Husband opens blinds in baby’s room

[DownmarketSellingSunset]

The baby only sleeps in there - nothing else. He insists on going in every morning to open the blinds and the shutters to let light in because it’s ‘unhealthy’ not to do it (I’ve asked what he means and he just says it is dull without the blinds open). They aren’t blackout blinds, just normal blinds, so there is plenty of light in there during the daytime.

But, I’m almost always the one that puts her down for a nap or bedtime. So every time I take her up I have to try and negotiate fiddly blinds with one hand, while being pinched and grabbed because she wants her milk and to go to sleep but won’t with the light streaming in.

so, AIBU to insist he stops bloody opening the blinds for no reason? He thinks I’m wildly over reacting and it’s fine to pull them down when I go in to put her down for a nap.

Airflow behind blinds, OP. It’s not that difficult.

So if the real issue is that he isn't doing enough, you need to address that instead of focusing on the blinds. That's a battle that you will always lose, because he has a rational response for why the blinds should be opened. There is no rational reply to why he isn't helping to parent the children.

Could you not put the baby down and then close the blinds?

Have you asked him to stop?

I would be interrupting whatever he's doing and telling him to go close the blinds before I take the baby up for a nap, every single time.

Personally I open the blinds and windows for air flow, but it's not my house.

Also you have bigger issues at play if he's not contributing to the household chores and leaving you to slave away.

Seems like the logical solution.

Yes. Many, many times. He doesn’t like them being shut during the day. It’s not that I’m a hermit or something - I have the back doors open all day at the moment and the blinds downstairs are opened as soon as I come down. It’s just the baby’s bedroom that I care about.

I don't understand why you can't just put the baby down for a minute whilst you close them?

The solution is that you shout him to go up and close the blinds 10 mins before 16 mo needs a nap.

Or you just put her down for a mo.

I would open all blinds in the morning too, except during the heatwave when any in direct sun stayed shut.

Every day id have the blinds and window open for at least 30 ins to let the 'room breathe' . Id happily have them shut after that, but an 'closed' room is nit healthy

This sounds like the straw that has broken the camel’s back for you OP.

I feel as if this is more than just closed blinds.

If it is literally about having to close some blinds then yabu.
My adult son still lives at home but is more often than not at his girlfriend’s house. I still go and open his blinds in the morning, open the window and then close them again at night! It would seem strange to me not to do so.

The simple solutions are often the best.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's not actually the blinds. It's just another thing that your H does that makes your life harder, and has to go out of his way to do it but it's the only thing you can actually vocalise/demonstrate in real time. Gently, YABU in relation to this - but I get the fucking logistics and overstimulation of dealing with a hungry, tired child while having to do one more fucking thing to correct something you've asked him not to do.

YABU about the blinds. YANBU to be at the end of your tether carrying logistics and the load.

Your husband is an idiot but I think its a very old school English thing. My ex was English, I'm Eastern European - he would open and close curtains religiously ))) I'm the sort of person who is happy to have curtains/ blinds open or closed all day, depending on the room, my mood or whatever. He could never explain to me the significance of it, but it was almost like raising and lowering of a flag ))

I don't leave curtains or blinds drawn in the day unless it's absolutely boiling hot so I see why he goes in and opens them.
This a "pick your battles " moment OP, if he is not helping you enough in general then you need to have a sit down chat about what you need from him, but I wouldn't make it all about this small thing in particular.

Make him come with you every time you need blinds lowering. Maybe he will learn then.

@DancelikeFredAstaire

this, OP!

maybe he finds the room stinky in a morning and wants to get plenty of fresh air flow circulating. You say it doesn’t smell but maybe you’re just used to it or maybe his sense of smell is more acute than yours.

Its not rocket science is it?

Put your child down shut the blinds, or nip up 5 mins before and close them

Seriously OP you are being a drama queen about this

My husband is nose blind! I can't stand the smell of a room that hasn't been aired or light

Seeing as the Law changed on blind cords in 2014 (and IKEA definitely withdrew that type several years previously), I suspect that the likelihood of somebody with a baby and a toddler is not using a type that was last on sale over 12 years ago.

I think it isn’t really a case of unreasonable or not, you’re telling your partner that something he is doing is making your life harder while you’re trying to do the already hard job of looking after a small baby. If the room isn’t used between naps/sleep so it doesn’t affect anyone for it to be darker in there and it’s driving you up the wall having to fiddle with the blinds several times a day then it sounds a bit stupors of him to insist on opening them just ‘because’ it’s more normal to have them open in the day. It’s not going to be forever, soon your baby will only be napping once a day and will be happy to be on the floor while you close blinds (or will like helping you close them) and it won’t be a big deal anymore. Hopefully your partner can compromise for a few months.

I would open the blinds as well. Put the baby in the cot so you have both hands then pick the baby back up for feeding et
yabu

So you would rather the room be dark all day?

As someone whose spouse never thinks to open blinds, I firmly agree with your husband here. Sunlight is so important for so many reasons, and I don't find it normal or healthy not to let the light in during the daytime.

Personally, I couldn't live in a house where blinds were drawn in any room during the daylight hours. So depressing!

The child is already 16 months old. The OP said baby I suspect to make it all sound so much more dramatic and get more people to agree with her.