AIBU to find my mum watching every nappy change a bit odd?

[Poppyseededroll]

Can someone explain to me why my mum enjoys watching my baby’s nappy being changed?

Every time I go to change baby’s nappy my mum gets up to come with me and watches. She doesn’t stand back but literally at my shoulder watching baby. I find it quite weird to be honest, surely changing nappies isn’t something fun it’s just one of those slightly manky tasks that needs to be done?

I’ve tried saying to her you don’t need to get up and she say later I want to it’s cute. Really? Am I missing something?

I really don’t know whether she doesn’t trust me and wants to check if the nappy is a month old with fronts living in it or if I am being unreasonable and watching nappy changes really is sweet.

She keeps saying she wants to come over for bath time. If I thought it was for an extra pair of hands then fine; but I find the enjoyment and interest in these tasks odd.

Hand your mum.the baby and say i'll put a cuppa on. Enjoy the helping hands

My mum used to watch to make sure I'm doing it correctly and critique my method 😂

Oh i can understand wanting to watch bathtime. That was one of my favourite bits of my DS being a baby. He was just so happy when he was in his bath. He loved it and it was a pleasure to see him.
But I agree with you about the nappy changing. That is odd to want to watch that every time.

She’s never offered any critique or advice and her enjoyment that I dont understand means I don’t want to let her do it. Also baby is lovely and clean without blowouts or nappy rash so I don’t really want to add another pair of hands to the mix and end up with a mess.

How much time is she spending with you and the little one? Is it your first child? We have six grandkids and I have never had the urge to do this. Next time smile and say thanks mum I have got the hang of it now, could you put the kettle on please? Nip the over engagement in the bud now.

This. Do you live with your mum OP?

Bath time with babies is lovely. My son in law was bathing my grand daughter recently, she's 10 months old, and he shouted downstairs to me did I want to go up.

My first, her third grandchild. She probably sees us twice a week for an hour max, but during that time baby gets excited and wiggles a lot so more often than not fills a nappy. I don’t want to leave it until she’s gone because I can’t bear the thought of them maybe getting sore, but it’s making me feel uncomfortable

Ask her what part she finds cute.

Shes probably just remembering when she was a new mum.

No we don’t live there.

Bathtime might be fun, but I’m so uncomfortable with her finding nappy changes cute that I don’t really want to open up something else

If this was your dad you'd get very different responses. It is a bit odd op

You're implying you think she's finding it, overly interesting?
Is this what you mean?

OP - are you insinuating that you suspect your mother of paedophilic tendencies?

Nappy changes are an intimate part of childcare so it seems more likely that it makes her feel closer to her grandchild.

I'm not sure if that's weird or not tbh.

FGS let's not start going down that route.

You said it clearer than me!

What ? You’re insinuating you can’t trust your mum changing or bathing your baby .
thats not normal to think like this!

I don’t think I’d trust anyone who actively wanted to see a child undressed at every opportunity, regardless of whether they’re male or female!

No. I genuinely don’t understand the interest. I wondered if I was missing something and someone could explain.

Because I don’t understand why she thinks it’s cute I am finding it quite unnerving. The only thing I can think of is she is checking up on my parenting; but I wondered if anyone else thinks it’s sweet or had any insights.

Because I am finding it unnerving it’s making my say no to other things.

I think most people have high trust in their mum's because they know she brought them up as a safe adult. If your mum was a safe adult for you and your siblings then I'm surprised you feel like this. If she wasn't safe for you then don't visit her with your child.
(Edit to say as well as consider your next steps to safeguard others).

She’ll just want involved in the baby care, she knows how quickly the baby stage passes and she wants to be part of it and enjoy being there.

It’s not that I wouldn’t trust her changing them. It’s I don’t understand why you would get up and follow the parent to just go and watch. She isn’t providing any help, but she enjoys watching and I don’t understand

Is the baby a boy or girl? If a girl maybe she's checking up on you as girls are harder to clean? With my first (dd) my Mum would always offer to change her. Like a pp I don't think that she trusted me to do it properly 😅 (at 30 yo)

She just wants involved in baby care. Not much else do with them except watch them, feed and change at that age .

She adores her grandchild. It’s quite normal.

This is more it. I feel like she’s checking up on me and I don’t like it. It feels like she doesn’t trust me with my own baby. I wondered if anyone could give an explanation that wasn’t she doesn’t trust me.

As another poster said, she's probably just got fond memories of caring for her own babies in this way.