Husband opens blinds in baby’s room

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The baby only sleeps in there - nothing else. He insists on going in every morning to open the blinds and the shutters to let light in because it’s ‘unhealthy’ not to do it (I’ve asked what he means and he just says it is dull without the blinds open). They aren’t blackout blinds, just normal blinds, so there is plenty of light in there during the daytime.

But, I’m almost always the one that puts her down for a nap or bedtime. So every time I take her up I have to try and negotiate fiddly blinds with one hand, while being pinched and grabbed because she wants her milk and to go to sleep but won’t with the light streaming in.

so, AIBU to insist he stops bloody opening the blinds for no reason? He thinks I’m wildly over reacting and it’s fine to pull them down when I go in to put her down for a nap.

I never shut the curtains or blinds during the day for naps. Only at nighttime.

This! what a tosser. You need to be way firmer with him. What other ways is he making your life more difficult?

Almost as if a kid doesn't have hands 😂😂😂 Honestly stupid comments are rife here

UV light has antimicrobial properties and it's good to flood a room with light and fresh air each day. I can't really believe the blinds are so difficult that you can't put the baby down for a few seconds to lower them. If nothing else, the change from light to dark and back again is a good signal for the baby that it's time for sleep (or to wake up).

I was wondering if OP had a disability? Some of the things which are easy to most people can be very tricky. Or does your husband, OP, and is that why you're always doing the naps?

So you’ve asked him to stop doing something and he’s just refused for no particular reason? Is this illustrative of his attitude towards you in general?

I would think that moat posters here do have or dis have multiple small kids at some point.

If your 16 month old is having a nuclear meltdown and is emotional before going up for the nap then 2 things: it's probably too late for the nap, maybe try earlier and secondly, if already having a meltdown another 5 seconds won't hurt to just put the child down to close the blinds.

You sound like you've too much going on in your life and the problem isn't the blinds. You gave multiple jobs, multiple very young kids, a caring role and drawing on a renovation too? Something probably needs to be pulled back and I dont mean the blinds.

If you don't argue with him over the blinds, it'll be something else.

If he's opening a window, fair enough but not if he's just opening the curtains and blinds.

I agree with him, sorry. I couldn't stand to have the blinds shut all day. All blinds and windows are opened every morning for a good few hours here, weather dependant.

I honestly don't understand why you don't just go and close the blinds before you take the toddler up to bed? We're not talking newborn here, surely they're not attached to you 24/7?

YANBU.

It is literally no skin off your husband's nose to just... not open the blinds in the morning. He isn't going to be in the baby's room at all, it's not going to affect him.

However you do go into the baby's room in the day time and have asked him not to do his weird little foible to save you having to mess with the blinds at nap time and he's refusing.

I'd be annoyed too. It's just a small thing but there's no need for him to do it. He's going out of his way to do something that a. Doesnt need doing, b. Causes you to juggle the baby and the blinds, and c. you've asked him not to do.

Find something small that'll piss him off and start doing it; like putting his coat in the wardrobe upstairs every single time he takes it off, or storing his car keys in a drawer in the kitchen every time he puts them down. Once he's had this insignificant niggle for a few days he might be more amenable to not 'helping' with things that don't concern him.

It's difficult when you are looking after everyone, and likely full of looking-after-everyone-hormones to meet blank refusal with equal blank refusal back. You have asked nicely many times, and you have explained why, but because it is you who is inconvenienced rather than him (and potentially for other reasons) he will not back down. He doesn't even have to do something, just not do something.
If you can't make it his problem to put the baby down to sleep (obviously you mostly can't) the next best answer is......
Break the Blinds.
No really, I know, but your post hormonal self will thank you for it.
Make it as difficult for him to open the blinds as it is for you to close them. Sometimes you have to speak their language for them to hear you.

I never closed the blinds for daytime naps so this wouldn't bother me at all. Closing the blinds at night was always part of our bedtime routine as we said goodbye to the day time and got ready to sleep.

But I think the real issue here is that your husband is ignoring your preferences so you're not unreasonable to be annoyed about that.

I really don’t think opening and closing blinds should cause any problems. It’s a 2 second job. You need to let light in the room and open them every morning.

Why can't he just go up half an hour before and close them? Or if he's able to go up with you and close them for you at the time? Or you close them when you last go for a pee before settling baby?
It does sound like a non-event on paper but I know what it's like when that one, usually irrelevant thing, can feel like the breaking point. If he wants them open, fine, he can also be the one to close them in time for baby having a sleep?

As someone who's only just taken off a blackout blind that was stuck onto my window for 6 months to help my little one nap... YANBU!

Sleep/ naps are priority number one with babies. If your husband disagrees then maybe he should be putting the baby down instead.

Why do you need to let light in to a room that is literally only used for a baby to sleep/ nap in?

As long as you are opening the window and airing it out, light is really neither here nor there.

YABU, IMO. I can’t bear to have blinds/ curtains closed all day, to me it feels oppressive and stuffy. Natural daylight coming into a room can help with circadian rhythms and mood also. If it’s difficult to lower blinds while holding the baby then put baby down while you do it? If you manage it while holding a baby (albeit a struggle) then I’m guessing it wouldn’t take long at all to do it without holding a baby. They will cope being put down for the matter of seconds it takes you to do it. This is a real non issue.

Or maybe she'll say: you put him down and make sure he sleeps ))

If it’s really that annoying for the blinds to be open just shut them again once he leaves for his 12 hour shift. Honestly how often can this be happening if he works 12 hours a day and works away sometimes too? That’s without the fact that a 16 month old is perfectly capable of holding their own bottle, so no reason you can’t put them in their cot and hand them the bottle before going over and pulling the blinds.

Because light vaporises every bacteria known to man and her child will grow up unable to know the difference between night and day, according to some posters.

Napping in the light helps babies develop Circadian rhythm; I swore by it and my children were quick to sleep through at night.

Open at start of day, keep open for nap, close at night. That's what I'd do.

On the face of it you're being unreasonable but it's not about whether the blinds are open or closed is it?

It's about the blinds being the final straw to your camel's back when it comes to bedtime.

So either he takes it upon himself to prepare the bedroom for bedtime before you take baby up - Every. Single. Time.

Or...he leaves the blinds alone to support you when you're sleep deprived, frazzled and touched out.

If he wants to help make the home healthier and fresher then tell him to pick up a duster or grab the hoover.

Opening your eyes to daylight is actually really important and I do open ours - even when DH is still sleeping ( at a reasonable time I hasten to add )

Change the blind to a pull down one - not corded - or add curtains which are easy pulled and once the baby is fed and settled, wrestle with the existing blind

Not opening blinds or curtains feels slovenly and unhealthy to me.
Surely lying the baby in bed then closing the blinds lets the baby know it's bedtime?

What a non issue, OP.

Let air and sunlight in the room during the day, it's healthy.

Put the baby in cot and shut the blinds.