere can trap moisture creating a good space for mould and mildew to grow.Perhaps that what your DH is concerned about?
I can understand its a bit tedious if you have your hand full and the blind closure is fiddly. Could you reach a compromise and open the blinds sometimes or partially and share the putting the baby down or ask him to run up and close the blinds before you put the baby down?
I would always open blinds and a small window to let some fresh air and light into a bedroom in the morning or it would remind me of a stately home thats been dank dusty and shut up ! My mum prefers the coolness of never opening the curtains in the summertime!

you know you can have windows open behind closed blinds, right? Air can still get in.

One of our bedrooms is on the ground floor. The blinds are often shut in there if ds is at home and in there as we live opposite a shop on a main road.

On windy days, leaves still manage to blow in under the blinds, even though the slatted blinds are down.

They would have to be some blinds to stop air getting in.

Er -hello!! IF the blind is DOWN - the CORD is up!!

I have certainly been through periods of time when my kids were little when opening and shutting curtains was more than I could cope with. Looking back, I wasn't "surviving", I was absolutely drowning.

I think he needs to stop and realise that if this is such a big deal for you whilst it's a total non-event for him, then he's not pulling his weight. If you are one set of blinds away from collapse, then you need more help from him than just leaving the blinds shut.

How do you open the window if the blind is down?

This is either a tip of the iceberg and you have much worse problems to think about, or it’s one of those issues that feels huge when your tired and getting to grips with having a baby but in the grand scheme of things isn’t worth thinking about.

With a 16 month old surely you can give her a cup of milk down stairs and then put her in her cot or if shes breastfed breastfeed put her in the cot and then flip the blinds as you leave the room.

I have some sympathy with the posters who think I need to get a grip. I probably would have thought the same before I had two small children, a husband who is out 12 hours a day (when he’s not working away) and caring responsibilities for a disabled parent. Plus working more than full time. But I’m stretched so thin anything that makes my life any harder feels personal.

If you see if from a different perspective I think I’m being fairly reasonable! For example… ‘I work away a reasonable amount and spend a lot of my spare time preparing the house for a renovation. I love my job and the time I spend on the house. My wife also works full time as well as 2 evenings a week and helps care for her disabled mother who lives next door. we have a 1-year old and a 3-year old. Every morning I open all the blinds in the house, even though my wife has asked me multiple times not to open the ones in the youngest child’s room because it stops her napping properly and she’s already emotional by the time she goes up for her nap so putting her down to close the blinds results in a nuclear level meltdown. But I like to have them open, so she should just suck it up, right?’

You can reach behind it. From the side. Or though them if they are slatted blinds. Or under it, depending on how your window opens.

Or you’ve opened the window when the blinds were up and they stay open until you want to shut them again.

I have slatted plantaion style blinds. So they are “down” all the time, even when the slats are open. To open the windows, I reach through them or underneath.

Jesus, It’s a bit of fabric or wood, not a steel door.

He's right, it's normal to open blinds in the morning and let light and air in. I thought only teenagers lived like that in the dark. My teen kids don't do it and it drives me mad. I sometimes leave home before daylight for work and when I come back at 3 o'clock it's blazing sunlight but the house is dark inside and they're in the kitchen like idiots with the lights on and all the blinds and curtains drawn in the whole house.

OP I think you are feeling cross and resentful with your DH.

That's ok, and I also get why, in those circumstances, the blinds are annoying.

But it isn't just about the blinds.

Maybe an IKEA blind would help, it has a pole on the side you just push it up and down it's brilliant

You should open them and a window and air the room out daily. Just go up half hour before nap time and shut them .

Yes to this ^^

It does sound trivial and fixable but assume there must be more going on for it to be this annoying to you to want to post here.

If it is something you want to fix though, Ikea (and probably other shops) make a roller blind that is easy to pull down with one hand in a nano second (almost)

I do agree with your DH that it is good to refresh the air and let sunlight into a room.

Mind you - I have grown up children now and I'm irritated that DH opens the blinds in the kitchen out of habit, even though they are those ones that let in light but keep out the sun. During the heatwave they needed to stay down all day. I guess some people have an ingrained habit to open blinds each morning!

Oh, and if I haven’t mentioned upthread, I can’t remember if I have or not, the window is open. No issue with that! I don’t want it open in the depths of winter because it’s mad to me that someone would have a window open and the heating on, but right now it seems sensible.